The Night of 15 Pizzas

This Saturday night was the ultimate pizza party (take that, all the grade school ones we got for reading books!) For one brief night, we managed to turn Sacha and Maconda's kitchen into our own little Italy thanks to homemade cheese, sauce, dough and every ingredient our brains could think of. The Heights Pizzeria we created had something for everyone on our menu featuring 15 most delectable pizzas. Everyone can kindly stop throwing fancy dinner parties now because nothing you do will ever top this.

Sacha and Maconda AKA The Gracious Hosts

As Sacha and Maconda are among the rare group of our friends adult enough to own a home, they offered it up to mad pizza scientist Kevin MC and the rest of us for a fancy evening of showing our stomachs zero mercy. Maconda was excited for a day of cooking experimentation (see the upcoming mozzarella and ricotta making post), while Sacha was in full on project manager mode ensuring each and every aspect of our kitchen chaos was at least somewhat controlled.

Kevin MC AKA Doughmaster Fresh

Kevin MC (the brilliant biochemistry prof, not to be confused with our usual collaborator plain old Kevin) has been perfecting his pizza making technique for a while now. He came equipped with 20 doughs and enough ingredients and crazy ideas to turn Sacha and Maconda's kitchen into the quintessential lab. All the pics of him came out blurry because it was impossible to capture the speed at which he was dishing out the delicious calculated madness.

The Experimental First Pizza

Ingredients: Tomato Sauce, Parmesan Cheese, Mozzarella Cheese

Kevin MC needed to get to know his equipment, so we sacrificed a fairly standard cheese pizza as his first offering to the heating gods. We learned a lesson about the evenness of heating in the oven (hint: see the burn mark), and got to experience the wonderfully airy yet crunchy crust complimented by gooey cheese for the first time.

Kevin MC's Mashed Potato and Bacon Pizza

 Ingredients: Olive Oil, Mashed Potatoes, Bacon and Mozzarella

This was the pizza I was the most intrigued to try all night. Kevin MC's creamy mashed potatoes somehow managed to replace sauce for one hell of a tasty slice. Never before had I eaten mashed potato pizza, but by the end of the night I would have tried 3 (and that wouldn't be nearly enough).

My Bacon Jam Pizza

Ingredients: Bacon Jam, Homemade Mozzarella, Onions, Arugula and Cracked Black Pepper

When you already know what the greatest pizza in the history of bread and cheese is, why try to make anything else? Way back in 2012, Courtney, Lars and I first made this pizza while enjoying time by Venice Beach. Bacon jam absolutely has to be tried to be believed. The result is a super bacony almost BBQ sauce that would definitely go great on any and all foods. Our freshly made mozzarella (recipe coming soon), arugula and black pepper helped balance the pizza, while the onions provided a nice second layer of crunch. As suspected, the pizza was a complete hit (as was eating bacon jam with a spoon).

Laura V's Pear, Prosciutto and Blue Cheese Pizza

Ingredients: Olive Oil, Pear, Prosciutto and Gorgonzola

Laura V nearly shocked the world with her entry into the pizza competition. The powerful gorgonzola paired nicely with the delicate pear and salty prosciutto for easily one of the most complex yet simple pizzas of the evening.

Kevin 1.0's Meatball Pizza

 Ingredients: Kevin's Homemade Tomato Sauce, Meatballs, Homemade Mozzarella, Basil and Sauteed Mushrooms & Onions

This was the other pizza of the evening that I couldn't wait to try. Frequent blog adventurer Kevin makes some of the world's tastiest tomato sauce and meatballs. Seriously, it's practically a religious experience. Add in sauteed mushrooms, onions, and freshly made cheese, and you get what's essentially the best giant open-faced meatball sub you'll ever have.

Sacha and Maconda's Truffled Meat Lover's Pizza

Ingredients: Tomato Sauce, Ham, Prosciutto, Meatball, Mozzarella and Black Truffle

In an effort to be the fanciest hosts possible, Sacha and Maconda bought the holy grail of home chefs- a truffle. Unfortunately, it was drowned out by the meat and cheese explosion. Fortunately, the meat and cheese were superb (and we still have plenty of truffle for future enjoyment).

Sacha and Maconda's Pesto Chicken Pizza

 Ingredients: Pesto, Roasted Chicken, Mozzarella, Homemade Ricotta and Roma Tomatoes

I'm not a huge fan of pesto, but the one Maconda made converted me over. Add in the homemade Ricotta, wonderfully fresh, juicy tomatoes and chicken, and this was a refreshing pizza to help cut the meat sweats we were starting to experience.

Roland's Bacon, Mushroom and Olive Pizza

Ingredients: Tomato Sauce, Bacon, Prosciutto, Mushrooms, Kalamata Olives, Mozzarella and Ricotta

Roland was inadvertently a man after my heart. My sister and I can vouch that Mushroom and Olive are scientifically the best pizza combo. And then he went and added bacon to it! Well played, sir. Well played.

Cory's 4 Cheese Pizza

Ingredients: Ricotta, Mozzarella, Parmesan, Blue Cheese, Basil and Cracked Black Pepper

I'm not gonna lie. I was a little disappointed to see a cheese pizza pop up after the crazy wormhole of ingredients we had just gone through. Despite my doubts, Cory managed to confirm that with pizza, simple is powerful. The four cheese flavor bomb managed to be just as thrilling as any of our other concoctions and highlighted the awesome power of pepper.

Kevin MC's Bay Area Clam and Radicchio Pizza

Ingredients: Clam, Grilled Radicchio, Parmesan, Olive Oil, Fish Stock and Lemon Juice

I've never been more scared and compelled by food like this in quite some time. Could the coolest named vegetable come together with seafood to make a tasty pizza? The answer was a resounding "yes"! Kevin MC's Bay Area Pizza managed to avoid being overly fishy, and was kicked up even further by the always wonderful lemon and seafood combo.

Kevin MC's and My Bacon Jam and Mashed Potato Hybrid Pizza

 Ingredients: Bacon Jam, Mashed Potatoes, Blue Cheese and Mozzarella

We were just about to begin remaking pizzas in our gluttonous quest, when it struck us that we should create a beautiful hybrid of two of our best early pizzas. The bacon jam upped the decadence of the earlier mashed potato and bacon pizza, while helping us regret our decision to eat so much even more.

Kevin MC's Bagel and Lox Pizza

Ingredients: Smoked Salmon, Capers, Mashed Potatoes and Mozzarella

Breakfast on a pizza was just as good as it sounds. The mozzarella and mashed potatoes provided the creaminess, while the smoked salmon (which turned into normal looking salmon. Thanks a lot, oven!) and briney capers provided the flavor. Also, it taught me an important lesson to check your ingredients when I mistakenly poured fish stock on my slice thinking it was lemon juice (I'm gonna blamed my allergies for not catching the significant difference between the two most dissimilar smelling things in the world).

Danielle's Gluten-Free Pesto Pepperoni Pizza

Ingredients: Pesto, Pepperoni, Mozzarella and Mushrooms

Kudos to the bravery of Danielle for coming to what was essentially a giant gluten bomb. She made hers first in a keen cross-contamination weary move and sought to prove that gluten-free doesn't have to mean boring. Regrettably (since Danielle's cooking has never disappointed), this was the only pizza of the night I didn't sample.

Christina's Nutella Peanut Butter Dessert Pizza

Ingredients: Nutella and Peanut Butter Candy

Christina came prepared with two dessert pizzas. She had us at nutella. The peanut butter and hazelnut combo was just the smooth sugar grenade we needed to help us emerge from our food comas.

Christina's Nutella and Fruit Dessert Pizza

Ingredietns: Nutella, Strawberries, Bananas, Raspberries, Blueberries and Kiwi

Christina's second dessert pizza was even more magnificent than the first. Fresh fruit and nutella are among the greatest pairings known to man, and they delivered on the tasty crust.

Non-Pizza Dessert Corner: Because Why the Hell Not?

Danielle is the queen of gluten-free desserts. These Rice Owl inspired cookies were amazingly crispy chocolate treats that, sandwiched around her amaretto marshmallows (not pictured), made for a killer oreo.

Cory, aside from being an all-star art chemist who is lucky enough to be married to Doughmaster Fresh, is also a cheesecake phenom. Her Amaretto Sour (I'm noticing an unplanned dessert theme) Cheesecake managed to be among the tastiest, creamiest desserts I've ever had despite the law of diminishing returns (read: 15 pizzas) going against it. Somehow, I managed to finish every last bite of my slice including all of the genius crushed almond cookie crust.

The Next Day Pizzas: Because Addiction is Serious

I mentioned earlier that Kevin MC brought 20 pizza doughs. At some point in the evening, we decided to actually listen to our better judgement and stop the madness. Shockingly, Sacha and Maconda found themselves not disgusted by the mere thought of pizza the next day, and they put a few more of those doughs (and, from the looks of it, the mashed potatoes) to good use. I'm starting to worry that they have a problem.

This was one epic night of cooking and eating that may never be topped (and our bodies may never recover from). The night's success was evident by all the happy people unable to move themselves from their seats (but mostly by Sacha and I sprawled out on the floor and sofa, respectively). Despite consuming my body weight in pizza, I still found myself craving it the next day. Unfortunately, all pizza from now on just won't live up to that night.

Thanks again to our gracious hosts and pizza experts for a night like none other!

The 200th Post Bonanza: Brinner of the Gods

Two hundred posts, over 25 thousand views, and about 10 lbs or so have now passed since I started this blog looking for something else to do aside from watching The Price is Right and Food Network on my sister's couch.  What began as simple vegetarian dinners has morphed in to complex baking and grilling adventures (and finally the ability to handle raw meat!). Since I now have my own kitchen to make a mess of, I thought it was only fitting to go back to my roots of destroying other people's kitchens for the big 2-0-0 (and I'm writing this while binging on Food Network for added nostalgia).

Tofu Kale Lasagna: the post that started it all. It looks like it's trying to tell me something.

Since Kevin is always game for a night of cooking, he was the perfect mark. Given our culinary natures, there was no way we were going to just make one simple thing. Oh, no. My bicentennial (Does that work when you're not talking about an anniversary? It's my blog, and I'll do what I want!) cooking adventure was going to be easily the most complex and far-reaching one yet. What would have normally been three separate posts will be combined into one massive blowout to commemorate this historic self-indulgent occasion.

The most important and fancy meal of all, brinner, served as the backdrop for our night of excess. Over five hours of cooking and dozens of judging looks from our friend Charlotte (we're not used to having people around to witness how ridiculous we get during our escapades) culminated in Southwestern Omelette "Sushi", Biscuit Smoked Salmon Eggs Benedict, Chicken & Waffles, Mojitos and Mimosas.

Southwestern Omelette "Sushi"

The best part about cooking at Kevin's- his fancy camera comes along for the ride. Somehow, this looked surprisingly like sushi. 

Inspired by Serious Eats
Servings: 9 pieces
Time: A lot longer than you'd think but totally worth it

Why stop there when you can wrap it in bacon?

12+ pieces of bacon
3 eggs scrambled with a tiny bit of milk
Olive oil
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 sweet onion, chopped
2 jalapenos, seeded and chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
Cheddar Cheese
1 package frozen hash browns
1 package Jimmy Dean ground sausage
Cilantro
Salsa

The stages of a bacon roll. Note: we had to reduce the amount of filling to half as we were unable to force it shut initially.

So much tasty filling

1. Preheat your oven to 425 F.
2. Make a bacon weave (pictured above). Bake on a cookie sheet with aluminum foil in the oven until almost crispy but not quite done.
3. While the bacon is cooking, cook your scrambled eggs. Set aside.
4. Sautée the bell pepper, onion, jalapeno and garlic in olive oil over medium heat until the onions become soft and translucent (about 7-10 minutes). Set aside.
5. Cook the hash browns in a little olive oil until browned and cooked through.
6. Remove the bacon from the oven and dispose of the aluminum foil to get rid of the grease.
7. Layer your roll as so: a full layer of cheddar, topped with half layers (or you won't be able to roll it shut) of hash browns, scrambled eggs, veggies, sausage and finally more cheese. Close your roll.
8. Broil in the oven until slightly crispy (about 3-5 minutes).
9. Cut into tiny rolls while trying not to burn yourself on the bacon grease.
10. Serve with salsa, cilantro and mojitos.

Don't forget the salsa for added spice and juiciness to balance the crispy bacon.

Originally we wanted an entire evening of brinner "sushi", but, as you will see from the other posts, that didn't work out. Our sole faux sushi entry, however, just may have been the best dish of the evening. Everything I love about omelets managed to shine through and even stand up to the world's most amazing invention- the bacon weave. It's a good thing that this was round 1 because we still had enough room in our stomachs to completely finish the roll. Just thinking about that crispy bacon surrounding gooey cheese, spicy eggs and sausage is making my mouth water. And to think, I originally told Kevin the sausage was going to be too much.

Mojitos
From Kevin's Mind

Juice of half a lime
Lime wedge
8-10 mint leaves
1 tsp sugar
1-2 shots of clear rum
Club soda to dilution

Muddled is a word that isn't used nearly enough.

1. Squeeze the lime juice into a glass. Add mint leaves and sugar. Muddle.
2. Mix in the rum and club soda to proper strength. 
3. Garnish with a lime wedge and serve.

Kevin has been perfecting his mojitos for two years now in an effort to permanently carve out a spot in my Cuban heart, and they really do just keep getting better and better. The sweetness combined with the lime and mint provides one of the most refreshing adult beverages around.

Biscuit Smoked Salmon Eggs Benedict

This was after about 20 tweaks to the dish. We may have allowed it to cool...

Adapted from All Recipes and Food Network

Servings: 12 biscuits then just however many eggs you are willing to poach

Time: 45 minutes

Artistic chopping

Biscuits

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 tbsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 tbsp white sugar

1/3 cup shortening

2/3 cup milk

1/3 cup orange juice

Cucumber, sliced thinly

Smoked salmon

Poached Eggs

Asparagus, chopped
Green onions, thinly sliced

Hollandaise

3 large egg yolks

1 1/2 tsp lemon juice

Pinch cayenne Pepper

1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted

1/2 tsp kosher salt

Sriracha to taste

Deceptively simple yet delicious

1. Preheat the oven to 425 F.
2. Whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.
3. Cut in the shortening until it looks like coarse meal.
4. Slowly stir in the milk and orange juice until the dough comes together. If the dough is too sticky, add a little more flour until it is workable.
5. Knead the dough ~ 15-20 times and roll out into a rectangle.  Cut the biscuits as desired.
6. Bake for 13-15 minutes on a baking sheet. Brush with melted butter about halfway through.
7. Sautée the asparagus in olive oil until they become a more colorful green and soften.
8. When the biscuits have cooled, hollow out the inside (but leave the bottom alone) so that it can fit your cucumber slice. 
9. Make your hollandaise by mixing the egg yolks, lemon juice, cayenne, salt and sriracha together in a blender until well combined. Then gradually pour in the melted butter while running the blender to make the sauce frothy. 
10. Top your biscuit/cucumber combo with smoked salmon, a poached egg, asparagus, scallions, a pinch of cayenne and a drizzle of Hollandaise sauce. Enjoy with a mimosa.

Damn you, drooping asparagus! This would've been a perfect picture showcasing the complex inner machinations of the biscuit eggs benedict.

Of our final two courses, this was the one that came the closest to our initial "sushi" dreams. The biscuit initially seemed a little too dense and simple, but it actually worked beautifully (and was amazing on its buttery own). All the layers played together nicely, as the cucumber added a freshness and crispness to the smokey smooth salmon and creamy, decadent poached egg. Meanwhile the ridiculously easy blender Hollandaise provided a hearty sriracha kick and further buttery goodness that was complimented by the texture and color providing asparagus and scallions. There was only one downfall of this dish. Kevin and I spent so much time working on making it pretty and taking pictures that it had time to cool down. Just make sure you eat it as soon as the poached egg is done, and you'll be set.

Charlotte's Super Secret Mimosa Family Recipe

Champagne

Orange Juice

Skillz

1. Look at Terry funny because he asked you to make mimosas when you brought beer.
2. Pour the champagne into a glass with orange juice in a 2:1 or so ratio (on the alcoholic side).
3. Drink.

Charlotte had two jobs aside from showering us with compliments about our cooking. She was the chief structural engineer checking Kevin's bacon weave (see above), and she was in charge of making mimosas to help our evening achieve maximum fancitude. Somehow she managed to overcome the extreme pressures of both of these important duties and provided us with wonderful mimosas (and found like 20 mistakes in Kevin's weaving). As such, she will be able to continue eating our food and judging us in the future.

Chicken and Waffles

Be careful not to get too drawn in by the delicious looking waffles. Paul Deen will swallow your soul!

Adapted from All Recipes and our usual Beer Batter

Servings: Far more than you can eat after the rest of Brinner of the Gods (or like 6 normal)

Time: 30 minutes

After 10 months, I returned Kevin's waffle iron.

Waffles

3 eggs

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

Syrup

Creepy looking Paula Deen Sauce

Chicken

1 cup flour

10-12 oz beer (we used Newcastle Cabbie Black Ale)

Sriracha

Black Pepper

Cayenne

Salt

Cajun Seasoning

Chicken breast, cut into nuggets

Peanut oil for frying

After all the previous food, we needed something fried.

1. Preheat the oven to 200 F.
2. Mix the waffle batter together by whisking the eggs, sugar, melted butter, flour and baking powder together in a large bowl. Set aside.
3. Heat the peanut oil to 370 F. Make sure you leave extra room in your pan to avoid hot oil splashing.
4. Mix the beer batter together for the fried chicken by whisking the flour, beer, Sriracha, black pepper, cayenne, salt and cajun seasoning together in a large bowl.
5. Dredge your chicken in the beer batter (be careful not to mix up the two batters) and fry for about 5 minutes in the peanut oil. Remove with a slotted spatula and let some of the excess grease come off a plate covered in paper towels. Transfer to a baking sheet and keep warm in the oven until the waffles are done.
6. Make the waffles in a waffle iron at a high but not quite the highest setting. Spray the iron first to prevent sticking then add your batter and spread it out as thinly as you can (but be warned it is a thick batter). Cook for about 2-3 minutes each until the bottom becomes crisp and the top begins to firm.
7. Cut the waffles into strips and serve with the chicken, sriracha, syrup, creepy Paula Deen sauce (we used chipotle raspberry) and mimosas or mojitos.

I'm sad we couldn't get an action shot of syrup splashing everywhere like in a Chili's ad.

This wasn't my first foray into the exciting world of chicken and waffles (see here), but it was by far my most successful. The waffles were actually from a pizzelle recipe, meaning they were heavy on the sugar and butter. That combo actually worked amazingly well on its own, but it was especially fantastic with the contrasting savory and spicy beer battered chicken. Speaking of our fried poultry, our frequently used batter again provided just the right flavors and kick of spice, but it was just a tad too airy, proving it is best for its normally intended tempura or onion rings. Combine that with rich syrup and a little sriracha, and you have the best dipping combo this side of chips and guac. Unfortunately, this was the final course, so it was woefully neglected due to all of us having contracted food babies.

After all this time, this is still an accurate description of how I feel about cooking and this blog. Seen originally in my early Kimchi Fried Rice.

I could not have thought of a better way to celebrate my 200th post than this night which truly epitomized my view of cooking shenanigans. Don't worry faithful readers (and by that, I of course mean my mother), I won't rest on my laurels and past semi-success. Stay tuned for post 1 of my next 200- Dr. Pepper Braised Brisket Tacos.

The future is looking bright.

Fancy Mother's Day Brunch: Bacon Cheddar Waffles

Kevin's pictures are more artsy than mine.

This year, I decided to do something really special for Mother's Day. With the help of culinary partner in crime Kevin, I would create the most decadent and fancy Mother's Day Brunch in the history of women having babies. We would tackle not one, but two kinds of waffles- the desserty Choco Waffle with Raspberries and the savory Bacon Cheddar Waffle. It would be a feast to rival even our usual weekend staple breakfast tacos. We just forgot one small detail- actually having our moms there for the fanciness.

Bacon Cheddar Waffles
Adapted from Bonappetit.com
Time: 30 minutes
Servings: 12 waffles

Bacon
1 3/4 cups flour
1 tbsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp sea salt
3 large egg whites
3 large egg yolks
1 cup butter, melted (I would suggest halving this)
1 cup  buttermilk
3/4 cup club soda
non-stick vegetable oil spray
Cheddar Cheese
Eggs for poaching

Fluffy egg whited batter

1. Preheat the oven to 250 F.
2. Fry up some bacon. Bask in the smell of bacon kitchen.
3. Preheat the waffle iron to a very hot setting.
4. Whisk the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and sea salt together in a large bowl. Set aside.
5. Mix the egg yolks, melted butter, buttermilk and club soda together in a medium bowl.
6. Beat the egg whites to medium-soft peaks.
7. Slowly whisk the wet ingredients in with the dry ones until well mixed.
8. Gently fold in the egg whites.
9. Spray the waffle iron to prevent sticking.
10. Pour batter into the iron, making sure to spread it out to the corners.
11. Sprinkle on cheddar and bacon.
12. Cook until crispy.
13. Keep warm in the oven.
14. Poach eggs.
15. Top waffles with poached eggs and glorious mounds of additional cheese and bacon.

The waffles may have spread quite a bit in the iron. Unfortunately, I suggested we make them in my kitchen.

Prepare for a full meal from these ultra savory and rich waffles. Magically combining an entire breakfast in to convenient waffle form was a stroke of absolute genius. The bacon and cheddar really make these crispy flavorful rectangles pop, while the poached egg serves as a perfect gooey substitute for syrup. While these waffles were incredible, I would definitely recommend cutting back on some of the butter and enjoying them with a glass of orange juice to cut it somewhat. Just be prepared to be incapacitated for several hours afterwards (which conveniently meant I could do nothing else but write).

Fun fact: My mom is about as tall as one of the waffles

Stay tuned for the sweet end to our Mother's Day Brunch Bonanza- Choco Waffles.