Farewell Cooking Tour: Eggless Snickerdoodle Nutella Cookie Cake

For my final day of work,  I needed to really hit my coworkers hard with the reality that I was leaving. One last time, I was going to have to delight them with my baked goods and really put the pressure on Kristina, the young, up and coming chemist/baker in the office (clearly I started a trend).

Since I had nothing to worry about the night before other than continuing my recent, improved Smash Bros. play, I decided to make two final delectable entries in my quest to cause our company's insurance premiums to go up. After much careful consideration, it was determined that Nutella was going to help me make it extra memorable.

First up was supposed to be my go-to eggless snickerdoodle cookies now filled with Nutella, but fate and my attention span had other plans.

Snickerdoodle Nutella Cookie Cake

Adapted from the Previously Seen Cookie

Servings: 1, 9" round cookie cake

Time: 35 minutes

Nutella Layer!

1 cup butter, softened

1 cup granulated sugar, 

1 cup dark brown sugar

4 tbsp sour cream

4 tbsp milk

2 tbsp vanilla

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

2-3 tsp cinnamon

Nutella (lots)

Cinnamon Sugar combo for dusting

Failing to grease the pan may lead to structural damage 

1. Decide to make Nutella filled snickerdoodles. 
2. Give up after making one batch of cookies because it takes too long.
3. Have a eureka moment where you realize you can just make one giant cookie.
4. Preheat the oven to 325 F.
5. Cream the butter and sugars together in a stand mixer.
6. Mix in the milk, sour cream, and vanilla.
7. Add in the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon until thoroughly incorporated.
8. Spray a 9" round cake pan.
9. Spread half the mixture in a layer in the pan.
10. Add a layer of Nutella.
11. Spread on the remaining mixture for a second layer (try to keep it between 1/2 to 2/3 full).
12. Dust the top with cinnamon and sugar.
13. Bake for 18-24 minutes. This will be tricky to tell because the snickerdoodles will rise up high while in the oven. Following removal, they will drop back down for an extremely dense cake.
14. Let cool. 
15. Frost if this isn't enough of a sugar bomb for you.

The single batch of cookies that were made. They were just as delicious.

The decision to turn this into a cookie cake may have been the greatest decision I ever made at my old company. The Nutella and snickerdoodle combined for an awesome, gooey cinnamon explosion that just might have been the best cookie cake I have ever had (take that mall cookie stands!). The dense (in both weight and flavor) cake provided the perfect change-up from typical dessert fare to really get my final baking adventure off to a killer start. Icing the cake with the leftover frosting from my other dessert may have been overkill, but no one seemed to notice, as the cake was gone before lunchtime.

Frosting- perfect for covering up cookie cake deformities and for that morning pick me up

Stay tuned for the for even more sugary, hazelnutty sweetness with Cafe du Monde Cupcakes.

Cafaux TH: Dessert- Café du Monde Cake

By this point, my picture taking and staging abilities had greatly deteriorated with tiredness and fullness.

Back in the original days of Cafe TH dinner specials before Minh hired a pastry chef, two desserts were frequently rotated in and out- Fried Bananas and Café du Monde Cake. These two brilliantly executed sweet treats actually managed to prove that you can never have too much of a good thing, as we never found ourselves tired of either. When it came time to choose the hammer to our evening of gluttony there was no discussion. Cafe TH's greatest, and longest lived dessert (which just so happened to callback to my New Orleans roots) was the clear choice.

Café du Monde Cake
Heavily Modified from Frappuccino Cucpcakes
Servings: 2- 9" cakes

Hazelnutty and coffeey batter

Cakes
2 1/4 cups all-purpose gluten free flour (or cake flour if not going GF)
1/2 cup toasted hazelnuts, peeled and chopped well
1 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp Cafe du Monde coffee powder
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 tbsp vanilla extract

The greatest frosting in the history of fat

2/3 cup strongly brewed Cafe du Monde coffee

Chocolate Hazelnut Frosting
16 oz cream cheese, softened to room temp
6-8 tbsp chocolate hazelnut spread (I used Justin's Chocolate Hazelnut Butter)
2-4 cups powdered sugar
2 splashes of heavy cream
1 tbsp vanilla extract
Toasted hazelnuts, coarsely chopped

And now you can peel all of them!

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. Whisk the flour (use cake flour if possible), chopped hazelnuts, baking powder, salt and coffee powder together in a large bowl). Set aside.
3. Beat the butter and sugar together in an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment until light and fluffy.
4. Add in the eggs one at a time until well incorporated.
5. Mix in the vanilla extract.
6. Alternate adding in the dry ingredients and brewed coffee in 3 portions until just mixed.
7. Fill two, greased, lightly floured 9" rounds with batter. Bake for 16-20 minutes or until the toothpick test comes back clean.
8. Let cool on a wire rack.
9. Fail at removing the cakes from their pans and have 2, single layer cakes instead of a majestic double layer one.
10. Make the frosting in an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat the cream cheese well. Then add the chocolate hazelnut spread and mix well.
11. Add in the vanilla extract and powdered sugar (I used 4 cups because my hippie spread was lower in sugar than your usual Nutella, so adjust accordingly). Smooth out the frosting with a couple of splashes of heavy cream. Realize you have just created the world's greatest frosting and make up for the fact that you've been too busy baking to eat all day.
12. Frost the cakes and sprinkle on chopped toasted hazelnuts. Serve slices on top of a smear of extra frosting.

One lovely cake stuck to the pan!

Flavor-wise, this cake hit all the fondly remembered Cafe TH notes, and was, in my mind, the dish that most resembled its inspiration. The coffee and hazelnut melded together with perfect harmony in the cake, while the chocolate hazelnut frosting should have a patch to combat the addiction to it that you will develop. The only downfall of the cake was its overly crumbly nature resulting from the gluten-free flour (easily fixed by using super gluteny cake flour for those of you who want to try this at home). My inability to separate the cakes from their pans to make a two-tiered dessert behemoth turned out to be a blessing as there is no way that structure would have survived cutting.

The next iteration might just be a giant bowl filled with frosting

I don't know that Kevin and I have ever put more into a night of cooking than we did for this ode to Cafe TH (and that's saying something), but it was absolutely worth it as we had a night we'll never forget (and not just because we were too busy cooking non-stop to drink). As amazing as the night was, we sure are glad that next time it'll be coming out of Minh's kitchen.

After a long day of cooking, Kevin and I were able to enjoy the fruits of our efforts and look damn good doing it.

Game of Thrones: Red Wedding Cake

I had no idea just how enthusiastic Lars' painting would be.

This past Sunday, Game of Thrones had its highly anticipated season 4 premiere. Since my friends and I are huge nerds fans of the show, we decided we needed a ridiculous evening devoted to our return to Westeros. For my cooking, I wanted to focus on the two biggest aspects of the show: dragons (see the upcoming Dragon Eggs and Fire Sauce) and the (in)famous Red Wedding (I figured focusing on the equally famous gratuitous nudity would be a little less blog friendly).

Could I, along with the decorating skills of cooking neophyte Lars, come up with a cake that fittingly honored the over the top violence of the fight for the Iron Throne?

Dun Dun DuDuDun Dun DuDuDun Dun...

Red Wedding Cake
Servings: 1- 2 level tiered cake
Time: 2 hours

Almond Wedding Cake (recipe below)
Blackberry Curd (recipe below)
Cream Cheese Frosting (recipe below)
Fake Blood (recipe below)

1. Prepare the cake, curd, frosting and fake blood. Once everything is cooled begin assembling.
2. Cut each of the two cakes in half. Fill the larger cake with curd and replace the top. Cover well with frosting. 
3. Place the bottom of the second cake on top of the frosting and fill with curd. Cover and finish frosting.
4. Take out your inner aggressions by creating blood splatters all over the cake with the fake blood.

Much like the outside, the inside lived (or should it be died?) up to its name.

This cake was even more Red Weddingy than I had hoped. Lars really embraced her inner Lannister to deliver a confection worthy of the King's table.

Almond Wedding Cake
Adapted from I am Baker
Servings: 1- 9" and 1- 7 1/2" Round Cake
Time: 30 minutes

2 1/2 cups cake flour
1/2 cup milk,  at room temp
1/2 cup buttermilk, at room temp
2-3 tbsp sour cream
6 large egg whites, at room temp
1 tbsp almond extract
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened

So white and pure. Just like a silly Stark.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. 
2. Whisk cake flour, sugar, baking powder and salt together in a bowl.
3. In a separate bowl, mix the milks, sour cream, egg whites and extracts together.
4. Cream the butter in a stand mixer at medium speed.
5. Add in the flour mixture and let go for 1-2 minutes until you see a change in texture from the butter.
6. Add half of the milk mixture and mix well at medium-low speed.
7. Scrape the sides down and beat in the rest of the milk.
8. Pour the batter between your two cake pans.
9. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until the toothpick test comes back clean.
10. Let cool in the pan for 2 minutes then transfer to wire racks. Let cool to room temperature before any other steps.

Not to be outdone, it's actually a really tasty wedding cake.

If your intentions are far more wholesome, this recipe actually makes a phenomenal wedding cake. The almond flavor comes through nicely to go with a wonderfully moist cake. I did adjust this recipe slightly from the original by adding a little more flour, sour cream, and splitting the milk into half buttermilk, and the result was undeniably delicious. My only regret was not making the cakes taller for bigger layers once I cut them. Perhaps a little more baking powder would be in order next time.

Blackberry Curd

Adapted from Cupcake Wars

Previously Seen Here

Servings: About 4 layers worth

Time: 20 minutes

1 quart blackberries

1/4 cup water

2 tbsp all-purpose flour

1/2 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 egg yolk

2 tbsp unsalted butter

Blunt force instrument of blackberry death. I call this whisk "Ice" now.

1. Combine the blackberries and water in a pot. Simmer until the blackberries change color and start to come apart easily.
2. Pour the hot mixture through a strainer and press the blackberries to get all the juice out.
3. Mix the sugar and flour together in a separate, clena pot.
4. Slowly pour in the juice while whisking constantly until fully incorporated.
5. Add in the eggs and egg yolks while still whisking over medium-low heat until it begins to thicken (about 5-7 minutes).
6. Once the curd has formed, remove from heat and stir in the butter. 
7. Cover and cool in the fridge.

I could never get it quite the right level of red from its starting purple.

My first and perhaps favorite curd made the natural growth from Wedding Shower treat to full on wedding cake filling. The curd itself is a brilliant purple/red color that is packed with the sweetness and tartness blackberries are known for. Additionally, the consistency of the curd was perfect for building healthy, structurally sound layers despite my seeming inability to cut the cakes in half evenly. One brief word of caution: no matter how much red food coloring you add, you won't be able to change its appearance.

Thanks to the curd, my kitchen was beginning to resemble a scene from the show.

Cream Cheese Frosting

Servings: 1 tiered cake's worth

Time: 10 minutes

16 oz cream cheese, room temp

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 tbsp almond extract

1-2 tsp vanilla extract

4-5 cups powdered sugar, sifted 

1. Make sure the butter and cream cheese are at room temp (this will help avoid lumps).
2. Cream the butter for 2 minutes until smooth using the whisk attachment on a stand mixer. Beat in the cream cheese and extracts.
3. Gradually whisk in the powdered sugar until it reaches your desired level of sweetness.
4. Store in the fridge until ready to use.

Even before the drizzle, the frosting wasn't free of some fake blood swirled in thanks to the inner curd.

This was a bit of a departure from your traditional buttercream/fondant loaded wedding cake, but it's my Red Wedding and I can do what I want. I merely altered my go to cream cheese recipe to highlight an almond flavor, and I kept the sweetness level on the low side since the blackberry and fake blood drizzle would take care of that.

Fake Blood Drizzle

Servings: Enough to satisfy even the most depraved decorator

Time: 5 minutes

10 oz strawberry preserves/jam (make sure there are chunks of strawberry)

8 oz red raspberry preserves/jam

8 oz cream cheese

Red food coloring

Don't forget, chunks of berry are key for pulling this off.

1. Mix all the ingredients together until smooth and the desired level of red is achieved.

I've determined that all decent parties should have at least 2 fake blood options.

This was really a last minute thought as to how I could generate a second, more liquidy blood for outer decoration. The chunks of fruit in the preserves added a little much needed texture and made our coating properly gory. Both of our blood options were extremely tasty, so I highly recommend letting your guests further decorate their slices of cake as they see fit.

It looks like the Hound himself sliced it.

This bloody cake just may have been my baking opus (I honestly stopped after my first bite and thought exactly that). Every layer was delectable on its own, but together they only managed to strengthen each other for a truly exquisite dessert experience. All of the sweetness and acidity of the bloods were balanced sublimely by the delicate almond cake and creamy frosting. In the end, it really was everything I had envisioned when I first thought of making a Red Wedding Cake.

Stay tuned for the conclusion to our premiere party- Dragon Eggs with Fire Sauce, where I also attempt to teach Lars a thing or two about cooking.

Remembering Harold Ramis: Twinkies of Psychokinetic Energy & Ecto Cooler

When your dessert isn't pretty, you should at least help it out by cutting it with a knife... or shrinking it thanks to combining it with a picture of the greatest twinkie scientist ever.

When I was a kid, Egon Spengler was my hero. He was without a doubt the greatest Ghostbuster in all the land. Despite all the fancy PhDs around, everyone knew he was the brains behind the operation (and the awesome proton packs). To put it simply, he was everything my bespectacled young self wanted to be when I grew up (plus I was pretty sure there was at least an 80% chance I'd end up looking like him). As I got older, I realized it wasn't just Egon who I was a massive fan of, but the man behind the glasses, Harold Ramis. From Caddyshack to Stripes and Groundhog Day, the comedic genius excelled both in front of and behind the camera and shaped several generations' senses of humor.

Doe. Ray. Egon!

I may not have ended up looking exactly like Egon (thanks facial hair and changing glasses trends!), but I definitely still strive to be even half the fake scientist he was (maybe if I drilled a hole in my head...). My immediate reaction to seeing my Facebook feed flooded with Ghostbusters pictures was "Dear God, don't be Egon!", but after calming down, I knew I had to honor him the best way I knew how- with delicious foodstuffs.

Now presenting The Twinkie of Psychokinetic Energy & Refreshing Ecto Cooler!

Pretty much all science can be explained with twinkies if you're enough of a bad ass.

The Twinkie of Psychokinetic Energy

Adapted from The Brown Eyed Baker & All Recipes
Servings: About 8 oddly shaped twinkies
Time: 60 minutes

Pudding batter!

Cake
1 16 oz. box pound cake mix
4 egg whites
2/3 cup water
Half package instant vanilla pudding (about 2.5 oz)

Filling
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 8 oz package cream cheese, softened
1-3 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
1 8 ox container cool whip, thawed
A healthy spoonful of marshmallow fluff
1 tbsp vanilla extract

I was so hopeful that the molds had worked out given how they looked before removal.

1. Preheat the oven to 325 F.
2. Beat the egg whites with an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment at high speed until stiff peaks form. Set aside.
3. Combine the pound cake mix, water and instant vanilla pudding together at medium speed with the paddle attachment until just incorporated into a batter.
4. Gently fold in the egg whites.
5. If you're fancy, put your batter about 1/2 to 2/3 of the way full into a cream canoe or mini loaf pan. If you're not, MacGyver some molds. Do this by folding a 12" square piece of aluminum foil twice and then rolling it around a spice bottle until you have somewhat of a twinkie shape. Spray with non-stick cooking spray and evenly distribute your batter. Pack the molds together in a large baking pan.
6. Bake for 30 minutes or until the cakes are become golden and stand up to the tried and true toothpick test.
7. While the cake is baking, make the filling by beating all the ingredients together in a stand mixer with the whisk until somewhat smooth (it doesn't need to be too pretty since it'll be hidden). Be sure to scrap often with a spatula because that marshmallow fluff isn't gonna make this easy.
8. Carefully remove the cakes from their molds and let cool on wire racks.
9. Once the cakes are completely cooled, create openings 3-4 in the bottoms of each (if yours are pretty enough to determine what the bottom is) by wiggling a toothpick around. Then add the filling using a piping bag with a large opening decorating tip (this is key, or it will not come out at all). Fill until almost, but not quite bursting.
10. Enjoy the single tastiest twinkie you've ever had and be glad that your taste buds aren't superficial.

Once you determine which horribly mangled side is the bottom, fill away!

The twinkies definitely weren't pretty (splurge and get a fancy pan for them), but they were surprisingly the tastiest ones I had ever had. I'm normally not a huge fan of pound cake, but the added pudding mix really took the fantastically bouncy cake to another level. My only recommendation would be to make sure your twinkies are bursting with as much psychokinetic energy as possible because the marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and sugar combo is perfect for making you wish any dessert was "35 feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds".

Ecto Cooler

Adapted from Nerdist

Servings: 1 gallon of sugar juice

Time: 5 minutes

2 cups pulp-free orange juice

2 packets orange kool-aid

1 healthy spoonful Country Time powdered lemonade mix
1 3/4 cup sugar

Blue and green food coloring

Water to fill

Note: you can replace half of all orange with tangerine juice/powder

 I bought a fancy pitcher just for this. I'm so glad it could properly showcase the ecto cooler beauty...

1. Mix all the ingredients together in a 1 gallon pitcher. 
2. Fill to near the top with water.
3. Stir well.
4. Let sit in your fridge for over a week until even your freezer smells like delightful fruit candy.

If you can name what color it is, then you didn't do it right.

I never thought Ecto Cooler was the finest Hi-C flavor growing up, but, dammit, I drank a lot of it because Slimer was on the cover and we all know cartoons give the best nutritional advice. The concoction of indeterminate color was everything my sugar addled brain remembers from my youth. A strong orangey hit is just enough to make you forget that its basically pure sugar. I highly recommend turning this into mimosas for full circle enjoyment as an adult.

"This magnificent feast here represents the last of the petty cash."

Since my guests probably would've left if I only gave them sugar cakes with diabetes juice to wash it down, our massive feast was rounded out in to a full blown meal. Laura provided her guacamole that made me ask "Are you a God?", and Danielle put my deformed twinkies to shame with her delicious Pinterest-worthy Stay Puft Marshmallow men (and a bag of exploded ones to make me feel better). Maconda and Sacha supplied Chinese takeout (aka late night Ghostbuster fuel), and Megan brought baby shower cupcakes all the way from College Station to help give everything a slightly creepy paranormal feel.

Homemade goodness. Danielle's Stay Puft Marshmallow Men win prettiest honors, but Laura's guac (in honor of Slimer) always wins tastiest (until I hate myself for ingesting the entire tub).

A Ghostbusters meal wouldn't be complete without Chinese takeout. We also had a special guest appearance by baby (Oscar) shower cupcakes all the way from College Station compliments of Megan.

This definitely was a glorious Sunday afternoon worthy of the brilliant stranger who has somehow influenced me since I was three. One final time: Here's to the man who taught me that it was ok to be a nerd with a strange sense of humor and that twinkies were an essential scientific unit of measurement!

Even this painting isn't enough to pay proper tribute to Harold Ramis, but having something like this with my future family in it is a life goal.

And now, I leave you with the wisdom of the world's greatest slacker/smart-ass: Russell Ziskey. May we all have a teacher that dedicated in our lives.

Once Upon a Time in Laura's Kitchen: Amaretto Lime Tres Leches

All the leches may have caused minor droopage and made it slightly less photogenic...

Since Laura was teaching me how to make the perfect Mexican Dinner with her Puerco and Veggie Pibil, the least I could do was help finish the night with the Perfect Mexican dessert-Tres Leches. As this was a special day (read: I've already written up normal tres leches and I needed more material), I decided to try a bold, new approach to the milky goodness. I would transform it with amaretto and lime.

Would my going off book pay off or would everyone be content to simply go into a meat coma after dinner?

Amaretto Lime Tres Leches
Adapted from Alton Brown
Previously seen in non Amaretto Lime form Here
Servings: 1 9"x13" Cake
Time: 3+ hours (inactive for 2+)

Spongy batter

Cake
Vegetable Oil
6 3/4 oz cake flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp sea salt
4 oz unsalted butter, room temp
8 oz sugar
5 large eggs
1tbsp Amaretto
Juice of 1 lime
Zest of 2-3 limes

Find the lime zest!

Glaze
1 12 oz can evaporated milk
1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 cup half-andphalf

Frosting
2 cups heavy whipping cream
8 oz sugar
1 tbsp Amaretto
Zest of 3 limes (about 1 tbsp)
Strawberries, Raspberries, Blackberries and Blueberries

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. Lightly oil and flour a 9"x13" metal baking pan.
3. Whisk the cake flour, baking powder and salt together in a bowl (note: all measurements are by weight).
4. Beat the butter in a mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy.
5. Slowly incorporate the sugar with the butter at low speed. 
6. Mix in the eggs one at a time until fully incorporated.
7. Add in the amaretto, lime juice and lime zest.
8. Gradually mix in the dry ingredients at low speed, taking care not to overmix.
9. Pour the batter into the pan and bake for 20-25 minutes or until the toothpick test comes back clean.
10. Poke holes throughout the cake with a fork and let it cool.
11. Once cooled, whisk the glaze ingredients together in a bowl and pour it over the cake.
12. Refrigerate covered for at least 2 hours (the longer the better).
13. Make the frosting by whisking the whipping cream, sugar, amaretto and lime zest together at medium speed until peaks start to form. Then, ramp it up to high speed until it thickens.
14. Spread the whipped cream over the cake and top with berries.
15. Realize that the whipping cream really makes this cuatro leches and have your mind blown!

None of the other guests realized how close they were to not getting dessert as I debated diving in face first like a pie eating contest.

Tres leches truly is a marvel of the cake world. It's an incredibly simple cake to make, and it looks unbelievably unassuming. All that hidden milk (well, at least it's usually more hidden than you'll see below) somehow manages to transform it into a dessert like no other. In order to make this version, I took my previously used normal tres leches recipe and subbed amaretto for vanilla (at a slightly higher rate) and added in some lime zest and lime juice (but only use juice in the batter unless you want some ugly curdled whipped cream).

I had a sneaking suspicion that this may be packed with leches.

This tres leches was absolutely bursting with flavor (and milk...). The lime completely transformed it into a memorable dessert. I would say unfortunately the amaretto got lost in the mix, but it really didn't matter. This cake tasted incredible without really being able to notice the amaretto (although I'm sure it still contributed to the awesome). Double dousing the lime also led to an even more refreshing whipped cream topping. In a few short minutes, 3/4 of the cake were quickly decimated, which had me feeling quite good about its success, but then I received the greatest compliment ever as Blaine exclaimed "It has a Froot Loops aftertaste, and I mean that in a good way!" Yes, I had finally found the perfect dessert to get to the heart of everyone's inner six year old's love of fruity, sugary milk. Take that Alton Brown and your normal, boring Tres Leches!

I was proven correct. Welcome to tres leches soup! Toucan Sam would be proud.

Now that was one day of cooking, eating and enjoying tasty cocktails (compliments of our other former RA, Kevin) that will be hard to top anytime soon. Stay tuned later this week as Kevin (the non former RA) and I begin our journey into the mysterious world of the crock pot.

Kevin enjoys a delightfuly refreshing cocktail compliments of Kevin the RA. Now let's hope he knows as much about crock pot cooking as he does about looking super manly.

Pumpkinpocalypse 2013: The Bakering- Pumpkin Cookie Cake

This summer I played a fun game called "let's see how far I can bend my knee in an unnatural direction" (soon to be a major TV event on NBC). In the end, physics won that game, and one shiny new zombie knee later, I found myself confined to a recliner and missing the days of baking bliss in my kitchen. My poor stand mixer just sat there in its little corner all alone and abandoned. I would crutch by and not be able to look it in its face. Now that I'm finally back on my feet, I had two choices. Either I could take my newfound zombie knee strength and take the NFL by storm, or I could make it up to my beloved and neglected best kitchen (aid) buddy. Fame and fortune be damned! It was time to get back to work.

Why hello, old friend. Oh, how I have missed thee.

Since all of nature from my lattes to my beers has been taken over by the giant looming specter of the pumpkin, I figured there was no use fighting it. I would make my triumphant return to the kitchen with fall's greatest round orange thingy (after all this time, I still have a way with word type stuffs). Plus, it was time to show all my new coworkers who only knew me as that weird guy in shorts with a limp what my real expertise was in.

Pumpkin Cookie Cake (or cookies)
Adapted from BHG.com
Servings: 3 cakes, or 36 cookies (or 2 cakes and 16 cookies)
Time: 30 minutes

Cookies 

Don't even look at it! It's all mine!

2 cups butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground nutmeg
2 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla
1 15 oz can pumpkin
4 cups all-purpose flour
Walnuts (optional but highly recommended)

Frosting
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla 
2- 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. 
2. Whisk the sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg together in a large bowl.
3. Cream the butter using  a stand mixer at medium speed for 30 seconds until light and fluffy.
4. Add the dry ingredients to the creamed butter and combine well.
5. Mix in the eggs one at a time.
6. Stir in the vanilla and pumpkin.
7. Marvel at the disgusting mix that stands before you.
8. Gradually add in the flour until just incorporated.
9. Marvel at the delicious bowl of batter in front of you and vow to horde it for yourself.
10. Stir in walnuts if necessary (you really should to add some crunch).
11. Drop in tbsp sized lumps on baking sheets covered in wax paper or spread in a round baking pan (it rises a lot, so don't fill it too much).
12. For cookie cakes, bake 14-16 minutes or 12-14 minutes for cookies (basically until the top sets).
13. Let cool on a wire rack.
14. Decide that 2 cups of sugar weren't enough and vow to fight this injustice by making frosting.
15. Melt the butter and brown sugar together in a saucepan over medium heat. Remove.
16. Mix in the milk and vanilla then slowly add the powdered sugar until it reaches your desired thickness (not too liquidy) and sweetness.
17. Once the cookie (cake) has cooled, spread on a thin layer of the frosting and let it set.
18. Realize you still have almost an entire bowl of super sugar.

    

    This is what I imagine tooth lava would look like (note: it looks better on the cookies).

    I decided to make some pumpkin cookies so I would have an excuse to browse Better Home and Garden's website that I could emphasize the sweetness of pumpkins to go with some healthier and muffins focusing on pumpkin spiciness (stay tuned, true believers!). After I baked my first batch of cookies, I was a little concerned with how they were setting and their general super softness. So I improvised! I threw the rest of the batter in two round baking pans and mixed in some walnuts to create the only thing that could possibly outshine the brilliance of a cookie- a cookie cake (at least until I figure out how to make a cookie cake pie).
    

    

    In between the sugary frosting and moist cake lies a majestic top layer of buttery cookie goodness.

    In the end, I had two amazing treats for the effort of one. The cookies were extremely light and really showcased the smoothness that is pumpkin, but the cookie cake really raised the bar. The cookie cake baked beautifully, providing a moist cake with a buttery top that was truly melt in your mouth. The frosting added another layer of almost mapley sweetness (but beware, a little goes a long way), while the walnuts provided some much needed crunch to balance the smooth pumpkin cookieness (man, I missed making up food words). This truly is a great way to explain to someone why pumpkin is so amazing because it really stands on its on in these cookies without being bolstered up by an overabundance of spices (I saved that for the next one).

    

    Cookies are great and all but why not have the best of both worlds by putting them in cake form?

    This cookie (cake) was enough to make me thoroughly satisfied with diving back into baking madness, but could my healthy option, Pumpkin Chai Muffins, raise my baking confidence and ego to even higher, almost unsafe levels? Check back tomorrow to find out.

Reese's Pieces Cookies & Cookie Cake Mutation!

In the early days of mankind, humans discovered a way to reach near god-like levels by combining peanut butter and chocolate. Then a genius (who I can only assume is named Reese) created the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. But man was lazy, and preferred to eat things in handfuls without getting melted chocolate all over, so Reese's Pieces were created and humanity reached its zenith (a level managed again only with the creation of cookie dough ice cream).

I knew I was going to need one ridiculous cookie to compete with the Lemon Ricotta Blackberry Muffins for my Office bake-athon and care package assembly. As a result, I called upon these peanut butter and chocolate discs for help.  Plus, I figured this would be an awesome way to trick people with peanut allergies into thinking they were having safe, unassuming M&M cookies.

Reese's Pieces Cookies
Adapted from Emeril's Giant Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake
Time: 30 minutes
Servings: 2 dozen cookies

1 cup butter, room temp
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups plus 2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips
Loads of Reese's Pieces

I find I'm quite liberal with my interpretation of cookie dough sizes.

1. Preheat the oven to 375 F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper.
2. Cream the butter and sugars together with a stand mixer until light and fluffy.
3. Beat in the eggs and vanilla.
4. Whisk the flour, baking soda and salt together in a separate bowl.
5. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the creamed mixture until incorporated.
6. Stir in the chocolate chips and Reese's pieces with a rubber spatula. 
7. Realize that even an absurd looking amount of Reese's pieces is not nearly enough and pour more in.
8. Place ~ tbsp sized drops onto the lined baking sheets.
9. Bake for 8-12 minutes until they start to brown.
10. Let rest on the cookie sheets for 5 minutes to crisp up the bottoms then transfer to wire racks to finish cooling.

Somehow, I managed to create the best of both worlds with these cookies and generate both chewy and crunchy varieties thanks to what I will refer to as the magical oven of mystery and wonder (sadly, walking in to it does not lead to a Narnia like world). It's important to make sure that you load these up with as many chocolate chips and Reese's Pieces while still adhering to the laws of physics (more specifically, the law of conservation of mass). Essentially, you have an amazing chocolate chip cookie stuffed with all the peanut buttery goodness you could have ever hoped for as a child. In the eternal battle for cookie supremacy, these managed to even outdo the fabled M&M variety.

The Super Bowl Cookie Cake Mutation

Sure, it looks tasty, but it could use more unnecessary sugar.

These cookies were actually inspired by the pure, utter perfection I experienced during this past Super Bowl with my Reese's Pieces Cookie Cake. Everyone knows the following facts: Cookies are awesome; Cake is awesome; and Combining two awesome things can only lead to a dangerous state known as super awesome. Therefore, it can easily be concluded that combining a cookie and a cake is the greatest level of deliciousness that one can hope to achieve.

Indeed, this proved to be the case, as this cookie cake easily swept the floor with the spectacular cookies. The cake form allowed for a gooier center that was highly addictive. Plus, cheap icing in a chez whiz like bottle has always been a favorite of mine. In order to transform this recipe into a proper cookie cake, simply pour the batter into a round baking dish and bake for 20-25 minutes until browned.

One day, I will blow the world's collective mind by creating the world's first combination ice cream cookie cake (no, cookies and cream doesn't count).

Check back soon for the thrilling finale to our Office Marathon Bakeathon: Eggless Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Raisin Cookies.