Monday, March 31, 2014

Orange Ginger Shrimp with Orzo Kale Salad


Following my week away with Robin at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, we found ourselves desperately craving something healthy. Apparently filling yours days with butterbeer, pizza, barbecue, candy from Honeydukes and actual beer leaves your body craving the precious nutrients only green things can provide (sadly, green gummy worms somehow do not count). 

Cauldron Cupcakes and Butterbeer- just two of the many treats of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Note: our butterbeer from a few months ago was way tastier (and far more alcoholic). Go us!
After our 6 and a half hour drive back to Charleston was finally over, we stopped at the grocery store to pick up healthy eats. The result was the incredibly delightful and rejuvenating Orzo Kale Salad. It was so good (and my body still needed so many more nutrients) that I made it again upon my return to Houston with a little protein assist from some quick and easy Orange Ginger Shrimp (since we found just eating the orzo kale salad led to further snacking).

This display in Zonko's Joke Shop accurately describes how you may feel after a vacation of eating like a kid.

Orzo Kale Salad
Adapted from Whole Foods
Servings: 8
Time: 60 minutes (inactive for 30)

The kale is taking over!
1 packet orzo
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
1 1/4 lb heirloom tomatoes, chopped
~ 6 kale leaves (sprigs?), de-stemmed and chopped
1/2 red onion, diced
2 1/2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
3/4 tsp fine sea salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp ginger, minced
1/2 cup basil leaves, torn

  1. Prepare the orzo according to the instructions (usually boil in water for about 10 minutes). Then drain and run under cold water to cool.
  2. Toss the orzo in a large bowl with the tomatoes, kale, onion and 1 tbsp of olive oil.
  3. Whisk the remaining olive oil, lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper and ginger together in a small bowl and pour into the salad. Add the basil and toss again.
  4. Chill covered in the fridge for at least half an hour.
  5. Feel super healthy.

I can practically feel all the sugar leaving my body just looking at it.
The orzo kale salad was incredibly fresh and delicious, and it smelled awesome. The earthy, crunchy kale complimented the smooth orzo, juicy tomatoes, and powerful basil, while the acidic dressing helped pack a punch and bring it all together in a nice harmony. Overall, this is an amazing side that just needs the right protein partner to make it into a full meal. Just be careful not to let the kale take over (since I apparently have no idea how much kale actually magically generates once you cut it).

Orange Ginger Shrimp
Servings: 4
Time: 70 minutes (inactive for most)

1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined
Juice of 2 oranges
1 tbsp ginger, minced
4 cloves garlic, minced
Salt and Pepper
Olive Oil


  1. Marinate the shrimp in the orange juice, ginger, garlic, salt and pepper covered in the fridge for an hour.
  2. Heat olive oil in a pan over medium heat.
  3. Remove most of the marinade from the shrimp and sauté in the olive oil 2-3 minutes per side until opaque and orange.
  4. Drizzle a little of the oil mix on top of the shrimp and serve.
They're just as simple as they look.
The shrimp was fairly noncomplex, but the protein needed to be to help the salad stand out. The ginger and orange exist as merely subtle hints in the background, but those traces really help it go with our acidic salad without overwhelming you. If you want to make this on its own, I'd suggest trying to turn the marinade into a glaze (add some corn starch that's mixed in well with juice/water). Really, though, you should just give in like I did as soon as I took all the fancy pics and mix the shrimp and salad together.

A more exciting action angle. Also, special shout out to Kevin's fancy display plate and to me for never returning it.
Despite its simplicity, this was an incredible meal that I look forward to having for the next several days as my body continues to detox from the vacation. Sacrificing our health for a few days was a small price to pay for a great getaway where we could feel and act like kids again, while also investing in our future (read: purchasing several wands and magic kits).
Our wands.  I can't decide whether or not I should be afraid that Robin thought Voldemort's was the coolest looking one.

Monday, March 24, 2014

4 Ingredient Nutella Espresso Brownies


Concluding my lazy, ingredient deficient Sunday, I made 4-Ingredient Brownies to truly test my belief in everything Buzzfeed tells me. I was extremely skeptical that the mere 3 ingredients suggested to me could make anything resembling a delightful treat, so I added an extra for good measure.

Would an evening of baking without tons of time consuming steps be enough to please my sweet tooth, or would it leave me feeling flat, much like brownies sans baking powder?

Nutella Espresso Brownies
Adapted from Kirbie's Cravings
Servings: Thin 9" round worth of brownies
Time: 20 minutes

1 1/4 cup Nutella
7 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tbsp espresso, finely ground
2 eggs
Is it actual batter or did I just spread Nutella across a baking dish?

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
  2. Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl until a smooth batter forms.
  3. Stare at the mixing bowl confused that there aren't a bunch more things to measure.
  4. Spread evenly into a lightly greased 9" round baking dish and flatten with a spatula.
  5. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until the toothpick test comes back clean. Cool in the dish on a wire rack.
After sitting overnight they formed an actual structure instead of just oozing out delicious Nutella.
At first, I was completely disappointed in these brownies, and my faith in the internet was seemingly forever shaken. The brownies didn't quite set in the oven and even after cooling appeared to be a gooey mess of Nutella (which isn't all that tragic of an outcome if you think about it). Fortunately, I decided to bring my bastardized baking into work the next day instead of throwing it out, and it was a huge hit. Overnight, this started to resemble a more standard fudgy brownie. The hazelnut and espresso combo was a massive success (and it should be since it's a great latte). Still, I can't help but think these could have been better with a few more ingredients. A little baking powder and extra flour to help these rise would have been nice. It also would've masked the grainy nature of the espresso a little better, as the ground coffee stood out amongst the otherwise smooth Nutella base. Despite these minor shortcomings, you can't really beat having tasty brownies ready to go in under 20 minutes with minimal effort.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Three Ingredient Honey Mustard Pretzel Chicken

Turn this into a complete meal with sriracha Brussels sprouts
Weekends are supposed to be a time of extreme laziness. Recently, we got a little overzealous with our cooking exploits (see Brinner of the Gods, Cowboy Burgers and Sushi Saturday). I didn't want to risk overdoing it right before my Harry Potter vacation week, so I was quite excited when Buzzfeed posted a bunch of 3-Ingredient Recipes (plus I needed a break from knowing what TV character I am).

Would this simple chicken dish hit the spot, or would it further cement my predisposition for excess?

Honey Mustard Pretzel Chicken
From Cooking With Cakes
Servings: 8 chicken tenders
Time: 90 minutes (inactive for 60)

8 Chicken breast tenders
2 cups honey mustard pretzel pieces (mine were actually honey mustard and onion)
Lite honey mustard dressing
Salt and Pepper to taste
If you want to be a jerk about it, we will debate until the ends of time whether this counts as 3 or 5 ingredients.
  1. Lightly season your tenders with salt and pepper.
  2. Cover with honey mustard dressing and let marinate in the fridge for at least an hour.
  3. Preheat your oven to 350 F.
  4. Turn your pretzel pieces into bread crumbs by pulsing in a food processor. Spread out on a plate.
  5. Shake off excess marinade from the tenders. Then coat them well with the pretzel crumbs.
  6. Place the tenders on a greased wire rack and bake for 20 minutes. Broil for an additional 2-3 minutes to help make them crispier.
  7. Serve with extra honey mustard dressing.
They look especially great before removing them from the wire rack you forgot to grease.
Honey mustard and onion pretzels just may be the greatest creation ever. Their unnatural yellow glow and breath destroying flavor make them impossible to resist, so surely they can only elevate any dish they are used in. My high hopes proved to not be unfounded, as these super easy chicken tenders were just about perfect. The chicken was cooked wonderfully, and the crunchy pretzel coating was a clear winner.  Even with additional honey mustard dressing for dipping, I just couldn't have enough of the sweetest yellow condiment around. My only regret was using up all the pretzels, destroying my future snacking hopes.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Dr. Pepper Braised Brisket Tacos


If not for the 10 hours worth of cooking time and my desire to be extremely lazy Saturday morning (read: I didn't want to put on pants to go to the store), this would have been my 200th post. I continued my weekend of delicious cooking with what was quite possibly the best slow cooker recipe I have ever tasted.  At last, I was able to combine my love of Dr. Pepper with my love of meat in one beautiful, tacoey union.

To me, you are perfect.
Dr. Pepper Braised Brisket Tacos
Adapted from Cooking Haven
Servings: 15+ tacos
Time: 10 hours (in a slow cooker for 9 of those)

Aye, there's the rub.
3 lbs beef brisket
1 tbsp paprika
1 tbsp dried chipotle powder
1 tbsp cumin
1tbsp salt
2 tsp black pepper
2 1/2 tsp garlic powder
3 tbsp canola oil
16 oz Dr. Pepper (I used fancy Dublin ones)
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
3 tbsp molasses
2/3 onion, diced
1 14 oz can diced tomatoes (I used fire-roasted)
1/2 cup jalapeno pepper jelly
2-4 cups beef stock, as necessary
Tortillas
Jalapenos, sliced
Avocado, sliced
Cilantro
Pickled onions (see recipe below)
Salsa


Silly brisket, you can't escape.

  1. Make your rub by mixing the paprika, chipotle powder, cumin, salt, black pepper and garlic powder together in a bowl. Apply the rub generously to both sides of the brisket.
  2. Get oil in a skillet hot over medium heat. Once hot, sear the brisket for about 4-5 minutes per side until it starts to brown. Remove.
  3. Mix the Dr. Pepper, vinegar, molasses, diced onions, tomatoes and pepper jelly well in a slow cooker. Add the brisket in and top with beef stock until just submerged.
  4. Cook covered on low for 8-9 hours.
  5. Spend your day being incredibly lazy to make up for the 30 minutes of effort you just put in.
  6. Remove the brisket from the liquid and let cool. Once cooled enough, pull with two forks.
  7. Transfer the liquid to a pot and reduce over medium-high heat to about half the volume. You're gonna have plenty of time to do this because it takes a while to pull all that brisket.
  8. Recombine the reduced liquid with the pulled brisket and warm over medium-low heat.
  9. Use a slotted spoon to serve the brisket and remove excess liquid (it's still going to be ridiculously juicy and worthy of 3+ napkins). Fill tortillas with the brisket and top with jalapenos, avocado, cilantro, pickled onions and salsa.
  10. Sit and eat in silence aside from "mmm" because everyone is busy stuffing their faces and calculating how much they could eat without feeling shame.
Fancy camera captures the awesome fresh out of the slow cooker steaming brisket.
Originally, this recipe called for root beer, but I have a special place in my heart for Dr. Pepper. Back in college, I used to keep a case of it in my room at all times (and I kept my room at 50 degrees, so I wouldn't have to refrigerate it because we were going to get the most out of our tuition paying the dorm's power bills). I don't often find myself drinking soda anymore, but I make time every now and then for Dr. Pepper (especially if it's the pure cane sugar Dublin variety in a fancy glass bottle).

Kevin's pulling skills are unmatched. Plus, it's a great forearm workout. 
The brisket itself smelled and looked excellent. It had that distinct brisket flavor that makes it the state meat of Texas, but it really excelled when it made its most joyous reunion with the reduced Dr. Pepper braising liquid. The chipotle powder infused rub, fire roasted tomatoes and molasses helped reconcile the brisket's BBQ origins with its current Tex-Mex use.

HEB fresh made tortillas are the way to go if you're in Texas.
The absolutely succulent Dr. Pepper brisket was the perfect taco filling. Its unbelievable melt in your mouth tenderness was kicked up even further with the creamy avocado, crunchy and spicy jalapeno and the perfectly pickled onions to make one of the greatest tacos I have ever eaten (and after 6 years of living in Texas, that's saying something). Nancy, Kevin and I sat at the table stuffed and contemplating justification for another. Fortunately, we all managed to stop at 3.

You can see how juicy it is. Note: your plate and hands will be covered by the time you're done savoring each and every bite.

Pickled Onions
Adapted from Inspired Taste
Servings: 2 onions worth (so a lot)
Time: 1 hour (inactive for 50 minutes)

2 red onions
1 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup lime juice
1/4 cup sugar
1 tbsp salt
Boring, unassuming red onions just waiting to be brined.
  1. Slice your onions into thin strips and place in a bowl or pot with handles.
  2. Bring a separate pot of water to a boil.
  3. Cover the onions in boiling water for 10 seconds then drain into a colander and set aside in another bowl.
  4. Heat the apple cider vinegar, lime juice, sugar and salt together until dissolved. 
  5. Brine the onions in the acidic mix and let come to room temperature. 
  6. Strain and serve. You should reserve the brine if you want to store for later use.
Pickled red onions turn such a pretty color.
I spent about as much time searching for pickled onions at the store as I did making them. Pickling is an incredibly easy process that produced quick, vibrant results. Note: only use these pickled onions with your tacos. By themselves, they are far too vinegary, but that aspect of them works quite well with the brisket.

From pickling onions to finding the greatest use for Dr. Pepper ever, it was an incredibly productive yet also lazy (thanks slow cooker!) Sunday. It was the perfect finish to a fantastic weekend of tasty adventures.

The 200th Post Bonanza: Brinner of the Gods


Two hundred posts, over 25 thousand views, and about 10 lbs or so have now passed since I started this blog looking for something else to do aside from watching The Price is Right and Food Network on my sister's couch.  What began as simple vegetarian dinners has morphed in to complex baking and grilling adventures (and finally the ability to handle raw meat!). Since I now have my own kitchen to make a mess of, I thought it was only fitting to go back to my roots of destroying other people's kitchens for the big 2-0-0 (and I'm writing this while binging on Food Network for added nostalgia).

Tofu Kale Lasagna: the post that started it all. It looks like it's trying to tell me something.
Since Kevin is always game for a night of cooking, he was the perfect mark. Given our culinary natures, there was no way we were going to just make one simple thing. Oh, no. My bicentennial (Does that work when you're not talking about an anniversary? It's my blog, and I'll do what I want!) cooking adventure was going to be easily the most complex and far-reaching one yet. What would have normally been three separate posts will be combined into one massive blowout to commemorate this historic self-indulgent occasion.

The most important and fancy meal of all, brinner, served as the backdrop for our night of excess. Over five hours of cooking and dozens of judging looks from our friend Charlotte (we're not used to having people around to witness how ridiculous we get during our escapades) culminated in Southwestern Omelette "Sushi", Biscuit Smoked Salmon Eggs Benedict, Chicken & Waffles, Mojitos and Mimosas.

Southwestern Omelette "Sushi"

The best part about cooking at Kevin's- his fancy camera comes along for the ride. Somehow, this looked surprisingly like sushi. 
Inspired by Serious Eats
Servings: 9 pieces
Time: A lot longer than you'd think but totally worth it

Why stop there when you can wrap it in bacon?
12+ pieces of bacon
3 eggs scrambled with a tiny bit of milk
Olive oil
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 sweet onion, chopped
2 jalapenos, seeded and chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
Cheddar Cheese
1 package frozen hash browns
1 package Jimmy Dean ground sausage
Cilantro
Salsa


The stages of a bacon roll. Note: we had to reduce the amount of filling to half as we were unable to force it shut initially.
So much tasty filling
  1. Preheat your oven to 425 F.
  2. Make a bacon weave (pictured above). Bake on a cookie sheet with aluminum foil in the oven until almost crispy but not quite done.
  3. While the bacon is cooking, cook your scrambled eggs. Set aside.
  4. Sautée the bell pepper, onion, jalapeno and garlic in olive oil over medium heat until the onions become soft and translucent (about 7-10 minutes). Set aside.
  5. Cook the hash browns in a little olive oil until browned and cooked through.
  6. Remove the bacon from the oven and dispose of the aluminum foil to get rid of the grease.
  7. Layer your roll as so: a full layer of cheddar, topped with half layers (or you won't be able to roll it shut) of hash browns, scrambled eggs, veggies, sausage and finally more cheese. Close your roll.
  8. Broil in the oven until slightly crispy (about 3-5 minutes).
  9. Cut into tiny rolls while trying not to burn yourself on the bacon grease.
  10. Serve with salsa, cilantro and mojitos.
Don't forget the salsa for added spice and juiciness to balance the crispy bacon.
Originally we wanted an entire evening of brinner "sushi", but, as you will see from the other posts, that didn't work out. Our sole faux sushi entry, however, just may have been the best dish of the evening. Everything I love about omelets managed to shine through and even stand up to the world's most amazing invention- the bacon weave. It's a good thing that this was round 1 because we still had enough room in our stomachs to completely finish the roll. Just thinking about that crispy bacon surrounding gooey cheese, spicy eggs and sausage is making my mouth water. And to think, I originally told Kevin the sausage was going to be too much.

Mojitos
From Kevin's Mind

Juice of half a lime
Lime wedge
8-10 mint leaves
1 tsp sugar
1-2 shots of clear rum
Club soda to dilution
Muddled is a word that isn't used nearly enough.
  1. Squeeze the lime juice into a glass. Add mint leaves and sugar. Muddle.
  2. Mix in the rum and club soda to proper strength. 
  3. Garnish with a lime wedge and serve.
Kevin has been perfecting his mojitos for two years now in an effort to permanently carve out a spot in my Cuban heart, and they really do just keep getting better and better. The sweetness combined with the lime and mint provides one of the most refreshing adult beverages around.

Biscuit Smoked Salmon Eggs Benedict


This was after about 20 tweaks to the dish. We may have allowed it to cool...

Adapted from All Recipes and Food Network
Servings: 12 biscuits then just however many eggs you are willing to poach
Time: 45 minutes

Artistic chopping
Biscuits
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp white sugar
1/3 cup shortening
2/3 cup milk
1/3 cup orange juice
Cucumber, sliced thinly
Smoked salmon
Poached Eggs
Asparagus, chopped
Green onions, thinly sliced

Hollandaise
3 large egg yolks
1 1/2 tsp lemon juice
Pinch cayenne Pepper
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1/2 tsp kosher salt
Sriracha to taste
Deceptively simple yet delicious
  1. Preheat the oven to 425 F.
  2. Whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.
  3. Cut in the shortening until it looks like coarse meal.
  4. Slowly stir in the milk and orange juice until the dough comes together. If the dough is too sticky, add a little more flour until it is workable.
  5. Knead the dough ~ 15-20 times and roll out into a rectangle.  Cut the biscuits as desired.
  6. Bake for 13-15 minutes on a baking sheet. Brush with melted butter about halfway through.
  7. Sautée the asparagus in olive oil until they become a more colorful green and soften.
  8. When the biscuits have cooled, hollow out the inside (but leave the bottom alone) so that it can fit your cucumber slice. 
  9. Make your hollandaise by mixing the egg yolks, lemon juice, cayenne, salt and sriracha together in a blender until well combined. Then gradually pour in the melted butter while running the blender to make the sauce frothy. 
  10. Top your biscuit/cucumber combo with smoked salmon, a poached egg, asparagus, scallions, a pinch of cayenne and a drizzle of Hollandaise sauce. Enjoy with a mimosa.
Damn you, drooping asparagus! This would've been a perfect picture showcasing the complex inner machinations of the biscuit eggs benedict.
Of our final two courses, this was the one that came the closest to our initial "sushi" dreams. The biscuit initially seemed a little too dense and simple, but it actually worked beautifully (and was amazing on its buttery own). All the layers played together nicely, as the cucumber added a freshness and crispness to the smokey smooth salmon and creamy, decadent poached egg. Meanwhile the ridiculously easy blender Hollandaise provided a hearty sriracha kick and further buttery goodness that was complimented by the texture and color providing asparagus and scallions. There was only one downfall of this dish. Kevin and I spent so much time working on making it pretty and taking pictures that it had time to cool down. Just make sure you eat it as soon as the poached egg is done, and you'll be set.


Charlotte's Super Secret Mimosa Family Recipe

Champagne
Orange Juice

Skillz
  1. Look at Terry funny because he asked you to make mimosas when you brought beer.
  2. Pour the champagne into a glass with orange juice in a 2:1 or so ratio (on the alcoholic side).
  3. Drink.
Charlotte had two jobs aside from showering us with compliments about our cooking. She was the chief structural engineer checking Kevin's bacon weave (see above), and she was in charge of making mimosas to help our evening achieve maximum fancitude. Somehow she managed to overcome the extreme pressures of both of these important duties and provided us with wonderful mimosas (and found like 20 mistakes in Kevin's weaving). As such, she will be able to continue eating our food and judging us in the future.
Chicken and Waffles

Be careful not to get too drawn in by the delicious looking waffles. Paul Deen will swallow your soul!
Adapted from All Recipes and our usual Beer Batter
Servings: Far more than you can eat after the rest of Brinner of the Gods (or like 6 normal)
Time: 30 minutes


After 10 months, I returned Kevin's waffle iron.
Waffles
3 eggs
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
Syrup
Creepy looking Paula Deen Sauce

Chicken
1 cup flour
10-12 oz beer (we used Newcastle Cabbie Black Ale)
Sriracha
Black Pepper
Cayenne
Salt
Cajun Seasoning
Chicken breast, cut into nuggets
Peanut oil for frying

After all the previous food, we needed something fried.
  1. Preheat the oven to 200 F.
  2. Mix the waffle batter together by whisking the eggs, sugar, melted butter, flour and baking powder together in a large bowl. Set aside.
  3. Heat the peanut oil to 370 F. Make sure you leave extra room in your pan to avoid hot oil splashing.
  4. Mix the beer batter together for the fried chicken by whisking the flour, beer, Sriracha, black pepper, cayenne, salt and cajun seasoning together in a large bowl.
  5. Dredge your chicken in the beer batter (be careful not to mix up the two batters) and fry for about 5 minutes in the peanut oil. Remove with a slotted spatula and let some of the excess grease come off a plate covered in paper towels. Transfer to a baking sheet and keep warm in the oven until the waffles are done.
  6. Make the waffles in a waffle iron at a high but not quite the highest setting. Spray the iron first to prevent sticking then add your batter and spread it out as thinly as you can (but be warned it is a thick batter). Cook for about 2-3 minutes each until the bottom becomes crisp and the top begins to firm.
  7. Cut the waffles into strips and serve with the chicken, sriracha, syrup, creepy Paula Deen sauce (we used chipotle raspberry) and mimosas or mojitos.
I'm sad we couldn't get an action shot of syrup splashing everywhere like in a Chili's ad.
This wasn't my first foray into the exciting world of chicken and waffles (see here), but it was by far my most successful. The waffles were actually from a pizzelle recipe, meaning they were heavy on the sugar and butter. That combo actually worked amazingly well on its own, but it was especially fantastic with the contrasting savory and spicy beer battered chicken. Speaking of our fried poultry, our frequently used batter again provided just the right flavors and kick of spice, but it was just a tad too airy, proving it is best for its normally intended tempura or onion rings. Combine that with rich syrup and a little sriracha, and you have the best dipping combo this side of chips and guac. Unfortunately, this was the final course, so it was woefully neglected due to all of us having contracted food babies.

After all this time, this is still an accurate description of how I feel about cooking and this blog. Seen originally in my early Kimchi Fried Rice.
I could not have thought of a better way to celebrate my 200th post than this night which truly epitomized my view of cooking shenanigans. Don't worry faithful readers (and by that, I of course mean my mother), I won't rest on my laurels and past semi-success. Stay tuned for post 1 of my next 200- Dr. Pepper Braised Brisket Tacos.

The future is looking bright.

Southwestern Couscous


After some recent long days at work, Kevin and I decided to celebrate his Spring Break with a night of being manly by grilling steak and drinking beers. We thought it'd probably be best to cut all the red meat with a side featuring colorful, healthy things, so we came up with the idea of making a Southwestern couscous (after several minutes of me trying to remember the difference between couscous and quinoa).

Southwestern Couscous
Adapted from All Recipes
Servings: 8 (or more realistically 4 as you will eat a lot)
Time: 30 minutes

1 1/2 cups uncooked couscous
2 1/2 cups chicken broth
Juice of half a lime
1 tsp red wine vinegar
1/2 red onion, diced
1 orange bell pepper, chopped
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
2 avocados, chopped
2 jalapenos, seeded and diced
1 can black beans, drained
10-15 cherry tomatoes, quartered
Ground cumin to taste
Cajun seasoning to taste


And this is how I remembered what all the ingredients we put in were.

  1. Make the couscous according to the instructions (usually simmer the couscous in the chicken broth for 10 or so minutes until all the liquid is absorbed then set aside to cool).
  2. Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl with the couscous.
  3. Eat large amounts paired with delightful grilling.

    Our couscous went nicely with Kevin's masterfully grilled filet, but I would've gladly just eaten bowl after bowl of the Southwestern side. The picture is made extra manly by the dirt bike in the background.
    There really is nothing quite like ending a long day by grilling outside with a beer. The filets were perfectly medium rare and only required a simple sprinkling of coarse salt and pepper, but the couscous stole the show from our expensive entree. All the various components that helped morph standard couscous into an amazing Southwestern dish came together magnificently. Special recognition goes to the creamy avocado and juicy cherry tomatoes that really helped make this a memorable side that will surely become a staple for us.
The night was made even more delicious by the surprise discovery of large bottles of Ruby Redbird well before its usual summer season.
Coming up next: The Massive 200th Post: Brinner of the Gods!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Remembering Harold Ramis: Twinkies of Psychokinetic Energy & Ecto Cooler


When your dessert isn't pretty, you should at least help it out by cutting it with a knife... or shrinking it thanks to combining it with a picture of the greatest twinkie scientist ever.
When I was a kid, Egon Spengler was my hero. He was without a doubt the greatest Ghostbuster in all the land. Despite all the fancy PhDs around, everyone knew he was the brains behind the operation (and the awesome proton packs). To put it simply, he was everything my bespectacled young self wanted to be when I grew up (plus I was pretty sure there was at least an 80% chance I'd end up looking like him). As I got older, I realized it wasn't just Egon who I was a massive fan of, but the man behind the glasses, Harold Ramis. From Caddyshack to Stripes and Groundhog Day, the comedic genius excelled both in front of and behind the camera and shaped several generations' senses of humor.
Doe. Ray. Egon!
I may not have ended up looking exactly like Egon (thanks facial hair and changing glasses trends!), but I definitely still strive to be even half the fake scientist he was (maybe if I drilled a hole in my head...). My immediate reaction to seeing my Facebook feed flooded with Ghostbusters pictures was "Dear God, don't be Egon!", but after calming down, I knew I had to honor him the best way I knew how- with delicious foodstuffs.

Now presenting The Twinkie of Psychokinetic Energy & Refreshing Ecto Cooler!

Pretty much all science can be explained with twinkies if you're enough of a bad ass.

The Twinkie of Psychokinetic Energy
Adapted from The Brown Eyed Baker & All Recipes
Servings: About 8 oddly shaped twinkies
Time: 60 minutes
Pudding batter!

Cake
1 16 oz. box pound cake mix
4 egg whites
2/3 cup water
Half package instant vanilla pudding (about 2.5 oz)

Filling
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 8 oz package cream cheese, softened
1-3 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
1 8 ox container cool whip, thawed
A healthy spoonful of marshmallow fluff
1 tbsp vanilla extract

I was so hopeful that the molds had worked out given how they looked before removal.
  1. Preheat the oven to 325 F.
  2. Beat the egg whites with an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment at high speed until stiff peaks form. Set aside.
  3. Combine the pound cake mix, water and instant vanilla pudding together at medium speed with the paddle attachment until just incorporated into a batter.
  4. Gently fold in the egg whites.
  5. If you're fancy, put your batter about 1/2 to 2/3 of the way full into a cream canoe or mini loaf pan. If you're not, MacGyver some molds. Do this by folding a 12" square piece of aluminum foil twice and then rolling it around a spice bottle until you have somewhat of a twinkie shape. Spray with non-stick cooking spray and evenly distribute your batter. Pack the molds together in a large baking pan.
  6. Bake for 30 minutes or until the cakes are become golden and stand up to the tried and true toothpick test.
  7. While the cake is baking, make the filling by beating all the ingredients together in a stand mixer with the whisk until somewhat smooth (it doesn't need to be too pretty since it'll be hidden). Be sure to scrap often with a spatula because that marshmallow fluff isn't gonna make this easy.
  8. Carefully remove the cakes from their molds and let cool on wire racks.
  9. Once the cakes are completely cooled, create openings 3-4 in the bottoms of each (if yours are pretty enough to determine what the bottom is) by wiggling a toothpick around. Then add the filling using a piping bag with a large opening decorating tip (this is key, or it will not come out at all). Fill until almost, but not quite bursting.
  10. Enjoy the single tastiest twinkie you've ever had and be glad that your taste buds aren't superficial.
Once you determine which horribly mangled side is the bottom, fill away!
The twinkies definitely weren't pretty (splurge and get a fancy pan for them), but they were surprisingly the tastiest ones I had ever had. I'm normally not a huge fan of pound cake, but the added pudding mix really took the fantastically bouncy cake to another level. My only recommendation would be to make sure your twinkies are bursting with as much psychokinetic energy as possible because the marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and sugar combo is perfect for making you wish any dessert was "35 feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds".

Ecto Cooler
Adapted from Nerdist
Servings: 1 gallon of sugar juice
Time: 5 minutes

2 cups pulp-free orange juice
2 packets orange kool-aid
1 healthy spoonful Country Time powdered lemonade mix
1 3/4 cup sugar
Blue and green food coloring
Water to fill

Note: you can replace half of all orange with tangerine juice/powder


 I bought a fancy pitcher just for this. I'm so glad it could properly showcase the ecto cooler beauty...
  1. Mix all the ingredients together in a 1 gallon pitcher. 
  2. Fill to near the top with water.
  3. Stir well.
  4. Let sit in your fridge for over a week until even your freezer smells like delightful fruit candy.
If you can name what color it is, then you didn't do it right.
I never thought Ecto Cooler was the finest Hi-C flavor growing up, but, dammit, I drank a lot of it because Slimer was on the cover and we all know cartoons give the best nutritional advice. The concoction of indeterminate color was everything my sugar addled brain remembers from my youth. A strong orangey hit is just enough to make you forget that its basically pure sugar. I highly recommend turning this into mimosas for full circle enjoyment as an adult.

"This magnificent feast here represents the last of the petty cash."
Since my guests probably would've left if I only gave them sugar cakes with diabetes juice to wash it down, our massive feast was rounded out in to a full blown meal. Laura provided her guacamole that made me ask "Are you a God?", and Danielle put my deformed twinkies to shame with her delicious Pinterest-worthy Stay Puft Marshmallow men (and a bag of exploded ones to make me feel better). Maconda and Sacha supplied Chinese takeout (aka late night Ghostbuster fuel), and Megan brought baby shower cupcakes all the way from College Station to help give everything a slightly creepy paranormal feel.
Homemade goodness. Danielle's Stay Puft Marshmallow Men win prettiest honors, but Laura's guac (in honor of Slimer) always wins tastiest (until I hate myself for ingesting the entire tub).
A Ghostbusters meal wouldn't be complete without Chinese takeout. We also had a special guest appearance by baby (Oscar) shower cupcakes all the way from College Station compliments of Megan.
This definitely was a glorious Sunday afternoon worthy of the brilliant stranger who has somehow influenced me since I was three. One final time: Here's to the man who taught me that it was ok to be a nerd with a strange sense of humor and that twinkies were an essential scientific unit of measurement!

Even this painting isn't enough to pay proper tribute to Harold Ramis, but having something like this with my future family in it is a life goal.

And now, I leave you with the wisdom of the world's greatest slacker/smart-ass: Russell Ziskey. May we all have a teacher that dedicated in our lives.