Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Garven Good-Bye: Buckeye Cupcakes

Just as I finally began to adjust to my post-Kevin existence and started getting into my friend groove out in Charleston, stupid life had to step in. Robin's and my gender-reversed personality doppelgänger couple Chad (Robin's co-chief and all around medical badass) and Bridget (the real life equivalent of Leslie Knope) decided they needed to pull a Lebron and return to their homeland of Ohio. While this may make it more difficult for our shared future goal of having our hypothetical children Charlie and Charlotte marry one another to gloriously unify these two great families, Robin and I were able to finally come to terms with their leaving after much sobbing and boxed wine.  I wasn't going to allow them to make the long trek home on empty stomachs, so I got to work in the kitchen and whipped up some Funfetti Explosion Cookies and a cupcakey twist on their favorite hometown confection- the Buckeye.

Our hypothetical future grandkids really needs to hope Chad's tall genes are dominant.
Buckeye Cupcakes
Adapted from, the Brown Eyed Baker, and more All Recipes
Servings: 24 cupcakes
Time: 120 minutes

A giant buckeye ball
1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter
1/2 cup butter, softened
2 tsp vanilla extract
4 cups sifted powdered sugar
6 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 tbsp shortening

1 batch chocolate cupcake batter found here (sans the Reese's)
1 batch peanut butter frosting also found here

My next great buckeye inspiration will just be dipping buckets in a giant vat of chocolate pudding.
  1. Make a gazillion buckeyes (or 50). Mix the peanut butter, butter, vanilla, and powdered sugar together in a large bowl by hand until a smooth yet firm dough forms. Shape into ~1-2 tsp balls, and refrigerate while you make the chocolate.
  2. Melt the shortening and chocolate chips together in a double boiler, stirring until smooth.
  3. Use a toothpick to dip the balls into the melted chocolate. Then place the dipped balls onto a baking sheet lined with wax paper. Refrigerate for 30 minutes until set.
  4. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
  5. Get lazy and tired of typing up the same chocolate cupcake recipe again, so make your readers do all the work. Make the chocolate cupcake batter. Fill lined muffin tins slightly less than 2/3 full with batter. Add a buckeye to each. Bake for 13-16 minutes until the toothpick test comes back clean.
  6. Mix the peanut butter frosting together. Top each cupcake with frosting and an additional buckeye.
  7. Hope this convinces your friends to return to Charleston soon.
I heard you liked buckeyes, so I put a buckeye inside of your buckeye.
This cupcake version of Inception was the reason milk was invented. My go to chocolate cupcake was solid as always (although oddly a little dry, which is weird considering all the tears that fell into the batter), and the peanut butter frosting was salty smooth decadence redefined. But, as expected, the buckeyes were the highlight burning brightest in this sugar bomb explosion. Having finally answered the question of what would happen if you supersaturated Reese's with powdered sugar, the buckeyes could make anyone want to move to Midwest even despite those crazy winters.

While we are sad to see them go, Robin and I would like to raise a tall glass of milk and wish Chad and Bridget the best of luck bringing their unique brand of awesome back to their roots.

My next big undertaking will be creating a shrink ray so I can run through a maze of buckeyes (and eat my way out).