Sunday, March 29, 2015

Pi Day: Bayou Goo Pie


Saturdays in high school were spent on the battlefield. Legends were forged and Letterman Jackets were earned one equation at a time at Mu Alpha Theta math competitions across the state of Louisiana. The pressure was enough to snap your perfectly sharpened number two pencil and make you throw your TI-86 across the room (something I saw happen more than once).  The mathletes needed a leader, and as their president I was there to guide the way to glory.  I answered to only one person (aside from Pythagoras), and that was Mrs. Vedros. Whether putting up with a bunch of teenagers randomly serenading her with "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" at the Math State Convention Dance (yeah you wish you could have been there) or giving us moon pies to teach us about the importance of Pi Day, she was always there to make sure math won the day.

Some of the finest Mathletes the state of Louisiana has ever seen: (L to R) Eric, Thienan, Perry "P-Squared", and yours truly holding the massive trophy. I know it's hard to believe, but we were all single when this picture was taken.

Despite having the blog for over three years now, I had never properly celebrated Pi Day (aside from Kevin's write-up of Bumbleberry Pie). As this was the ultimate once in a century Pi Day extending all the way out to four decimal places (3.1415), I was not going to settle for another year of staring longingly at other people's pies on Facebook. I was going to recreate one of the greatest dessert concoctions from the pie Eden known as House of Pies that started it all and make my fellow mathletes proud.

Me in all my glory in high school (far left) receiving my outstanding math student award from Mrs. Vedros. Sadly my killer (and against the Catholic school dress code) side burns cannot be properly admired.

Bayou Goo Pie
Filling adapted from Real Cajun Recipes and Crust from All Recipes
Servings: 1 ~ 28.3" circumference Pie
Time: 20 minutes (plus setting in the fridge overnight or at least 2 hours)

Crust
1 1/2 cups finely ground graham cracker crumbs
1/3 cup sugar
6 tbsp butter, melted
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

Filling and Topping
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
8 oz Cool Whip (separated)
1 (4 oz) box chocolate instant pudding
1 (4 oz) box vanilla instant pudding
2 cups milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup milk chocolate chips (separated)
Cocoa powder, sifted
Amazing graham cracker crust ready in under 15 minutes.  

Calculate the proper dish depth or be "forced" to eat the excess
  1. Preheat the oven to 375 F.
  2. Make the easiest crust ever by mixing the graham cracker crumbs, sugar, butter, and cinnamon together in a bowl.  Press the mix into a 9" pie tin. Bake for 7-10 minutes until golden and crisp.
  3. Let cool to a level greater than or equal to how awesome you were in high school.
  4. Make the first layer by combining the cream cheese, powdered sugar, and half of the cool whip using the whisk attachment of an electric mixer. 
  5. Stir in half the chocolate chips and fill in the first layer of pie.
  6. In a separate bowl, whisk the puddings, milk, and vanilla together. Stir in the chocolate chips, and let set for 5 minutes.
  7. Create a pudding layer on top of the cream cheese layer. Cover and let set over night.
  8. Top with the remaining cool whip and dust on some cocoa powder.
  9. Relive your glory days in math club while enjoying a delightful slice.
The pie should be filled with peaks, like those that we fortunately did not reach in high school.
For being by far the easiest pie to make, this also just may have been the tastiest as it stacked up quite nicely to its House of Pies inspiration. The graham cracker crust was a departure from the standard pecan crust of a Bayou Goo pie, but it did invoke the childhood sensation of eating s'mores. Future attempts could involve using both graham cracker and pecan in the crust at 0.927 and 0.573 cups, respectively, for a beautiful golden ratio achieving the best of all worlds. Resting gloriously above that crust lies the amazing cream cheese and chocolate vanilla layers (reminiscent of Black and White Cupcakes). My only regret (other than not having a kiddie pool filled with it) was that my pie dish was not deep enough to allow for maximum enjoyment of all layers.

Attempts to calculate the rate of consumption were hindered by its exponentially growing nature due to optimal deliciousness.
While enjoying my Pi Day creation, I took some time to think back fondly on my Mu Alpha Theta days. Some of my best high school experiences were those weekends where my fellow square pegs and I got to forget about our lack of sports acumen at a school that best resembled Varsity Blues meets Friday Night Lights and come together to kick some scantron ass. From Thienan's and my attempts to see how many times we could karaoke Sk8er Boi on the bus before even our fellow geeks turned against us (the answer is about 3) to coming in second to what I am still convinced is the world's first sentient robot in FACTORIAL!, a Jeopardy like event at State, thanks to my encyclopedic movie knowledge to Perry and I pushing each other with our rivalry to be the smartest mathlete around driving us to new, mathier heights, I will never forget all the fun times we had just being ourselves. We were nerds, and we loved it. We even have the trophies to prove it.

Next up: Mole Day!

Two Mu Alpha Theta presidents partaking in some Quiz Bowl and most likely answering the question "Who is the most awesome mathlete of them all?".

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Brinner Madness: Sriracha Waffles


In this period of life transition where I currently reside, I have come up with a new life goal- to make waffles more often (Yep, I'm definitely getting a little ambitious over here. It's a good thing that I'm too young to run for president...). Perhaps I am overcompensating for the loss of my beloved Parks and Rec, or maybe my body is expressing its cravings for delicious breakfast-fare that my usual granola bar as I leave the house just can't satisfy.

Tonight I found myself in a brinner kind of mood, and it was time to try a savory waffle after the previous two Funfetti and Chocolate varieties. Could I find inspiration in the ghosts of Kimchi Pancakes from long ago and deliver a spicy dish worthy of the sriracha name?

Sriracha Waffles
Heavily Modified from All Recipes
Servings: 4-6 waffles
Time: 20 minutes

1 egg, beaten
If it doesn't appear super-saturated with sriracha, then you're not done.
1 cup plus 2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp granulated sugar
2 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt
3/4 cup and 2 tbsp milk
1/4 cup vegetable or canola oil
1/2 white onion, diced
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced
Sriracha, to taste (but use loads of it)
Turkey sausage patties
Eggs, fried or poached
Cheddar cheese, grated
Black Pepper


  1. Beat the eggs, flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, milk, and oil together in a medium bowl until a smooth batter forms.
  2. Mix in tons of sriracha. Then just when you think you have enough, put at least 25% more.
  3. Stir in the jalapeno and onion.
  4. Pour into a preheated waffle iron until crispy and golden ~5 minutes. These are best served fresh for maximum crispness, but you can keep them warm in an oven preheated to 200 F while you work through the batches.
  5. Top with sausage patties, egg, cheese, black pepper, and additional sriracha.
Feel free to just roll it up and eat it like street food at this point. 
By itself, this spicy waffle would make a wonderful hand-held snack, but combined with the day starting power of sausage, a poached egg, and cheese, this became a hearty meal for the ages deserving of a spot amongst the Brinner of the Gods (I'm also pretty sure I figured out Taco Bell's next big campaign). The crispy veggie filled waffle provided exactly the spicy sriracha goodness I was hoping for and should be wrapped around all breakfast foods imaginable, while the gooey ruptured poached egg brought each and every bite together in beautiful breakfast-y harmony. Sometimes, it's good to succeed at your life's goals no matter how insignificant or delicious they may be.

Is there any greater satisfaction in life than breaking an egg yolk? Feel the power!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Here's to Leslie Knope: Funfetti and Chocolate Waffles


For the past seven years, Parks and Rec has provided countless half hours of pure joy. More so than any show on television, it was about hope and never left you without smile on your face the size of Lil' Sebastian. From Duke Silver to Bert Macklin to Jean-Ralphio, Parks always found a ridiculous way to make us laugh. When it came time to both celebrate fellow Parks fanatic (and award winning shortbread decorator) Kathryn's birthday as well as watch the finale, we knew what we had to do (sorry, Ben, but calzones just aren't dessert food). The result was an amazingly delicious night of birthday waffles that would have made the world's greatest fake public servant, Leslie Knope, proud.

For the life of me, I will never understand why Jerry Terry Garry looks so sad here.

Funfetti Waffles
Adapted from Celebrations.com
Time: 20 minutes
Servings: 3-4 large waffles

Now you have to decide if it goes in a cake pan or a waffle iron
Waffles
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup Funfetti Cake mix
3 tbsp baking powder
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp  salt
1 1/4 cups milk
1 egg
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
Colorful sprinkles to your heart's content

Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
4 tbsp Funfetti Cake mix
4 tbsp milk
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
Even more colorful sprinkles, preferably shaped like dinosaurs


  1. Preheat your oven to 200 F.
  2. Whisk the flour, cake mix, baking powder, sugar, and salt together in a medium bowl. 
  3. Make a well and add in the eggs, milk, olive oil, and vanilla extract. 
  4. Whisk together until a thick batter forms. 
  5. Stir in extra sprinkles to make it more colorful.
  6. Add ~ 1/3 of the mix to a hot waffle iron coated with cooking spray and cook until the waffle is easily removed (typically ~3-5 minutes). Keep waffles warm in the oven after they're done.
  7. Make the glaze by whisking all the ingredients together in a bowl. Change it to your desired consistency by adding milk or powdered sugar. The current recipe is on the thick side.
  8. Prove to the world that bringing your sprinkles with you during your move was the best choice ever and decorate the hell out of some waffles.
Layer upon layer of sugar the way god intended. 
Of our two waffles, I think these were the most up Leslie's alley. It's a waffle made of cake! The funfetti taste (and of course fun) really came through in this unique sugar bomb that held the distinction of being the birthday girl's favorite. Plus it finally gave me a chance to prove to Robin that bringing all of my sprinkles with me during the move was not in fact insane (dinosaur sprinkles all the way!). My only regret was that we have a thinner waffle maker and these would have been even more caketastic in larger, Belgium Waffle form.

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Waffles
Adapted from Alton Brown
Time: 20 minutes
Servings: 6-8 large waffles

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3 tbsp sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
3 eggs at room temp, beaten
2 oz unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
16 oz buttermilk, room temp
Milk chocolate chips
Whipped cream
Raspberries


  1. Preheat your oven to 200 F.
  2. Whisk the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt, and baking soda together in a large bowl.
  3. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs, melted (and cooled) butter, vanilla, and buttermilk together. Make sure to have these near room temp, or your batter may take on a weird consistency.
  4. Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients and whisk well.
  5. Stir in the chocolate chips.
  6. Ladle the desired amount into the waffle iron and let cook until finished (typically around 3-5 minutes). Keep waffles warm in the oven until finished.
  7. Apply a small, yet pretty amount of whipped cream and raspberries for the picture. Immediately add a Leslie Knope-ian amount once said pictures are taken.
Picture showcases ~1/10 of the final amount of whipped cream used while eating.
For Robin and I, these chocolate waffles won the night. The perfect amount of chocolate soothed us while we said goodbye to our favorite show, but it also allowed us to have tons of fun with a can of whipped cream while we made sure each bite of waffle was properly covered (and then washed them down with some straight from the source). These were great for the size/texture that our waffle maker produces, and they blew away my previous attempt at chocolate waffles.

Parks taught us many important life lessons like the love of breakfast foods
These waffles provided us with a proper sendoff for our most beloved Parks crew, while they in turn gave us one of the most brilliant and rewarding finales ever. I thought I was going to be sad to see my tv friends go, but I was too busy being excited and smiling yet again while watching their pitch perfect futures. Goodbye, Pawnee, and thanks for everything!

I now leave you with the immortal wisdom of Leslie Knope.


"We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third."