Engagement Mini Cherry Pies

Life has many milestones. From graduating college and grad school to baking my first cupcake to buying a dog, I had hit most of the important ones. But the biggie still remained. Following a year dating in college, the better part of a decade remaining really close friends, over two years of being back together, and moving halfway across the country to start a life together, it was time to make things with Robin super official.

After 10 years, these thought bubbles still hold (fortunately, my predilection for Lincoln beards does not).

With Robin's family medicine residency now over and her about to begin her new job as a full fledged smarty-pants Doctor, the timing seemed perfect to embark on the next phase of our relationship. Over the last ten years, I've been amazed watching her grow from a Freshman in college to the accomplished woman she is today, and I couldn't be prouder. In order to properly kick-off this momentous occasion in our lives, I decided to reimagine our first time baking together during our wonderfully awkward flirty but not together period circa 2011.

Would my cupcakey ode to our Cherry Pie of long ago be enough to convince her to spend the rest of her life with me, or did I totally misread this whole living together thing?

Engagement Mini Cherry Pies
Adapted from Table Spoon and Food Network

Delicious, if not overly romantic filling.

Servings: 12 mini pies
Time: 90 minutes

4 Pillsbury Refrigerated Pie Crusts
2 cups tart cherries
2 1/2 cups dark sweet cherries
1 cup granulated sugar
4 tbsp cornstarch
3/8 tsp-1/2 tsp pure almond extract
1 egg, whisked

I was going to prove myself to be a worthy homemaker, if it was the last thing I did!

1. Spend ten years being best friends with the awesomest, smartest girl around.
2. Realize that savings accounts are for losers, and buy a ring.
3. Freak out about how you're going to propose and almost ruin it until your sister calms you down and talks sense into you.
4. Look back on your fond memories of your first time baking together with your love.
5. Wait for her to go to work then try to make as little mess as possible in the kitchen for once.
6. Heat the cherries in a covered medium saucepan over medium-low heat until a fair amount of juice forms (about 5 minutes).
7. Sift the cornstarch and sugar together. Then stir it into the mix until well incorporated. 
8. Mix in the almond extract and continue cooking until it thickens, stirring frequently.
9. If it gets too thick, add small amounts of water. If it won't thicken up, add small amounts of cornstarch.
10. Let cool to room temp (or hide in the back of the fridge until she goes to sleep).
11. Wake up super early, but, whatever. It's not like you really slept much anyway.
12. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
13. Roll out the pie crusts and cut out twelve 4" discs. Press the discs into greased muffin tins so that they are just sticking out.
14. Fill each almost completely with your cherry mixture. 
15. Cut 6 thin strips to from the lattice of each pie and weave delicately. Press the ends of the lattice into the main crust to bring the two together. Marvel at how truly bad your lattice making abilities are, and make a heart-shaped one just in case.
16. Brush the tops with your egg mix.
17. Bake for 25-30 minutes until the crust is golden and the filling is bubbling. (Note: I found it quite helpful to pace around the kitchen while waiting. By 8 am, I had already logged over a mile in my kitchen alone.)
18. Somehow manage not to trip over the stairs or your dog and successfully carry the secretly purchased breakfast tray and its contents to your sleeping future Mrs..
19. Live happily ever after.

A Pictorial Proposal History

I had some painstaking choices to make. This proposal needed perfection and my lattice skills were not on point.

Oh no, the cappuccino foam was super flat! Proposal ruined!!!!

Luckily, I had two secret weapons in the book and the ring.

At last, a use for the My Mess Their Kitchen Game!

I'm sure Robin greatly appreciated not having to get out of bed for any of this.

Of course she said yes after those delicious pies. 

Maggie was especially thrilled that her parents were finally getting married (or maybe that there was food in the bed. We'll never know.)

My breakfast in bed proposal was a resounding success that will surely be spoken of for generations to come (I'm currently preparing the version I will tell as a crazy old man in front of a fireplace surrounded by our grandchildren during the holidays). The mini pies were just as delicious and even more whimsical than the first time we made the full-sized version, but, most importantly, she said yes! I drove myself crazy trying to figure out how to propose, but really all I had to do was pick something decidedly us. Unfortunately, proposing early in bed while living on the East Coast, meant we had to wait a while before we could spread the wonderful news, but we had some truly delightful cherry pies to keep us busy until then. 

Here's to Leslie Knope: Funfetti and Chocolate Waffles

For the past seven years, Parks and Rec has provided countless half hours of pure joy. More so than any show on television, it was about hope and never left you without smile on your face the size of Lil' Sebastian. From Duke Silver to Bert Macklin to Jean-Ralphio, Parks always found a ridiculous way to make us laugh. When it came time to both celebrate fellow Parks fanatic (and award winning shortbread decorator) Kathryn's birthday as well as watch the finale, we knew what we had to do (sorry, Ben, but calzones just aren't dessert food). The result was an amazingly delicious night of birthday waffles that would have made the world's greatest fake public servant, Leslie Knope, proud.

For the life of me, I will never understand why Jerry Terry Garry looks so sad here.

Funfetti Waffles
Adapted from Celebrations.com
Time: 20 minutes
Servings: 3-4 large waffles

Now you have to decide if it goes in a cake pan or a waffle iron

Waffles
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup Funfetti Cake mix
3 tbsp baking powder
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp  salt
1 1/4 cups milk
1 egg
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
Colorful sprinkles to your heart's content

Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
4 tbsp Funfetti Cake mix
4 tbsp milk
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
Even more colorful sprinkles, preferably shaped like dinosaurs

1. Preheat your oven to 200 F.
2. Whisk the flour, cake mix, baking powder, sugar, and salt together in a medium bowl. 
3. Make a well and add in the eggs, milk, olive oil, and vanilla extract. 
4. Whisk together until a thick batter forms. 
5. Stir in extra sprinkles to make it more colorful.
6. Add ~ 1/3 of the mix to a hot waffle iron coated with cooking spray and cook until the waffle is easily removed (typically ~3-5 minutes). Keep waffles warm in the oven after they're done.
7. Make the glaze by whisking all the ingredients together in a bowl. Change it to your desired consistency by adding milk or powdered sugar. The current recipe is on the thick side.
8. Prove to the world that bringing your sprinkles with you during your move was the best choice ever and decorate the hell out of some waffles.

Layer upon layer of sugar the way god intended. 

Of our two waffles, I think these were the most up Leslie's alley. It's a waffle made of cake! The funfetti taste (and of course fun) really came through in this unique sugar bomb that held the distinction of being the birthday girl's favorite. Plus it finally gave me a chance to prove to Robin that bringing all of my sprinkles with me during the move was not in fact insane (dinosaur sprinkles all the way!). My only regret was that we have a thinner waffle maker and these would have been even more caketastic in larger, Belgium Waffle form.

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Waffles
Adapted from Alton Brown
Time: 20 minutes
Servings: 6-8 large waffles

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3 tbsp sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
3 eggs at room temp, beaten
2 oz unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
16 oz buttermilk, room temp
Milk chocolate chips
Whipped cream
Raspberries

1. Preheat your oven to 200 F.
2. Whisk the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt, and baking soda together in a large bowl.
3. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs, melted (and cooled) butter, vanilla, and buttermilk together. Make sure to have these near room temp, or your batter may take on a weird consistency.
4. Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients and whisk well.
5. Stir in the chocolate chips.
6. Ladle the desired amount into the waffle iron and let cook until finished (typically around 3-5 minutes). Keep waffles warm in the oven until finished.
7. Apply a small, yet pretty amount of whipped cream and raspberries for the picture. Immediately add a Leslie Knope-ian amount once said pictures are taken.

Picture showcases ~1/10 of the final amount of whipped cream used while eating.

For Robin and I, these chocolate waffles won the night. The perfect amount of chocolate soothed us while we said goodbye to our favorite show, but it also allowed us to have tons of fun with a can of whipped cream while we made sure each bite of waffle was properly covered (and then washed them down with some straight from the source). These were great for the size/texture that our waffle maker produces, and they blew away my previous attempt at chocolate waffles.

Parks taught us many important life lessons like the love of breakfast foods

These waffles provided us with a proper sendoff for our most beloved Parks crew, while they in turn gave us one of the most brilliant and rewarding finales ever. I thought I was going to be sad to see my tv friends go, but I was too busy being excited and smiling yet again while watching their pitch perfect futures. Goodbye, Pawnee, and thanks for everything!

I now leave you with the immortal wisdom of Leslie Knope.

"We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third."

Sriracha Cookies aka The Hot Robin

Sometimes you get an idea that's just crazy enough to work. Fortunately, I had plenty of crazy to turn into culinary thoughts thanks to spending far too much time surrounded by only animals during the current job hunt. I had previously made the already insane Robin cookies (they're curry, cardamom, and cinnamon based, how does that even work as a dessert?) once back in Houston, but their inspiration was not able to enjoy them. As a result, it only seemed right to finally make some for her in her night shift care package (see Chicken Fideo Soup). But I would not be satisfied with simply repeating myself. No, I would make them even more ridiculous than ever by adding the next most ludicrous cookie component I could think of, the spice of the gods known as Sriracha, to complete my Frankensteinian quest and breathe life into THE HOT ROBIN!

The Hot Robin
Modified from The Spice House and My Original Robin Cookie the Triple C
Servings: 36-48 cookies
Time: 30 minutes (+ 4 hours resting)

The batter should provide a nice tingle when tried

1 cup butter, softened
2 cups brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp curry powder
1/2-1 tsp ground cardamom
1/2-1 tsp cinnamon
Sriracha to taste
1 cup salted, roasted pecans, chopped

1. Get really bored during your search for a job while waiting for your significant other to return home and allow your Netflix binging to continue.
2. Cream the butter and brown sugar together.
3. Beat in the eggs and vanilla until thoroughly incorporated.
4. Whisk the dry ingredients together in a separate bowl then add in multiple increments until smooth. 
5. Stir in the pecans.
6. Get brave and decide to put sriracha in a batch because surely this can't be the craziest thing you've ever done. This makes 4 batches of cookies, so I'd suggest reserving at least half to give you the full experience of sriracha vs. sriracha-free. You want to add enough to give a light red tint to the dough. Fortunately, cookie dough is fun to eat and delicious, so do a taste test before proceeding.
7. Wrap each batch in saran wrap and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.
8. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
9. Slice the dough into the desired size cookies (around 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick) and place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
10. Bake for 12-14 minutes or until golden.
11. Let cool on the baking sheets for 2 minutes then transfer to wire racks to finish.
12. Enjoy comparing both equally delicious versions of The Robin.

You can practically see the spice waiting to be devoured

Sure there may have been 3 batches of standard Robin cookies to ensure our sweet-tooths would not be disappointed, but I was, nevertheless, still worried about the outcome. I needed this win, and I got it. The Hot Robin was a tremendous success! Just like it would have in an actual meal, the sriracha worked beautiful magic with the curry and cardamom to enhance the already unique experience. Reminiscent of my Fiery Red Hot Red Velvet Cupcakes, the cookies featured a fantastic tingly hit of spice on the backend without being overwhelmed by it yielding a cookie worthy of its namesake. For best results, pair with tea and a good book.

Or if you're not quite adventurous enough, you could try the standard, less colorful but equally delightful Robin cookie.

Happy 6 Month Puppyversary: The Mag Pie

Six months ago, Robin and I made what is quite possibly the best choice we have ever made (yes, maybe even better than moving to Charleston)- we decided to get a dog. Having never owned a pet growing up (aside from a far less demanding turtle), Robin has made it her life's mission to remedy this now that she has her own oasis to call home. During medical school, she stuck to the lower maintenance feline variety of pets (the ruler of our kingdom, Swarley, and the shy but lovable Abby), but it was now time to add a more adventurous and demanding best friend to our family. As the petfinder emails exponentially increased in frequency, I knew there was no more waiting. It was time to buy a dog.

Our first encounter with Maggie. It was clear from the start that she was the one for us.

Maggie May was the first dog we met, and we instantly loved her. She was a calm, friendly dog, who could oddly displace her hips whenever she wanted to lay down. Following a walk around and checking out one other dog who sadly never stood a chance, she was ours. Over the last 6 months we have been endlessly amused watching wiggle-butt learn how to be a dog including understanding what a toy is, barking, chasing cats, burying bones, and endlessly begging for food. With Robin about to start nights and Maggie's 6 month adoption anniversary upon us, we decided to celebrate with a dog-centric day including a trip to the beach and Maggie's first pie (the ultimate sign of love between Robin and I).

Maggie enjoying quality backyard time

The Mag Pie
Adapted from The Three Dog Bakery Cookbook
Time: 30 minutes + time to set
Servings: 1 pie

Our most beautiful crust ever...

Crust
1 1/2 cups white flour
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
4-5 tbsp cold water

Filling
3 tbsp white flour
1/2 cup honey
2 cups skim milk
4 egg yolks
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 banana

Even Swarley decided to help out.

1. Buy a puppy. Wait 6 months.
2. Preheat the oven to 450 F.
3. Make the crust by cutting the shortening into the flour until it is the size of peas.  Add water 1 tbsp at a time until you get a workable ball.
4. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface then assemble it in a pie plate.
5. Bake for 10-12 minutes until golden. Let cool.
6. Make the filling by blending the flour, honey, milk, egg yolks, peanut butter, and banana together in a blender until smooth.
7. Pour the filling into a large saucepan and cook over medium until it begins to thicken. Let cool and pour over the crust. Refrigerate for at least an hour to let it set.
8. Prepare for never-ending grateful dog kisses.

The finished product, but who are we kidding, you're not reading this post to see pictures of food.

Initially, this recipe oddly called for parsley. Since Robin and I were fully intending to partake in the doggy desserty goodness, this was not gonna fly. Instead, we added peanut butter's natural friend the banana, and got a pie fit for human consumption. We enjoyed our doggie pie, but nowhere near as much as Maggie did. She scarfed up her slice in about 2 milliseconds then pushed her plate across the floor making sure she licked each and every last crumb off (this would become a recurring theme as she would spend the next several days pushing said plate toward me asking for more delicious pie). Finally, she helped herself to the remaining scraps on our plates before a well earned nap. I am pretty sure she's now convinced that lunch pie is a thing that's supposed to happen every day, but it was worth it to spoil her for all the joy she's brought these last few months (even if she does insist that my side of the bed is her spot).

Maggie's Day of Fun

Our pre-pie workout on the beach. Judging by how my feet aren't even touching the ground, it is clear that I am the alpha in this relationship.

Having fun running free

Getting her palate ready for the pie goodness to come

Maggie waiting in anticipation of her pie. Her tail may have broken the sound barrier.

She insisted on cleaning our plates for us as well. She's such a helpful dog.

Chocolate Chai Chess Pie

Our goal...

After an almost two year hiatus, the crazy pie train finally rides again! This time we’ve gone all the way to the east coast to break in our shiny new kitchen. And in honor of this momentous occasion, Terry has finally let me be a guest poster!

In my ongoing attempt to convince Terry that Charleston is the best city in the world and he should move here immediately, I knew that we should go with a Southern staple—chess pie. Our brand new house obviously deserved its own brand new pie book, so I bought Allison Kave’s First Prize Pies. Rather than a basic buttermilk or lemon chess pie, we decided to go with her chai chess pie (in honor of my brownness). We also went with the chocolate pie crust to complement the spiced filling.

Look at the awesome island we get to bake pies on! 

Chocolate Crust 

Servings: 1 double-crust 9" pie

1/2 cup whole milk
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
12 oz. all-purpose flour (chilled)
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter
1/4 cup rendered leaf lard (or additional butter)

1. Stir together vinegar and milk and refrigerate until ready to use
2.  On a clean flat surface (such as your new granite island!) or a shallow bowl, stir together flour, cocoa, sugar, and salt
3. Add butter (and lard if using) to the dry ingredients and cut the fat into the flour until the mixture has been reduced to pea-sized chunks
4. Spread the mixture out to expose as much surface area as possible, and drizzle half of the milk mixture over the flour
5.  Lightly toss the flour over the liquid, and then spread mixture out and repeat with remaining milk
6.  Cover dough tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate it for at least 1 hour

Not the prettiest crust, but it does the job

Your goal is to have dough that will just hold together when pressed against the side of a bowl. We needed to add a few more splashes of milk to get the correct consistency. We’re also terrible at reading directions, and were confused when we had enough dough for two pies…

Filling

Ground spices 

Servings: 1- 9" pie

4 large eggs
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup chai tea mixture (we used tea powder, cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, allspice, orange peel and white pepper)
2 tbsp unbleached all-purpose flour
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1/4 tsp salt

1. Preheat the oven to 425°
2. Roll out the dough into a circle about 11cm in diameter and transfer it to a 9-in pie pan (or smush the dough into the pan with your fingers like an adult)
3. Blind bake the crust for 20 min until partially baked then let cool. Turn the oven down to 350°
4. Whisk the eggs and sugar together until light and fluffy
5. Whisk in the tea mixture, flour, butter, and salt
6. Pour the filling into the crust and baked 25-30 min until the filling has just set and is still slightly jiggly in the center
7.  Cool completely before serving.

Action shot 

In our attempts to figure out our new oven’s quirks, we accidentally overbaked the pie and passed the perfect gooey stage. Luckily the center still was the perfect consistency. Even so, the filling was a great spicy improvement on your standard chess pie, and was even better when it was cold. Next time I think I’d switch out the instant ice tea powder for ground black tea leaves to get a stronger tea flavor (though the iced tea was a nice tribute to the southern theme). We also topped our slices with freshly whipped cream, which I highly recommend.

Final product! Somehow it doesn't look like the picture in the book...

This actually ended up being one of our less successful pies. Turns out when you stop baking pies for two years, you forget about the simple things, like covering the outer crust and that pies continue to cook after you take them out of the oven. Luckily our new cookbook has a pie for each week of the year, so we will have plenty of practice ahead! That being said, you can never go too wrong with butter and sugar. Overall this was the perfect way to break in our new house (along with the obligatory champagne and dance party).

Rather than trying to cut slices with a plastic knife, we ate out of the pie plate like the grownups we are