Harry Potter Marathon Weekend: Robin and the Goblet of Butterbeer

This weekend, the dark forces of cold weather and laziness combined in a epic battle culminating in Robin and I deciding to spend our weekend watching all 8 Harry Potter Movies (that's about 20 hours of pure awesome). Unfortunately, we couldn't spend the weekend just watching movies; we also had to get our proper daily nutritional requirements of butter and sugar. As such, we decided we should make butterbeer (and we then decided we should go out and get rum, as it's what our potions professor would've wanted).

"Omg today's going to be so intense"- Robin describing our Sunday of The Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows I & II.

Butterbeer
Recipe adapted from The News Network Who Must Not Be Named
Servings: 4-6
Time: 1 hour (inactive for 50 minutes)

The secret is butter and sugar!

Butterbeer
1 cup dark brown sugar
2 tbsp water
6 tbsp butter
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
Pure Vanilla extract (optional)
Rum (optional, but come on!)
2 bottles of cream soda

Whipped Topping
1 cup heavy whipping cream
4 tbsp dark brown sugar
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
Cinnamon

This is shockingly the light part

1. Begin a truly awesome weekend involving a Harry Potter marathon.
2. Decide to spice things up around movie 4.
3. Make the butterbeer. Start by combining the brown sugar and water in a saucepan at medium heat. Bring it to a gentle boil and cook, stirring often. If you want to be fancy, you can let it get to 240 F on a candy thermometer, or you can just stop it once it looks like magic has happened.
4. Stir in the butter, salt and heavy whipping cream. Remove from heat and let come down to room temp.
5. While waiting for the butter sugar to come down to room temp, make up the whipped topping. Combine the heavy whipping cream, dark brown sugar, vanilla extract and a sprinkle of cinnamon in a mixer and ramp it up to high speed until peaks start to form. Cover and refrigerate until ready.
6. Get really excited that it's finally time to mix everything together.
7. Put ~ 3 tbsp of the sugar butter in a glass. Top with a small amount of cream soda and mix well. 
8. Add 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract if desired and the necessary amount of rum to convince you that these aren't just very empty calories as they will be helping you feel more magical.
9. Add additional cream soda (about half a bottle total per butterbeer). 
10. Drop some whipped cream on the cool mystical foam layer and enjoy. I recommend letting it sit for a couple of minutes to further mix.
11. Watch many, many more hours of Harry Potter.

The Stages of Mixing Butterbeer:

Try to not be tempted by the butter sugar mixture and avoid stopping at the diabetes shot portion.

Get the butter sugar mixed in well with the cream soda. 

Add more cream soda (and booze) to balance things out. Stop when you have enough awesome foam.

Top with the whipped cream. Bonus points if it kind of looks like the sorting hat.

The butterbeer was everything we could have hoped for as it was exactly what we imagined it would taste like. This refreshing, sugary treat resides somewhere in the land of a float, but is made even more amazing by the presence of rum. The true highlight (aside from the obvious butter sugar) was the powerful presence of vanilla, which really helped the whipped topping stand out.

I found myself quickly downing my butterbeer as it was far too delicious to show silly muggle traits like restraint. The only problem is that it does fall a little on the heavy side meaning you have to stop after 2 or so. This really was the perfect way to spend a wintery (for Houston at least) weekend with the girl who introduced me to Harry Potter.

Additional Highlights of Harry Potterthon 2014:

Discovering that the internet is just as perverted and gross as I thought when attempting to find out who the actress who played Ginny got engaged to from the Potterverse.

Red wine staining my walls to fit perfectly with the darker tone of the final movies. Robin merely laughed after my recliner fell over and this happened. Oh, well, it's just a security deposit.

Robin and Terry's Definitive Ranking of Movies and Books

Books (best to worst)

Robin: 3, 4, 6, 7, 5, 2, 1

Terry: 4, 6, 3, 7, 5, 2, 1

Movies (best to worst)

Robin: Refuses to give a definitive ranking of the movies because "In our relationship I read more and you watch movies more"

Terry: 4, 3, 7B, 6, 5, 7A, 2, 1

Once Upon a Time in Laura's Kitchen: Amaretto Lime Tres Leches

All the leches may have caused minor droopage and made it slightly less photogenic...

Since Laura was teaching me how to make the perfect Mexican Dinner with her Puerco and Veggie Pibil, the least I could do was help finish the night with the Perfect Mexican dessert-Tres Leches. As this was a special day (read: I've already written up normal tres leches and I needed more material), I decided to try a bold, new approach to the milky goodness. I would transform it with amaretto and lime.

Would my going off book pay off or would everyone be content to simply go into a meat coma after dinner?

Amaretto Lime Tres Leches
Adapted from Alton Brown
Previously seen in non Amaretto Lime form Here
Servings: 1 9"x13" Cake
Time: 3+ hours (inactive for 2+)

Spongy batter

Cake
Vegetable Oil
6 3/4 oz cake flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp sea salt
4 oz unsalted butter, room temp
8 oz sugar
5 large eggs
1tbsp Amaretto
Juice of 1 lime
Zest of 2-3 limes

Find the lime zest!

Glaze
1 12 oz can evaporated milk
1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 cup half-andphalf

Frosting
2 cups heavy whipping cream
8 oz sugar
1 tbsp Amaretto
Zest of 3 limes (about 1 tbsp)
Strawberries, Raspberries, Blackberries and Blueberries

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. Lightly oil and flour a 9"x13" metal baking pan.
3. Whisk the cake flour, baking powder and salt together in a bowl (note: all measurements are by weight).
4. Beat the butter in a mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy.
5. Slowly incorporate the sugar with the butter at low speed. 
6. Mix in the eggs one at a time until fully incorporated.
7. Add in the amaretto, lime juice and lime zest.
8. Gradually mix in the dry ingredients at low speed, taking care not to overmix.
9. Pour the batter into the pan and bake for 20-25 minutes or until the toothpick test comes back clean.
10. Poke holes throughout the cake with a fork and let it cool.
11. Once cooled, whisk the glaze ingredients together in a bowl and pour it over the cake.
12. Refrigerate covered for at least 2 hours (the longer the better).
13. Make the frosting by whisking the whipping cream, sugar, amaretto and lime zest together at medium speed until peaks start to form. Then, ramp it up to high speed until it thickens.
14. Spread the whipped cream over the cake and top with berries.
15. Realize that the whipping cream really makes this cuatro leches and have your mind blown!

None of the other guests realized how close they were to not getting dessert as I debated diving in face first like a pie eating contest.

Tres leches truly is a marvel of the cake world. It's an incredibly simple cake to make, and it looks unbelievably unassuming. All that hidden milk (well, at least it's usually more hidden than you'll see below) somehow manages to transform it into a dessert like no other. In order to make this version, I took my previously used normal tres leches recipe and subbed amaretto for vanilla (at a slightly higher rate) and added in some lime zest and lime juice (but only use juice in the batter unless you want some ugly curdled whipped cream).

I had a sneaking suspicion that this may be packed with leches.

This tres leches was absolutely bursting with flavor (and milk...). The lime completely transformed it into a memorable dessert. I would say unfortunately the amaretto got lost in the mix, but it really didn't matter. This cake tasted incredible without really being able to notice the amaretto (although I'm sure it still contributed to the awesome). Double dousing the lime also led to an even more refreshing whipped cream topping. In a few short minutes, 3/4 of the cake were quickly decimated, which had me feeling quite good about its success, but then I received the greatest compliment ever as Blaine exclaimed "It has a Froot Loops aftertaste, and I mean that in a good way!" Yes, I had finally found the perfect dessert to get to the heart of everyone's inner six year old's love of fruity, sugary milk. Take that Alton Brown and your normal, boring Tres Leches!

I was proven correct. Welcome to tres leches soup! Toucan Sam would be proud.

Now that was one day of cooking, eating and enjoying tasty cocktails (compliments of our other former RA, Kevin) that will be hard to top anytime soon. Stay tuned later this week as Kevin (the non former RA) and I begin our journey into the mysterious world of the crock pot.

Kevin enjoys a delightfuly refreshing cocktail compliments of Kevin the RA. Now let's hope he knows as much about crock pot cooking as he does about looking super manly.

Once Upon a Time in Laura's Kitchen: Puerco (and Veggie) Pibil

Back in my young and impressionable college days, there was always one person I could count on to stock me up with free candy and pop culture, Laura the RA. Her guacamole was the stuff of legend, and her impressive DVD collection rivaled my own. In the 7 years since I finished college, she may have moved on from her RAdom, but she hasn't stopped buying our friendship with food and booze. This past weekend, she let me in on her most famous meal- Puerco Pibil a la Once Upon a Time in Mexico (a meal so good that Johnny Depp's character killed the chef who made the most perfect version of it ever).

Was Laura just using me to make the massive amounts of prep manageable? Would I be attacked by surprise banana leaf spiders? Could I butcher 5 lbs of raw pork butt without getting completely grossed out? or Would I have a delightful day of cooking, eating and Cards Against Humanity?

Puerco (or Arroz or Veggie) Pibil
From Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Servings: 8-10 (per type)
Time: 6+ hours (4 inactive)

Oh so many spices in one now destroyed coffee grinder

5 tbsp achiote seeds
2 tsp cumin seeds
8 whole allspice
1 tbsp whole black pepper
1/2 tsp cloves
3-4 habanero peppers (deveined and deseeded with gloves)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup white vinegar
2 tbsp salt
10 garlic cloves
Juice of 5 lemons
2-3 splashes of good tequila
5 lbs pork butt or chicken breast, cut into 1-2" cubes
or assorted veggies (parsnips, purple potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots and mushrooms), chopped
Banana leaves, rinsed with the stems cut off.
Tortillas and/or rice

My aversion to touching raw meat, Laura's dull knives and 5 lbs of bone-in pork butt were about to put my butchering skills to the test.

Watch for spiders!

Pretty veggies!

1. Put on awesome Mexican music.
2. Preheat the oven to 325 F.
3. Grind the achiote seeds, cumin, allspice, whole black pepper and cloves together in a coffee grinder (and then never use for coffee again).
4. Combine the habanero peppers, orange juice, vinegar, salt, garlic with the ground spice mix in a blender until very smooth.
5. Add in the lemon juice and tequila (you can keep adding more to balance out the spice).
6. Start hating your friend Laura for her poor knives while attempting to butcher the meat and/or veggies.
7. Marinade the meat and/or veggies in large bowls for at least half an hour.
8. Cover the bottom of a 9"x13" glass baking pan with a banana leaf. Place another, extra long banana leaf going across the width of the pan (it should probably be about three times the width of the pan so you can later fold it over (like you would a letter). 
9. Pour the meat or veggies on top of the banana leaves. Fold the leaves over to cover.
10. Wrap tightly in aluminum foil so no steam can escape then cook for at least 4 hours.
11. Lazily lay on the couch and let the amazing smell take over your house while you try to fight the pibil-lust and successfully wait the 4 hours.
12. Spoon the amazingly tender, seasoned goodness on top of tortillas or rice and enjoy.

I've gotta admit, a little part of me that believes in a magic was really hoping I'd find whole bananas had grown when I opened it up.

Getting this dish to the oven may have taken a lot of hard work, but it was absolutely worth it. The finished product was perfection. Opening up those banana leaves was like Christmas for our senses of smell. The pork and chicken were masterfully spiced and beautifully tender. Whether on rice or inside of a warm tortilla, you couldn't go wrong.

Get in close to really smell the awesome.

The real surprise, though, might have been that the veggies were actually the best part. They drank up the spicy tequila mix much like our former college selves, and became super soft and tasty (special props to the potato members of the dish). Ideally, I'd say the best way to go about this meal would be to make two batches of the marinade, one for the pork and one for the veggies. My third and final taco (I would've had at least 12 if not for saving room for dessert) consisted of a pork and veggie combo that was far and away the best of the night.  Waiting paid off in the end as we were treated to a truly great dinner. In the future, I'd definitely like to fully test my patience by letting these cook for an entire day and then seeing if the taste-time continuum folded in on itself from becoming super saturated with deliciousness.

Notice the lack of juice because these awesome veggies absorbed all that amazing flavor (they really love tequila).

Stay tuned for the conclusion of Once Upon a Time in Laura's Kitchen: Amaretto Lime Tres Leches.

A Very Vegan Gluten-Free Christmas: Cucidatis

For our California Christmases, one tradition stands above all others- the sugar bomb known as the cucidati. A staple of our childhood ever since the St. Joseph's altars of our Catholic school days, these fig cookies joyously came back into our lives several years ago in one amazing holiday season that saw at least 3 batches being made and promptly enjoyed.

This year, we had the added challenge of transitioning our favorite diabetic coma in convenient handheld form into a gluten-free treat. Would the cucidati successfully make this leap in desserty evolution, or would Christmas be ruined?

Cucidatis
Adapted from Food.com
Previously seen here in gluteny form
Servings: 12-16 thumbprint cookies
Time: 90 minutes (inactive for 45 of that)

2 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour
3/4 tbsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup vegan veggie shortening
1/2 large egg substitute (Ener-G)
1/2 tbsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup soy milk + more for icing
Fig Jam
Powdered sugar
Almond extract
Colored sprinkles

What they normally look like without thumbprint intervention.

1. Sift the flour, baking powder and salt together in a bowl.
2. Stir in the sugar.
3. Cut in the shortening with a pastry blender or cut it into small pieces and mash into the flour mixture by hand until it resembles corn meal.
4. Beat the egg substitute, vanilla and soy milk together in a separate bowl.
5. Add the egg mixture to the flour in a stand mixer and mix for about 3 minutes until a soft dough forms.
6. Divide into two pieces and refrigerate in plastic wrap for 45 minutes.
7. Preheat the oven to 375 F.
8. Roll one piece of dough out at a time into 12" squares on a floured surface.
9. Get increasingly angry as the dough continually breaks apart.
10. Have your sister save Christmas by forming them into thumbprint cookies instead (make a small round cookie and press down on the center with your thumb).
11. Fill the thump print in with fig jam.
12. Place on a cookie sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes or until they begin to golden.
13. Let cool on a wire rack.
14. Mix soy milk with copious amounts of powdered sugar and ~1 tsp of almond extract (or really however much you want that almond finish. Just be careful. A little goes a long way). The end result should be smooth and fairly thick.
15. Ice the tops of each cucidati cookie and sprinkle with fun colors. Be sure to sprinkle them quickly before the icing dries and magnificently repels the sprinkles off.
16. Enjoy a minimum of 4 at a time and then curse the terrible sugar crash.

Literally everyone wanted to get their hands on them.

Initially, all hope seemed lost. Two attempts at making cucidatis proved unsuccessful, and our bodies were shaking with the need for sugar. Then, my sister got a truly inspired idea. These cucidatis didn't have to look like cucidatis, they simply had to taste like them! (I'm pretty sure we saw a light bulb magically appear.) By turning these into thumbprint cookies, we were able to stuff our mouths jam-packed with all the sugar our inner child ever desired. Now, I have just under a year to perfect these as a gluten-free dessert. My current thought is that the dough just isn't as well formed with the gluten-free all-purpose flour and other alternative flours need to be explored (with almond flour being the suspected savior). Unfortunately, this means I have batches upon batches of cucidatis to consume. I just hope I'm up to the challenge...

Lowercase "q" enjoys his first Christmas and his awesome new balcony yard

Our Very Vegan Gluten-Free Christmas surpassed all my initially skeptical expectations. We had several amazing days of fine meals, family, and Christmas classics (like The X-Files). Do we really have to wait all year for it to come again?

A Very Vegan Gluten-Free Christmas: Butterscotch Budino

Now that our bellies were properly stuffed with holiday cheer (and by that I mean Okra Gumbo and Heart of Palm "Crab" Cakes), it was time to move on to the true meaning of Christmas- Desserts! In proper old soulness, butterscotch has always been a favorite pudding (and hard candy) flavor for my sister and me. The chance to combine that with chunks of salt and cookies proved to be too much to resist (how happy must doctors be that we now like putting large chunks of salt with our already terrible desserts?). It was time to get cooking with some Christmas spirits (see what I did there!??!).

Butterscotch Budino
Adapted from Olives for Dinner
Servings: 6-8
Time: 20 minutes (plus cooling)

1/2 cup Earth Balance
3 tsp Ener-G
3 tbsp cornstarch
1 1/2 cups unsweetened soymilk, divided
1 cup soy creamer (So Delicious Coconut Creamer recommended)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar, packed
1 tbsp whiskey (Jameson's claims to be gluten-free)
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Coarse Sea Salt, for serving
Gluten-free cookies

1. Melt the Earth Balance over low heat in a medium saucepan.
2. Mix 1 cup of the soymilk with the cornstarch and Ener-G in a separate bowl. Whisk well until all lumps are removed.
3. Add the milk mixture to the melted butter and whisk until well incorporated. Increase to medium-low heat.
4. In a separate bowl (or your same just used one), combine the remaining 1/2 cup soymilk, creamer and sugars until smooth. 
5. Add this to the saucepan, whisking frequently. Let the mixture come to a light boil then remove it from heat.
6. Stir in the whiskey and vanilla extract. Cover and cool in the fridge until ready to serve (I recommend at least 2 hours).
7. Debate what to do with the remaining bottle of whiskey while you wait for the for the budino to cool and set. It's a long 2 hours.
8. Serve with a cookie and a sprinkling of coarse sea salt distributed nicely throughout.

The budino was incredibly rich and creamy. Whiskey and vanilla are always a winning combination for desserty goodness, which was only bolstered further by the always enjoyable surprise bursts from the salt crystals. Our store bought gluten-free cookie added some welcome and necessary texture to the dessert, but they definitely lagged behind in the flavor department (fortunately, we had previously made much more successful chocolate chip and brownie cookies). Our pudding course turned out to be incredibly successful (aside from some minor lumps that really only affected aesthetics) and the ultimate way to push ourselves that final inch into a proper holiday food coma. Like a good Christmas miracle, my mom even found a creative use for it the next morning at breakfast.

Our Christmas breakfast of waffles with apple compote, tofu scramble and rosemary roasted potatoes, or, as my mother saw it, the perfect vessel for the leftover budino (don't worry, she just put it on the waffles, but I fear what she'd have done had we not been there to judge).

Coming up, the final and most important entry in a Very Vegan Gluten-Free Christmas- our annual Cucidatis! Can they hold up in this harsh new gluten-free world?