Los Angeles Pizzanistas: Margherita

No, we did not reassemble the already sliced pizza to take a pic. That'd be crazy.

Before I sing the praises of the latest oven baked Italian odyssey, I want to say that I generally don't like Margherita pizza. Sure it's great to snack on at a Happy Hour, but, in general, it just seems so plain and looks so uninteresting. Plus, I had just ingested the world's most superb realization of cheese and meat and bread coming together to fight for the good of mankind (see: Bacon Jam pizza). My mind was about to be changed.

Pizza Sauce
Courtney's original recipe
Servings: Many pizzas worth
Time: 20 minutes

1 small can (6 oz) tomato paste

1 small can (15 oz) tomato sauce

1 bay leaf

1/2 tsp dried basil

1/2 tsp dried oregano

1/2 tsp dried rosemary

1/2 tsp dried thyme

Pinch to 1 tsp salt (depending on if tomatoes have salt)

1/4 to 1/2 tsp pepper

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/4 small onion, diced

1/2 small carrot or 1-2 baby carrots, grated

Carrots in the sauce. Craziness. 

1. Cook the onions in olive oil until they start to soften, then add in the garlic and cook for another minute or so.
2. Mix in the tomato sauce, paste and spices. Stir to incorporate everything, and cook for 15 minutes to let all the flavors marry.

Since there isn't a whole lot going on in a Margherita pizza, it's base components better be spectacular. This carefully crafted sauce truly brought the winning flavor to our pizza to save it from a drab fate. This masterful sauce isn't just relegated to pizzas, it would also make a welcome addition to any pasta (just thin it with a little water or stock first).

Margherita Pizza

Infused... with awesome!

Pizza sauce (recipe above)

Pizza crust (recipe found here)

Mozzarella

Fresh basil

Garlic and basil infused olive oil

Delicious bubbly cheese. Also, the name of my new Indie rock band.

1. Preheat your oven to 500 F.
2. Heat olive oil and garlic over low heat in a pot for as long as you want (but at least 10 minutes) to infuse the olive oil. Let it come back to room temperature before using.
3. Top your rolled out dough with the ingredients and bake on a pizza stone or oiled cookie sheet for 12-15 minutes until the crust is golden and the cheese is bubbly.

Mmm, basily

Fresh basil and giant chunks of mozzarella combined with the fantastic crust and sauce helped make our Margherita pizza one to remember. The true MVP ingredient, however, was the basil and garlic infused olive oil which really made our pizza pop. In the end, I shockingly somehow managed to eat almost equal amounts of both pizzas. Well played, Margherita pizza. Well played.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to order some pizza after writing about it all day and hope that my mind lets me pretend it's the same thing.

Los Angeles Pizzanistas: Bacon Jam

Whenever I head back to Los Angeles, I fall into a near hibernatory state of eating and sleeping and playing with the world's most awesome dogs, Harry and Faye. It would take something special to get me to emerge from my puppy and Lifetime movie cocoon. Fortunately for my taste buds, a chance to make pizza with Courtney and Lars fit the necessary criteria. This past Labor Day weekend (yep, this post is that long in the making), Lars and I sat amazed in Courtney's kitchen as some of the world's most delicious round cheesy foods filled our bellies with glee.

Stand back, Los Angeles, we're going to try pizza!

When Courtney first discussed making pizza, my mouth began to water recalling the several times I was fortunate enough to gorge on it while we were at UCLA together, but then she said two words that would forever change my life: Bacon Jam.

Pizza Crust
From Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything Vegetarian
Servings: 4-6 pizzas
Time: 2 hours

3 cups flour
1 tsp (1 packet) yeast
2 tsp salt
2 tbsp oil
1 cup water

It also makes a fantastic face mask.

Can't remember if this is my hand or Courtney's...

1. In a bowl, combine the flour, salt and yeast.
2. Add the water and oil and form a ball.
3. Knead until smooth.
4. Mix in additional flour if the dough is too sticky, or water (1/2 tsp at a time) if it's too dry.
5. Knead your dough ball for a few minutes. Then place it in an oiled bowl, cover it and stick it in a warm place until it rises (1-2 hours). 
6. Once the dough has risen, punch it down and wait 20 minutes or so before splitting it and rolling it out to your desired pizza sizes.

Don't mess around in Courtney's kitchen.

Sometimes less is more, and this fairy basic crust proves that. The barebones approach produces a wonderfully crisp crust that's quite flavorful and really helps compliment any toppings lucky enough to be placed on top of it.

Slow Cooker Bacon Jam

From Martha Stewart

Servings: Enough to make you feel disgusting

Time: 4 1/2 hours

The secret is bacon fat.

1 1/2 lbs sliced bacon, cut crosswise into 1-inch pieces

2 medium yellow onions, diced

3 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled

1/2 cup cider vinegar

1/2 cup packed dark-brown sugar

1/4 cup pure maple syrup

3/4 cup brewed coffee

Must find a way to bottle the smell or make scratch and sniff pictures.

1. Cook the bacon over medium-high in a large skillet, stirring occasionally until it is lightly browned and the fat is rendered (about 20 minutes).
2. Transfer the bacon to a paper towel to drain, and pour off all but 1 tbsp of fat from the skillet.
3. Add the onions and garlic to the bacon fat and cook until translucent (about 6 minutes).
4. Mix in the vinegar, brown sugar, maple syrup and coffee and bring to a boil, stirring and scraping up browned bits from the skillet with a wooden spoon for about two minutes.
5. Add the bacon back in and stir to combine.
6. Transfer to a 6 quart slow cooker and cook uncovered on high until the liquid is syrupy (3 1/2 to 4 hours). Run it through a food processor if you want it less chunky and more jam like.
7. Have everyone you know come smell how amazing your kitchen is right now.

I'm still curious how it goes with peanut butter.

Pizza sauce is so cliche. It was time for it to receive a modern day makeover courtesy of loads upon loads of bacon. The natural savory manly bacony awesomeness melds perfectly with the sweetness added to it by the brown sugar and maple syrup for a one of a kind pizza topping. Upon tasting this, I contemplated living a life where I spend my days sitting in a La-Z-Boy recliner eating bowlfuls of bacon jam in a heavily stained white t-shirt (I'm 75% sure you will agree upon tasting).

Bacon Jam Pizza

Bacon Jam (Recipe above)

Mozzarella 

Arugula

White onion, thinly sliced

I'd still eat it raw. It was that glorious

1. Take great pride in the fact you fought off the seduction of the bacon jam's aroma long enough to put it on your pizza.
2. Top your rolled out dough with the ingredients and bake for 12-15 minutes on a pizza stone or oiled cookie sheet until the crust is golden and the cheese is bubbly

Slice 1 of 50 I would consume that day.

Every single aspect of this, the world's most magnificently fantastical pizza absolutely killed it. The crust was, as previously mentioned, awesomely golden, while the bacon jam brought the sauce possibilities to a dream world like level. As far as cheese is concerned, giant chunks of melted mozzarella wins out over shredded every single time. To round things out, the arugula added a nice pepperiness to each bite. I am now severely regretting waiting so long to write this up because I am now forced to relive the sheer incredibleness from months ago, knowing that there is no more readily available to devour.

My pizza making skills on display. Nailed it (although the bacon jam all but assured victory).

Like me, Courtney is never satisfied making just one thing, so stay tuned to learn about our delectable adventures in Margherita Pizza and Vietnamese Coffee Ice Cream.

This Margherita Pizza was facing an uphill battle having to follow the bacon jam.  Stay tuned to find out how it held up.

Mom's Diner: Cajun Eggs Benedict

For our final culinary collaboration, my mom wanted to show we are a family with a little class and not just one that ate chili cheese fries and the food that helped lead Elvis to XXL jumpsuits and an early grave. Nothing says fancy like brunch, so we decided on the classic brunch staple- Eggs Benedict. However, on the way to making one of the most typical brunches out there, something magical happened. We Cajuned it up to create one of the most mouthwateringly delicious meals I have ever had.

Cajun Eggs Benedict
Servings: 4
Time: 30 minutes

Veggies in oil always smell awesome

1/2 cup cooking oil
1/2 cup onion, chopped
1/2 cup bell pepper, chopped
1 stalk celery heart, deveined and chopped
1 tbsp garlic, minced
Tabasco to taste
Tony Chachere's to taste
Cayenne pepper to taste
1 can Rotel
1 lb alligator and pork sausage, quartered (halved lengthwise then halved)
1 lb crawfish, peeled and seasoned (we used frozen)
Butter
4 English muffins, toasted
4 eggs

Is it pork? Is it alligator? Who cares? It's delightful.

New Orleans is all about decadence, so naturally we had to top things with buttered crawfish.

This felt like cheating.

1. Brown the sausage in 3 tbsp of olive oil over medium heat.
2. Start a piquant sauce. Sauté the onion, bell pepper, garlic and celery in several tbsp of olive oil until tender. 
3. Add the tabasco, Tony Chachere's, cayenne and rotel to the veggies and cook uncovered until well mixed (~10 minutes).
4. Mix in the sausage and simmer for 10 more minutes.
5. Melt butter in the pan you used to brown the sausage then cook the crawfish in it for about 5 minutes (season with tabasco and Tony Chachere's).
6. Poach your eggs (you can find a tutorial here).
7. Toast the English muffins.
8. Top half of an English muffin with the sausage then the poached egg, crawfish and excess piquant sauce.

It was important to load up on all the fatty goodness after taking a pretty pic.

We truly saved the best for last. Everything about this take on Eggs Benedict worked flawlessly. The alligator sausage was perfectly browned and added nice spice and heartiness to everything, but it especially blended perfectly with that poached egg (the world's fanciest and best tasting egg). The piquant sauce added some nice onion and peppers to the mix without overpowering that gooey egg like a thick sauce would have. Meanwhile the buttery crawfish helped up the savory quotient to practically unsafe levels. All of these aspects served as truly fitting toppings for that fantastic crispy toasted English muffin it sat on. This wasn't just my favorite dish I've ever made, it was one of my favorite meals I have ever eaten.

It was a truly amazing day (Yeah 4 major recipes in under 24 hours. That's just how my mom rolls.) of cooking with my mom, and I can't wait for my next visit to her diner for more delicious eats and quality culinary lessons.

Mom's Diner: Apple Pie

Since my mom still thinks I'm a growing boy (I'm still waiting for those last 3 inches the doctor promised me), she wasn't just going to let me leave without a complete meal. To make sure I got the necessary sugar part of the food pyramid, my mom introduced me to the sweet tooth utopia known as her apple pie. At first, I was a little hesitant about committing an act of piedultery against my normal pie shoppe partner Robin, but then I remembered that I hadn't eaten pie since her departure in May, giving way to the ever popular pie withdrawal excuse.

Pie Crust

Ball of shortening!

Adapted from Crisco
Servings: 1 deep dish pie
Time: 30 minutes

2 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 stick or 1 cup chilled all-vegetable shortening
6-10 tbsp ice cold water

My mom's dough rolling skills > my dough rolling skills.

1. Preheat the oven to 425 F.
2. Whisk the flour and salt together in a bowl.
3. Cut the shortening into 1/2 inch cubes. Then cut the cubs into the flour mix with a pastry blender or fork (or smush them with your fingers) until only pea-sized coarse crumbs remain.
4. Sprinkle 5 tbsp of water over the flour and distribute evenly. Continue adding water until it is moist enough to hold together and work with.
5. Shape the dough into a ball then flatten into a 1/2 inch thick round disk.
6. Roll the dough out evenly into a circle at least 2 inches larger than the size of your pie dish. Gently place into the pie dish. Trim so that there's about 3/4 inch overhand. Fold the edges under and flute the edges of the dough.
7. Poke holes into the bottom and sides of the crust with a fork to prevent blistering and rising. Prebake for 10-12 minutes or until the bottom is golden brown.

And she even flutes it. Hot diggity damn!

I had never made a crust with shortening before, so I was quite intrigued. The shortening based pie shell was surprisingly easy to work with and had a fantastic taste that ranked up there with any pie crust in all the land. Plus, I was too dumbfounded by my mom's stellar dough fluting abilities to even notice what I was eating. For all I knew she replaced the pie with a darn tasty toaster.

Dutch Apple Pie

Modified from Food.com

Servings: 1 deep dish pie

Time: 1 hour

You'd never know the apples are actually wax

1 pie crust

Filling

1/4 cup water

10 Granny Smith apples

2 tbsp lemon juice

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cu brown sugar, packed

1 tbsp ground cinnamon

Streusel!

6 tbsp flour

Topping

1 1/2 cups flour

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

2/3 cup butter

not even baked yet and already delicious looking

1. Preheat the oven to 375 F.
2. Mix the water, apples, lemon juice, sugars and cinnamon together in a large pot. Let the butter melt then blend well. Bring the mixture to a boil then let simmer uncovered for 10-15 minutes until the apples start to soften.
3. Remove from heat and mix the flour in.
4. Pour the filling into the prebaked pie crust.
5. Whisk the topping ingredients together in a large bowl until coarsely crumbled. Sprinkle it evenly over the filling.
6. Bake for 15 minutes then cover the crust with aluminum foil to prevent burning. Bake for an additional 40 minutes. Let cool quaintly on a windowsill and enjoy.

I want to go back to there.

Despite being completely stuffed from the chili cheese fries, fried peanut butter and banana sandwich, root beer float and shame, I managed to force a piece of pie down my throat before promptly falling asleep for thirteen hours. I'm glad I did because this was a killer piece of pie. Our granny smith apples provided sharp flavor and were perfectly cooked. The inside was so good and gooey that it was as if it also was filled with caramel (yay butter and sugar!). Most delightfully, however, the brown sugar crunch from the streusel topping went beautifully with the cinnamon punch of the pie to provide me with sweet dreams of a land made of apples and sugar. Stay tuned for the long awaited conclusion to my parental visit: Cajun Eggs Benedict. Can my body recover from the food pummeling it received in time to make a classy brunch, or will my mom bombard me with even more calories before I can get to the kitchen?

It's comforting to know that my mom also has trouble cutting pretty slices of pie.

Mom's Diner: Elvis Presley's Fried Peanut Butter & Banana Sandwich

Were you really expecting a pretty picture with a name like that?

Once my sister and I both left the South, my parents were forced to find new ways to fill their time (aside from worrying about us in scary California). That special replacement something turned out to be the King himself- Elvis Presley. My mom took a break from her busy Elvis Look-Alike contest schedule to teach me about some of the highlights of his "diet". Initially, I resisted, but since the recipe came from the chef who makes me want to know what love is (the ever so dreamy Nigella Lawson), I was willing to give it a shot.

Elvis Presley's Fried Peanut Butter & Banana Sandwich

From Nigella Lawson 

Servings: 1 or how ever many people you can convince to share a fried sandwich

Time: 10 minutes

2 slices white bread

2 tbsp butter

1 small ripe banana, mashed

2 tbsp creamy peanut butter

The complicated ingredients list. Not pictured: butter.

What sandwiches were missing

1. Lightly toast two pieces of white bread.
2. Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat.
3. Spread the mashed bananas and peanut butter on your toasted bread and close the two pieces together to form a sandwich (are you still with me?). In case you're confused, the gooey stuff goes on the inside.
4. Fry the sandwich in the melted butter for about 2 minutes per side.
5. Slice in a diagonal and enjoy.

Enjoy with a nice root beer float. Just try not to be too creeped out by the glances from the Big Boy.

Right off the bat, I was a little concerned that the sandwich wasn't actually deep fried. My lofty expectations of an Elvis Presley creation were smashed. Then, I bit into the sandwich and was pleasantly surprised at how delectable it was. Peanut butter and banana is always a winning combination, but surrounding it with the crunch of our fried toast and that hint of butter really makes you just want to retire to sweat pants (or a nice sparkly jump suit) and call it a night. Along with our Abita Root Beer float, this sandwich gave me heart palpitations which I can only attribute to love, proving that anytime you can take culinary advice from a man who died on the toilet, you just have to.

My dad takes an artful picture of me eating the sandwich with my iPhone. Parents with technology are just so adorable.

Mom's Diner: Chili Cheese Fries

Sadly, my mom did not acquire a Bob's Big Boy suit for me to take proper pictures. Sigh, I thought she loved me.

I recently took a road trip back home to Louisiana to see my parents and some friends. Naturally, a team-up with the first person whose cooking I ever enjoyed was in order, putting an interesting spin on my usual hibernation pattern of eating lots and sleeping for 12 hours at a time that usually occurs when back home. My mom was anxious to show off her new diner themed kitchen (and to finally cook with me where I'm actually contributing instead of sitting there and snacking). Since, like me, my mother doesn't understand self-control (there's probably something about an apple pie and a tree to be said about that), four amazing calorie-filled dishes were born. Chili Cheese Fries, Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches, Apple Pie and Cajun Eggs Benedict helped my mom assert that if she brought me into this world, she could sure as hell take me out of it with heart disease.

My parents enjoy their new diner kitchen (and the alcohol in those mimosas). 

Chili Cheese Fries
Adapted from Rachel Ray
Servings: 4
Time: 45 minutes

Add caption

4 large Idaho potatoes, cut lengthwise into 6 wedges
2 tbsp grill seasoning
2 tbsp plus 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided

Chili
2 1/2 lbs lean ground sirloin
1 large onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tbsp chili powder
2 tsp ground cumin
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Butter would become a theme of the weekend

1 can Rotel tomato sauce
1 can regular Rotel (with diced tomatoes and green chilies)
2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 bottle dark beer (we used Abita Amber)

Cheese Sauce
3 tbsp butter
3 tbsp flour
2 tbsp yellow mustard
1 cup milk
1 cup chicken stock
2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese

After quite some time, we finally had chili with the proper thickness.

Cheese sauce: nuff said

1. Preheat the oven to 450 F.
2. Place the potato wedges on a baking sheet. Drizzle them with olive oil and toss to coat.
3. Bake in the oven until crispy golden brown (approximately 40 minutes), turning once halfway through.
4. While waiting for the fries, start your chili by heating 2 tbsp olive oil in a large pot. Add the ground sirloin and cook until browned. Make sure you break the meat into small pieces.
5. Push the meat to the side and add the onion, garlic, chili powder and cumin. Sauté until the onion and garlic softens (about 6 minutes) then season with salt and pepper.
6. Stir in the tomato sauce and Rotel. Continue cooking for about a minute or until a sweet smell and slight carmelization occur. 
7. Pour in the beer and Worcestershire sauce and let simmer until well thickened.
8. Melt the butter in a separate pot. Sprinkle in the flour and cook for a minute. 
9. Mix in the mustard. Then whisk in the milk and stock until thickened. 
10. Remove the pot from heat and stir in the cheese.
11. Top your fries with the chili and cheese sauce and enjoy.

You can practically see the calories.

First, I'd like to point out (as my mother did so many times) that the fries are actually baked, so they're not that bad for you (also, since the cheese is in sauce form, the same surely applies). This was quintessential diner food at its best. The fries had a nice crispness to them that was perfectly complimented by the hearty chili and gooey cheese sauce for some unbelievable salty goodness. The chili was so good that it would've worked fine on its own, but the slight hint of mustard from the cheese sauce really brought things to another level. This messy dish had us off to a nearly flawless start, but the best was yet to come. Stay tuned for more whacky adventures at Mom's diner (think the Pumpkin and Honey Bunny scene from Pulp Fiction).

Hatch Chile Extravaganza: Hatch Pork Chops with Hatch & Avocado Puree

The mind is a most wondrous thing. Unfortunately, mine has been terribly addled by my crippling sugar addiction, making this attempt to write about a meal Kevin, Nancy and I made well over a month ago (we'll just call September a wash blog-wise and blame it on a case of writer's meat block) quite the challenge. Now that I've properly hyped it, here is the conclusion of our Hatch Chile Extravaganza, the only entree strong enough to stand up to the delectableness of Hatch Chile Mac & Cheese- Hatch Pork Chops served on top of a hatch and avocado puree.

Hatch Pork Chops with Hatch & Avocado Puree
Adapted from Central Market
Servings: 4
Time: 60 minutes

We looked at this pic for 5 minutes to try to remember what we put in the marinade.

Pork Chops
4 Pork Chops (we used pork ribeyes)
Roasted hatch chiles
Olive oil
Salt
Pepper
Red Chili Flakes
Garlic

Puree
5 hatch chiles, roasted, skinned and stemmed
1 small avocado, peeled and pitted
1 tsp honey
Juice of one lime
2 tbsp vegetable oil
Salt and pepper

1. Mix the hatch chiles, olive oil, salt, pepper, red chili flakes and garlic together in a food processor and blend well.
2. Marinade the pork chops in the hatch chile mix for at least half an hour.
3. Grill the pork chops for ~8 minutes per side.
4. Combine the remaining hatch chiles, avocado, honey, lime juice, vegetable oil, salt and pepper in a blender and puree well. 
5. Attempt to make a fancy streak of puree on the plate, then give up after realizing the avocado is prohibiting this.
6. Lay your grilled pork chops on top of the puree.
7. Make sure each bite is complimented by the awesome hatch chile and avocado hybrid.

It looks like guac, so you know it has to be good.

Chiles plus avocado can only lead to glorious things, and this was certainly the case with our main course. The pork chop themselves were hearty Texas-sized chunks of porkulation with a nice hit of flavor from the hatch chiles and a gentle kick from the red chili flakes. What was a good chunk of meat was turned into something memorable as soon as it was perched atop the hatch puree. Our puree essentially acted like a guacamole that was slightly sweetened by the honey that provided extra moisture and flavor to our chops compliments of the fantastic roasted hatch chiles. It worked so well, that I could see it going on plenty of different meat options (or tortilla chips). Together with our mac & cheese, we had a fancy meal worthy of fine dining to liven up our footballless Monday night (yup, it was that long ago that the season hadn't started yet). Fear not loyal readers, there's plenty more to come from my September of adventures including not one, not two, not three but four down home recipes from my episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives with my mom and some bacon loaded pizza from California.

The finished meal. Nancy's green beans rounded things out and kept up the color theme.

Good bye, roasted hatch chiles. We'll see you next year (when you can finally use this recipe!).