The Search for the Perfect Biscuit: Cheddar Green Onion Buttermilk

Living in the South means constantly being in search of the holy grail of biscuits. While I was hoping to run an experiment similar to the Oreo frosting permutations, I was seemingly at a loss for what aspect to vary in a biscuit. Everyone knows buttermilk biscuits are the best, so it would be fruitless to test with and without it. In the end, I decided on a much more subtle yet important factor in the make-up of a biscuit- the flour.

Would normal, run-of-the-mill all-purpose flour prove to be the most versatile and best or would the lighter White Lilly flour prove advantageous? Or would any of it matter so long as I ended up with a belly full of biscuits?

Cheddar Green Onion Buttermilk Biscuits
Adapted from the Joy the Baker Cookbook
Servings: 10-12 biscuits
Time: 45 minutes

The only prep pic I took. Note the light White Lily!

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tbsp granulated sugar
4 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp cream of tartar
3/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup cold buttermilk, plus more for topping
1 egg
3/4 cup cheddar cheese, chopped into small cubes
3 tbsp green onion, diced
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small cubes
Coarse sea salt

1. Preheat the oven to 425 F. 
2. Whisk the flour, sugar, baking powder, cream of tartar, and salt together in a large bowl.
3. In a separate bowl, whisk the buttermilk and egg together.
4. In yet another bowl, toss the cheese and green onions together. 
5. Cut the butter into the flour mixture until it resembles coarse meal.
6. Stir in the cheese mixture.
7. Create a well in the center of the flour and pour in the buttermilk mix.
8. Toss the flour mixture together until the dough comes together. 
9. Knead the dough on a lightly floured surface for 8-10 minutes then form a 1 1/2 inch thick circle. 
10. Cut the dough into circles then put place them onto baking sheets lined with parchment paper. 
11. Brush with buttermilk and sprinkle with coarse sea salt. Bake for 12-15 minutes.
12. Forget to take any pictures of the actual dough. 

The White Lily Biscuits. Note: all the extra burnt cheddar around the edges was already in my belly.

The difference between the two was readily apparent from the dough itself. The White Lilly produced a far more moist dough that had to have extra flour added just to be manageable, while the all-purpose flour was almost too dry. Since this wasn't a strictly controlled experiment and I was looking for a workable dough, the end results were pretty similar.

The all-purpose flour biscuits that were more porous thanks to having to add more buttermilk.

Both biscuits had great cheddar flavor (especially the burnt bits that I removed to at least make my pictures semi pretty) balanced nicely by the green onion (fyi: the original recipe calls for chives). The biscuits were light and bouncy and held surprisingly well as the week went along, but they did not approach the greatest biscuit ever. These were ideally suited for dipping into soup or gravy, but, on their own, they were a little lacking likely from their height deficiency (a problem I am all too familiar with). While this mini-experiment may not have produced any real results, it did at least set me on the path for my next biscuit challenge- varying baking soda/baking powder to achieve the best results for either standard biscuits or breakfast sandwiches. 

Engagement Mini Cherry Pies

Life has many milestones. From graduating college and grad school to baking my first cupcake to buying a dog, I had hit most of the important ones. But the biggie still remained. Following a year dating in college, the better part of a decade remaining really close friends, over two years of being back together, and moving halfway across the country to start a life together, it was time to make things with Robin super official.

After 10 years, these thought bubbles still hold (fortunately, my predilection for Lincoln beards does not).

With Robin's family medicine residency now over and her about to begin her new job as a full fledged smarty-pants Doctor, the timing seemed perfect to embark on the next phase of our relationship. Over the last ten years, I've been amazed watching her grow from a Freshman in college to the accomplished woman she is today, and I couldn't be prouder. In order to properly kick-off this momentous occasion in our lives, I decided to reimagine our first time baking together during our wonderfully awkward flirty but not together period circa 2011.

Would my cupcakey ode to our Cherry Pie of long ago be enough to convince her to spend the rest of her life with me, or did I totally misread this whole living together thing?

Engagement Mini Cherry Pies
Adapted from Table Spoon and Food Network

Delicious, if not overly romantic filling.

Servings: 12 mini pies
Time: 90 minutes

4 Pillsbury Refrigerated Pie Crusts
2 cups tart cherries
2 1/2 cups dark sweet cherries
1 cup granulated sugar
4 tbsp cornstarch
3/8 tsp-1/2 tsp pure almond extract
1 egg, whisked

I was going to prove myself to be a worthy homemaker, if it was the last thing I did!

1. Spend ten years being best friends with the awesomest, smartest girl around.
2. Realize that savings accounts are for losers, and buy a ring.
3. Freak out about how you're going to propose and almost ruin it until your sister calms you down and talks sense into you.
4. Look back on your fond memories of your first time baking together with your love.
5. Wait for her to go to work then try to make as little mess as possible in the kitchen for once.
6. Heat the cherries in a covered medium saucepan over medium-low heat until a fair amount of juice forms (about 5 minutes).
7. Sift the cornstarch and sugar together. Then stir it into the mix until well incorporated. 
8. Mix in the almond extract and continue cooking until it thickens, stirring frequently.
9. If it gets too thick, add small amounts of water. If it won't thicken up, add small amounts of cornstarch.
10. Let cool to room temp (or hide in the back of the fridge until she goes to sleep).
11. Wake up super early, but, whatever. It's not like you really slept much anyway.
12. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
13. Roll out the pie crusts and cut out twelve 4" discs. Press the discs into greased muffin tins so that they are just sticking out.
14. Fill each almost completely with your cherry mixture. 
15. Cut 6 thin strips to from the lattice of each pie and weave delicately. Press the ends of the lattice into the main crust to bring the two together. Marvel at how truly bad your lattice making abilities are, and make a heart-shaped one just in case.
16. Brush the tops with your egg mix.
17. Bake for 25-30 minutes until the crust is golden and the filling is bubbling. (Note: I found it quite helpful to pace around the kitchen while waiting. By 8 am, I had already logged over a mile in my kitchen alone.)
18. Somehow manage not to trip over the stairs or your dog and successfully carry the secretly purchased breakfast tray and its contents to your sleeping future Mrs..
19. Live happily ever after.

A Pictorial Proposal History

I had some painstaking choices to make. This proposal needed perfection and my lattice skills were not on point.

Oh no, the cappuccino foam was super flat! Proposal ruined!!!!

Luckily, I had two secret weapons in the book and the ring.

At last, a use for the My Mess Their Kitchen Game!

I'm sure Robin greatly appreciated not having to get out of bed for any of this.

Of course she said yes after those delicious pies. 

Maggie was especially thrilled that her parents were finally getting married (or maybe that there was food in the bed. We'll never know.)

My breakfast in bed proposal was a resounding success that will surely be spoken of for generations to come (I'm currently preparing the version I will tell as a crazy old man in front of a fireplace surrounded by our grandchildren during the holidays). The mini pies were just as delicious and even more whimsical than the first time we made the full-sized version, but, most importantly, she said yes! I drove myself crazy trying to figure out how to propose, but really all I had to do was pick something decidedly us. Unfortunately, proposing early in bed while living on the East Coast, meant we had to wait a while before we could spread the wonderful news, but we had some truly delightful cherry pies to keep us busy until then. 

Jalapeño Parmesan Sriracha Biscuits

Following the unprecedented run of deliciousness seen from Hummingbird Cupcakes to 3 kinds of Wookie Pies, the blog took a much needed vacation to Hawaii to show off the fantastic swimsuit bod afforded by the aforementioned dessert successes. Now, with a week to recover from too much sun, beautiful sights, and piña coladas, it was time to ease back into the kitchen while working on the more savory side of things with some spicy breakfast biscuits.

Jalapeño Parmesan Sriracha Biscuits
Adapted from All Recipes
Servings: 8-10 biscuits
Time: 30 minutes

By far the classiest thing we've used our wine glasses for

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp granulated sugar
1/3 cup shortening
1 cup milk
1/4-1/2 cup pickled jalapeños, chopped
1/2 cup parmesan cheese, shredded (but you could use cheddar)
1-2 generous squirts of sriracha
Honey butter

At this point, I was already ridiculously excited.

1. Preheat your oven to 425 F.
2. Whisk the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar together in a large bowl.
3. Cut the shortening in until the mix resembles coarse meal. 
4. Stir in the milk gradually until the dough pulls away from the side of the bowl and a workable dough forms. You can add excess flour 1 tbsp at a time if you overdo it on the milk.
5. Stir in the jalapeños, cheese, and Sriracha.
6. Knead the dough ~10 times (don't overhandle it) on a lightly floured surface.
7. Roll or pat the dough out to about 1/2" to 1" thick. Cut with a large cutter or glass dipped in flour.
8. Place on an ungreased baking sheet, and bake for 13-15 minutes until the edges start to brown.
9. Brush with honey butter then let cool.

Every morning should start like this (and by morning I mean afternoon, because holiday)

These biscuits were everything I was hoping for to kick off my lazy Memorial Day. The jalapeño and Sriracha brought great spice and flavor that went marvelously with our leftover BBQ, while the cheese and honey butter made every bite melt in your mouth smooth. These biscuits had fantastic crispy tops surrounding fluffy perfect insides. My only regret was having to use parmesan instead of cheddar since our fridge was sadly lacking, but it was a small sacrifice to make for not having to change out of my pajama pants and leave the house. Thanks to the success of my first biscuit attempt, I would love to experiment more with culinary variables like butter and buttermilk (really anything with butter in it) in my never-ending quest to build the perfect breakfast.

Delicious BBQ sold separately (courtesy of Smoky Oak Taproom)

Slow-Cooker Short Rib Hash

Being on a job hunt presents quite the interesting dichotomy between the lives of the two human residents of my Charleston home (the pets mostly follow the same lead and nap in sunbeams or, in Swarley's case, cabinets). Robin has been on a particularly brutal series of rotations involving both nights and 24 hour calls, while I have had to make such difficult life or death decisions like which pair of pajama pants I should wear and what show I should binge watch on Netflix. I'm pretty sure I can now fully communicate in animal talk, but I'm not certain if I know how to speak to people anymore.

Following one of Robin's 24 hour shifts, I decided to welcome her home with a fancy meal. This slow cooker short rib hash was perfect, as I could let it cook overnight while I slept and then just sautéed all the veggies as it got closer to Robin's return.

Short Rib Hash
Adapted from Seriously Delish by Jessica Merchant
Servings: 4-6
Time: 8 hours

Soon you will be shredded

Short Ribs
2 1/2 lbs beef short ribs
Salt
Pepper
Garlic Powder
Onion Powder
Canola Oil
1-2 cups Beef Stock
Juice of 1 lime
Sriracha
5 dashes Worcestershire sauce

Hash
4 slices bacon, chopped
1 yellow onion, diced
1 green bell pepper, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
3-4 Yukon gold potatoes, chopped small
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
Red chili flakes to taste
Oregano to taste
Eggs (1 per serving) fried or poached
Sriracha to garnish

Cut the potatoes even smaller or this will take forever

1. Season the short ribs with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder. 
2. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Brown the short ribs in the oil (~ 2 minutes per side).
3. Put the ribs in a slow cooker. Add enough beef stock to cover. Then mix in the sriracha, Worcestershire sauce, and lime juice. Cook on low for 8 hours, turning once.
4. Remove the ribs and shred once cool. Reserve the juice.
5. Cook the bacon in a large skillet until crispy. Set the bacon aside on a plate lined with paper towels, but reserve the oil.
6. Sauté the onion and bell pepper in the bacon fat until the onions are soft and translucent (~ 6 minutes).
7. Add the potatoes, garlic, and seasonings. Toss to coat well with the oil then cook covered for 10 minutes until the potatoes are crispy and tender.
8. Return the bacon and short ribs to the skillet along with some of the reserved juice. Let heat up over low heat.
9. Fry or poach your eggs depending on how fancy you want to be.
10. Serve the hash topped with an egg and sriracha.

A piece fell on the ground during shredding, giving Maggie the greatest moment of her life (until she discovered a bag of cookies several weeks later)

This hash was perfect for sending Robin to much deserved slumber. The hearty meal was highlighted by the absolutely delectable, mouth-wateringly good short ribs, and the rich gooey egg yolk brought it to near sinful breakfast levels (seriously I'm pretty sure nothing should be this enjoyable before 8 am). My only regret was being too lazy to poach the eggs, as that would have been far prettier and achieved even higher levels of fancitude.

The less photogenic the hash is the tastier it will be.

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Spice Cheesecake Muffins

Today's edition of the Crystal Balls VI League's weekly meeting of grown men yelling at multiple TVs while incessantly checking their fantasy teams on their phone was sponsored by the always wonderful hosts Danielle and Marshall. Instead of the normal theme of meat and beer, they decided to class things up with a brunch theme complete with mimosas and absurdly decadent creme brulee French toast. For my contribution, I thought I'd show my appreciation to host Danielle and her gluten allergy by stepping up my baking game and braving the world of gluten-free cooking.

Would my gluten-free Pumpkin Spice Cheesecake muffins hit the spot, or would brunch be ruined forever?

Pumpkin Spice Cheesecake Muffins
Adapted from Sally's Baking Addiction
Servings: 12 muffins
Time: 60 minutes + cooling

Crumb goop!

Crumble Topping
1/4 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup gluten-free all-purpose flour (I used Bob's Red Mill)
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted

Pumpkin Spice Cheesecake Muffins
1 3/4 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Spiced!

1/2 cup dark brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 cup pumpkin puree
1/2 cup canola oil
1/3 cup milk
1 tbsp vanilla extract

Cheesecake Filling
8 oz cream cheese, softened to room temp.
1 egg yolk
2 tsp vanilla extract
3 tbsp granulated sugar

1. Preheat the oven to 425 F. Line a muffin tin.
2. Make the crumble by mixing the brown sugar, flour, and cinnamon together. Then stir in the melted butter until crumbs form (Note: mine just kind of turned into super wet dough, making me wonder if gluten-free flour isn't up to this task. But, it's still butter and sugar, so it can only add flavor). Set aside.
3. Make the pumpkin muffins. Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and pumpkin pie spice together in a large bowl.
4. Whisk the brown sugar and eggs together until smooth. Mix in the pumpkin puree, oil, milk, and vanilla until well combined.
5. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ones and whisk until just combined.
6. Make the cream cheese filling by beating the cream-cheese in an electric mixer until smooth. Add in the egg yolk, vanilla extract and sugar until well combined.
7. Layer the muffin and cheesecake as such: 1 tbsp muffin batter-> ~1/2-3/4 tbsp cream cheese filling-> 1 tbsp muffin batter. Note: this will fill up the muffin tins to very close to the top, which you want in this case. Top with the crumble.
8. Bake for 5 minutes at 425 F. Lower the temperature to 350 (keeping the muffins in) and bake for an additional 12-15 minutes or until the toothpick test comes out clean (or nearly clean as you might get some melty cream cheese).
9. Let the muffins cool in their tin for 10 minutes then transfer to wire racks and finish cooling.
10. Enjoy autumn in style.

Note: one person would attempt to put the Whataburger Honey Butter on top of the muffins because Texas!

These muffins hit all the right autumnal notes I was looking for. The incredibly moist cake had just the right, powerful amount of pumpkin and spice to make you think you were having your favorite fall Starbucks treat, while the layer of cheesecake added a velvety richness making these worthy of even the most critical brunch-goer's Sunday Funday. My only complaint was that the crumble didn't really live up to its name, but, hey, added butter and sugar never hurt anyone.... The muffins were a huge hit, and I managed to not cross-contaminate them in my gluten-bomb of a kitchen meaning Danielle and her equally gluten-averse sister (now that's good genes!) were able to enjoy them. Now that I've recovered from the most wonderful of full belly lazy Sunday afternoon naps, I'm just hoping I can get my hands on that creme brulee French toast recipe.

Danielle was very relieved that these muffins were gluten-free and that she had just gotten a fresh manicure.

Pumpkinocalypse 2013: The Bakering: Pumpkin Chai Muffins

Muffin Mondays used to be a cherished part of my work week because I got to eat healthy fake cupcakes while letting staff meeting fade away to the background of non-tasty noise. Due to some sort of weird plague or other act of god, my grocery store was all out of pumpkin on Sunday forcing me to postpone Pumpkinocalypse (and thus Muffin Monday) to Tuesday. I had come too far (and purchased all of the other necessary ingredients) to let that stop me. I would combine my two favorite lattes into one delicious (and way less fattening than a latte) muffin- the fabled Pumpkin Chai!

Pumpkin Chai Muffins
Adapted from Squidoo
Servings: 24 muffins
Time: 35 minutes

Now how do I froth it?

4 cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
4 tsp baking poder
2 tsp ground cloves
2 tsp ground cinnamon
2 tsp allspice
2 tsp cardamom
2 tsp ground ginger
1 1/2 tsp orange zest
1/2 tsp white pepper
4 tbsp instant tea powder (unsweetened)
1 cup butter
1 cup vanilla yogurt
2 tsp vanilla
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups pureed pumpkin
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cloves, cinnamon, allspice, cardamom, ginger, orange zest, white pepper and instant tea together in a large bowl. Set aside.
3. Melt the butter and let cool.
4. Beat the vanilla yogurt, vanilla, eggs, pumpkin and sugar in with the melted butter until smooth.
5. Gradually mix in the dry ingredients using a stand mixer at low speed until just incorporated (be careful not to overmix).
6. Fill lined muffin tins 2/3 full with batter.
7. Bake for 15-18 minutes or until the toothpick test comes back clean.
8. Remove the muffins from the tin and let cool on wire racks. 
9. Eat with a very mellow, low on flavor drink to counteract being bombarded by amazing spices.

Must resist the urge to frost... Slowly get back into baking..

Now these muffins packed a powerful punch. Whereas my earlier Pumpkin Cookie Cake truly highlighted all that is good and pumpkin in the world, these muffins brought forth a whole lot of spicy punch. This felt like autumn in convenient bite-sized form. All the fantastic chai spices really hit you with a gentle backing from the moist pumpkin and an intriguing finish from the white pepper (seriously, the white pepper seems out of place, but it's awesome). I definitely recommend a nice glass of silk to balance out this super breakfast.

After making these delightfully tasty treats, I did think of a few possible ways to improve them (aside from saying "healthiness be damned" and making them a cupcake). Adding walnuts or golden raisins could definitely add another dimension and some texture to these. Similarly, the pop of biting into freshly chopped ginger would also help elevate things to a whole new level.

Oh, that's right. I forgot all this baking makes my kitchen really messy. Oh, well. That sounds like a problem for future Terry. He's a sucker.

It felt great to be back to destroying my kitchen (it really was freaky seeing it so clean). Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go feverishly apologize to my stand mixer for our rough patch.

Muffin Mondays: Dark Chocolate Cherry Muffins

Recently, I began celebrating the soon to be worldwide holiday known as Muffin Mondays. Delusions of grandeur filled my head as I decided to embark on a journey of two delicious muffiny treats to great my coworkers in the morning.  Unfortunately, my strawberry rhubarb yogurt muffins turned in to an unmitigated disaster, but, then, as if smiled upon by the baking gods, a Muffin Monday Miracle occurred. My Dark Chocolate Cherry Muffin recipe which was supposed to yield 2 dozen muffins entered some weird wormhole and produced 48 delicious breakfasty treats (I may have been a little suspicious given the insane amount of flour it called for, but I wasn't about to let something like math or numbers stop me!).

Screw you, strawberry rhubarb suckins!

Dark Chocolate Cherry Muffins
Adapted from All Recipes
Servings: 24 muffins (adjusted to actually be 24)
Time: 40+ minutes (how fast can you chop cherries?)

This might take a while...

2 1/3 cups  all-purpose flour
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp almond extract
1 1/2 cups fresh dark cherries, pitted and chopped
1 cup dark chocolate chips
Sliced almonds (optional)

Chocolate and fruit, what a novel idea that has certainly never been tried before!

1. Attempt to make strawberry rhubarb muffins. Fail miserably.
2. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
3. Whisk the flour, sugar, cooca powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt together in a large bowl.
4. Mix the sour cream, milk, vegetable oil, eggs and almond extract in a bowl until well blended.
5. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir until just incorporated.
6. Fold the cherries and dark chocolate chips into the batter.
7. Fill lined muffin tins 1/2- 2/3 full. Sprinkle on almond slices if desired.
8. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until the toothpick test comes back clean (beware of false negatives from the melted chocolate chips).
9. Let the tins cool on wire racks for 5 minutes. Then remove the muffins and allow them to finish cooling on the racks.
10. Realize the second type of muffin isn't necessary because these are absurdly awesome.

Souped up almond model. Now if I can just figure out where the NOS goes...

Normally, I don't go for chocolate muffins (chocolate is for my unhealthy lattes and not my fruit-filled morning treats), so these combo fruit/chocolate muffins were the perfect way to help me ease into an exciting and scary new lifestyle. These were vaguely reminiscent of chocolate liqueur cherries thanks to the almond extract, but the real heart of this breakfast was the abundance of juicy cherries intermingling with the decadent dark chocolate that made all that chopping worth it. Venturing away from my normal muffin comfort zone proved to be the right choice, as these may have been the most deserving entry to Muffin Mondays yet.

The inner workings of a muffin are almost as complicated as those of the human body (at least I imagine mine is filled with chocolate and fruit).

Muffin Mondays: Lemon Ricotta Blackberry Muffins

Sunday was a day of marathons. Following The Office finale, I began a binge watching session of it on Netflix. It only seemed right to pair this with my favorite and most edible type of marathon- the bake-athon. A trifecta of treats was in order to provide my coworkers with delicious morsels to make it through our Monday meeting and to send Robin a proper care package (and inspiration for future baking/ bakery endeavors). Since I had to devote proper attention to my television duties (especially if I was going to make it through season 2), I decided that a combination of easy to make cookies and muffins would be the best route.

Lemon Ricotta Blackberry Muffins
Adapted from Two Peas and Their Pod
Time: 40 minutes
Servings: 24 muffins

Ridiculously thick batter

4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups granulated sugar
Zest of 4 lemons
1 cup unsalted butter, room temp
2 cups ricotta cheese
2 large eggs
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups blackberries
Sugar plus lemon zest for topping

I only broke half of the blackberries trying to get them into the batter, a new record!

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt together in a large bowl. Set aside.
3. Mix the sugar and lemon zest together then cream them with the butter using a stand mixer until light and fluffy.
4. Add in the ricotta cheese and mix until smooth.
5. Stir in the egg, lemon juice and vanilla extract.
6. Gradually add in the dry ingredients until just blended.
7. Fill lined muffin tins halfway with batter. 
8. Place at least 3 blackberries into the batter (try to get it down in there without crushing the blackberries, which will be tricky since this is one thick batter).
9. Realize you snacked on the remaining blackberries, forcing you to stop at 3 berries per muffin.
10. Sprinkle the topping on each muffin.
11. Bake for 18-24 minutes until the tops slightly brown and the toothpick test comes back clean.
12. Cool the muffins on wire racks.

Sadly, all the blackberries rose to the top, leaving only delicious ricotta lemony bottoms.

Blackberries, while the most delicious of all berries, are also the most neglected when it comes to baking.  I decided I must remedy this post haste. I also wanted to keep up the delightfully refreshing citrusy theme of last week's Grapefruit Buttermilk Muffins, so these lemon ricotta blackberry muffins seemed perfect (and provided yet another opportunity to test my "cheese makes everything better" hypothesis).

Initial batter taste tests had me a little concerned due to their ricotta influenced thick texture, but these fears were quickly assuaged upon tasting the finished product. These muffins hit you with wonderful juicy blackberries, a refreshing lemon backend and an intriguingly awesome hint of cheesecake all wrapped up in one surprisingly moist package. Hopefully, the rousing success of these muffins will help catapult blackberries to their proper place in baking lore.

My table passed initial baking stress tests.

Stay tuned for the ensuing cookie mayhem featuring Reese's Pieces Cookies and Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Raisin Cookies.

Grapefruit Buttermilk Muffins

Turns out getting half a grapefruit to stand up and not look funny is quite difficult (especially when it was zested)

Grapefruit has been something that I have kind of always despised due to engrained hatred from my childhood following the tragic destruction of my village by renegade grapefruit rolling down the mountainside (or the fact I found them kind of super bitter for an overgrown, brightly colored orange). Recently, however, I have started to appreciate them thanks to their risotto flavoring abilities and the general awesomeness that is Shiner's Ruby Redbird summer seasonal. After seeing some particularly tasty looking ones at the farmer's market, I decided to find a way to incorporate them into some sort of baked good for my inaugural voyage with my apartment's oven.

Stop trying to fool us, fake oranges!

Grapefruit Muffins

Adapted from The Daring Gourmet

Time: 40 minutes

Servings: 24 muffins

Proceed to eating now!

1 cup butter, room temp

2 cups sugar

4 large eggs, separated

1 1/2 cups buttermilk

Grated zest of 2 grapefruits 

1 cup freshly squeezed grapefruit juice

1 tbsp vanilla extract

4 cups all-purpose flour

1 tbsp baking powder

2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

4 tsp grapefruit zest + 1/2 cup sugar for topping

Avoid drinking the batter because there's really nothing more embarrassing than an egg white mustache

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. Cream the butter and sugar together in a mixer until light and fluffy.
3. Add in the egg yolks one at a time and beat until well mixed.
4. Mix in the grapefruit juice, zest and vanilla until combined. Note this will probably look pretty gross, but flour will fix this.
5. Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt together in a large bowl.
6. Alternate adding the flour mixture and buttermilk to the grapefruit mix. Be careful not to overmix.
7. Take some time to shovel 1-50 spoonfuls of the world's most delicious batter. 
8. Stop yourself when you remember you promised people muffins.
9. Beat the egg whites into soft peaks. Fold them into the batter with a rubber spatula.
10. Fill lined or greased muffin tins 2/3-3/4 of the way full with batter.
11. Make the topping by stirring the grapefruit zest and sugar together.
12. Generously sprinkle the topping on to each cupcake muffin.
13. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until the toothpick test comes back clean.
14. Let the muffin tins cool on a wire rack for five minutes then remove the muffins to allow cooling to finish.

This is not nearly enough sugary, grapefruity topping.

Normally, I rush right in to talking about the delicious baked goods I have just eaten ungodly amounts of while reassuring myself that it was for my blog to avoid the shame and night crying. Today, I find myself needing to devote some time to talking about the batter. Following the magical batter tasting (which I'm pretty sure was scored to "Take My Breath Away"), I found myself not content with a single tasting. Rather, I had to ensure that the stand mixer paddle attachment was completely clean (so it wouldn't mess up the dishwasher...). Prior to adding the egg whites (because that looks far less appetizing for tasting), this might have been the greatest batter I ever tasted thanks to the incredibly powerful and refreshing grapefruit punch. This base definitely needs to be incorporated in future treats.

Now to figure out a grapefruit icing because, let's not kid ourselves, this is essentially a cupcake

The end result was a fantastic citrusy breakfast muffin with a delightful cakeyness. Sadly, some of that great grapefruit power was weakened post baking, but that didn't stop these fresh treats from being devoured faster than any of my baking that I've ever brought to work. Fortunately, this can be easily remedied by buying extra grapefruit for zesting, so you can properly encase the tops in a sugary grave. 

The Scientific Dynamics of Muffin Topography in Greased vs. Lined Systems

T. Kennair, Science (awaiting acceptance and for the editor to stop laughing)

These muffins not only tasted amazing, but they also provided an important lesson in the baked sciences. I've had issues with muffins getting stuck to baking tins before, so I decided to fill half of them with liners in case thing went awry (plus, I still had some pretty sweet heart decorated cupcake liners from Valentine's Day). The naked muffins produced more of a traditional muffin top, while the lined ones were more of a super flabby love handle. Despite their physical shortcomings, the vertically challenged variety won the taste contest by proving more moist. 

Stay tuned as I contemplate how long I can go without posting following 3 entries in half a week (and as I regret forgetting to take out the trash from baking prior to leaving for three days)!