May the Fourth be with You: Wookie Pies

A long time ago in a kitchen far far away,

Kid Terry was absolutely obsessed with Star Wars. He desperately wanted to be Luke Skywalker and frequently reenacted the most climactic lightsaber battles when no one else was around. He beat the video games hundreds of times and studied every moment of the original trilogy even more. One day, he got the most exciting (and soon to be disappointing) news of his life. As a hopeful Jedi padawan of only 13, he convinced his mother to brave the barren wasteland and forty year olds making R2D2 noises of Tatooine the line for tickets to Episode 1. While this surely led to him not having a serious girlfriend until college, he was not deterred in achieving his goal of being among the first to see the film and continuing to work on his sweet lightsaber moves.

Now, with a new trilogy set to premiere later this year and surely erase all the bad vibes from the prequels our now much older and far more dashing hero must find a way to make this Star Wars Day epic. Knowing this would require becoming one with the force and channeling the spirits of warriors past Yoda, Chewbacca, and Darth Vader, Terry sought out the help of rebel kitchen alliance leader Kathryn to properly pay tribute to one of the greatest influences of his childhood...

Darth Vader
Adapted from Alton Brown and Sprinkles Cupcakes
Time: 120 minutes (inactive for 60)
Servings: 8-12 wookie pies

Even when finished it still looks like melted chocolate

Cookies
6 oz. 54% bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
2 oz. unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped
1 3/4 oz. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp kosher salt
4 tbsp unsalted butter, at room temp
6 oz. light brown sugar
2 large eggs, at room temp
1 tbsp vanilla extract
3 oz. 70% bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

No one ever said the dark side would be this delicious

Filling
1/2 cup strawberries, pureed
2 sticks unsalted butter, firm and slightly cold
Pinch of coarse salt
3 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
2 tsp vanilla extract
Thinly chopped strawberries, optional

All too easy...

1. Embrace the dark side.
2. Melt the 54% and unsweetened chocolates together in a medium glass bowl over two 30 second intervals, stirring in between. If additional melting is necessary, heat 10 second at a time until smooth. Set aside and let cool for ~15 minutes.
3. Whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt together in a small bowl.
4. Cream the butter and brown sugar in a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment on medium speed until light and fluffy (about 2 minutes).
5. Beat the eggs and vanilla together in a small bowl. Add to the creamed mixture on low speed until fully incorporated. 
6. Pour in the melted chocolate and mix to combine. 
7. Add in the flour mixture and stir until just incorporated. 
8. Fold in the 70% chocolate. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour.
9. Make the filling by beating the butter and salt together in a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment until light and fluffy. Add the confectioner's sugar one cup at a time until smooth. Mix in 3 tbsp of pureed strawberries and the vanilla at low speed. Fold in extra strawberries if desired. Be careful not to overdue it on the strawberry puree or you'll get some ugly curdling.
10. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
11. If you're trying to make awesome shapes, roll the chilled dough about 1/4"-1/2" thick. Lightly flour your cookie cutter and carefully press and remove each shape. If not, roll into balls and flatten then lay the dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or a silicone mat. Bake for 10-14 minutes until the edges are done.
12. Let set on the baking sheets for 3-5 minutes then transfer to wire racks to cool.
13. Assemble whoopie pies with frosting in the middle.

Now presenting- the just as intimidating and slightly melted looking Vader

First up, we had our ultimate bad boy Darth Vader inspired wookie pies that fell into the dark side (of chocolate) and wielded a fierce red strawberry buttercream. The cookies themselves had a fudge-like quality and really brought out the best of dark chocolate, while the sweet filling was bursting with strawberry flavor and countered the darkness magnificently. Of all our efforts, these were the most like a traditional whoopie pie.

I would easily (Darth) Maul someone to get my hands on these.

Yoda
Adapted from Real House Moms and Alton Brown
Time: 120 minutes (inactive for 60)
Servings: 12-16 Yoda-sized wookie pies

Is it guac or frosting? It's a trap!

Cookies
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp lime juice
2 tsp lime zest
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 cups all-purpose flour

Filling
4 avocados, pitted and peeled
2-3 tbsp lime juice
1/2 lb powdered sugar, sifted
2-4 heaping tbsp cool whip

Eat you, I will.

1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
2. Whisk the baking soda, baking powder, salt, and flour together in a medium bowl. Set aside.
3. Cream the butter and sugar together in a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment until light and fluffy.
4. Mix in the egg, vanilla, lime juice, and lime zest.
5. Slowly add in the flour, one cup at a time, until just incorporated. 
6. Refrigerate for 60 minutes. 
7. Make the filling by beating the avocado and lime juice together using the whisk attachment of a stand mixer until it lightens in color (about 2 minutes). Add the powdered sugar gradually and beat until smooth. Adjust the lime juice to your desired level. Mix in cool-whip and set aside in the fridge. 
8. Roll the dough on a lightly floured surface to 1/4"-1/2" thick and cut out using a floured cookie cutter, or roll into a long tube and cut ~1/4 to 1/2 inch thick slices on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or silicone mats. 
9. Bake for 13-15 minutes, rotating once halfway through, until the edges just start to brown.
10. Assemble the wookie pies with avocado frosting in the middle.
11. Ready for adventure, you must be.

The force is strong with these ones.

Much like Luke deciding to trust a 2 foot tall bald troll doll with grammar issues with his training, our decision to make Yoda themed cookies was a big risk that paid off huge. With a little additional inspiration from the other big day of the week (Cinco de Mayo), Kathryn and I settled on an appropriately colored lime and avocado combo. The lime flavor was strong and paired nicely with the creamy avocado filling for the most unique wookie pie in the galaxy that gives a new hope to the future of desserts.

It's like you're staring straight into the heart of Dagobah.

Chewbacca
Adapted from the previously seen Super Bowl Whoopie Pies
Time: 60 minutes
Servings: 8-12 wookie pies

1 batch Chocolate Coffee Cookies (with 1 tsp extra ground espresso)
1 batch Coffee Cream Cheese Frosting (with 7 total tbsp espresso and 1 tsp vanilla)

Look at how happy Chewie is! He clearly knows he has a delicious future ahead of him.

1. Be tired of writing up recipes, and be thankful that you already had this one under your belt.
2. Don't even bother trying to make awesome shapes with this batter. Also, I highly recommend using silicone mats for these so they maintain some height and don't spread as much.

These aren't the shapes you're looking for...

Seeing as I have been perfecting this recipe since right after the inception of the blog, it should come as no surprise that these were the best of the day. This batter is the most unruly of the bunch, so I was fully expecting bad results with the cookie cutters, but none of that mattered once the powerful coffee aroma filled the air. Just like their imposing wookie namesake, these made their presence known in a big way. In the end, these remained the Empire Strikes Back of whoopie pies.

Frosting fixes everything- ugly cookies, wampa rampages, carbonite imprisonment...

It's important to find excuses to ingest your weight in sugar celebrate all of the important things in life. As part of my new life in a new city, I'm making a point to bake more for all the big occasions like New Year's, Easter, six month puppyversaries, and Pi Day (my apologies to Arbor Day-maybe next year). My day of baking Wookie Pies with Kathryn was by far the most ambitious and quite possibly the best. Now, just 7 more months of building up insane amounts of hype in my brain until The Force Awakens. Hopefully, with the help of new baking buddy Kathryn, I just might make it.

Do or do not. There is no try.

Cupcake-palooza '15: Vanilla Buttermilk Nutella Cupcakes

Recently, I have felt strongly compelled to return to the humble beginnings of my baking dreams and reignited my love of cupcakery. In the month of April alone, I have managed to make as many cupcake posts (see also Cadbury Creme Egg Cupcakes and Hummingbird Cupcakes) as I did in the previous two years. While this resurgence of living a hard life of cupcaking is likely an attempt to assert my alpha maleness on my new city (bad bakers 4 life!), it has been a most welcome one amongst my friends and coworkers. This past weekend, we hosted a party for the residents in Robin's program and I knew exactly what baked goodness I needed to contribute to the festivities.

Vanilla Buttermilk Nutella Cupcakes
Modified Heavily from Martha Stewart
Servings: 36 cupcakes
Time: 45 minutes

Crazy thin batter

3 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 large eggs, plus 2 large egg yolks
1 1/4 cups warm water
1 1/4 cups buttermilk
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp vegetable oil
4 tsp pure vanilla extract
Nutella (lots of it)
1 batch Nutella Cream Cheese Frosting
Awesome sprinkles

As you can see, I was very scientific and precise with my Nutella spoonfuls.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. 
2. Whisk the flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and salt together in a large bowl. Set aside.
3. Mix the eggs, water, buttermilk, vegetable oil, and vanilla extract together in a stand mixer using the paddle attachment.
4. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ones in 2-3 increments. Mix until well incorporated.
5. Fill lined muffin tins 2/3 full with batter. Top with a spoonful of Nutella in the center.
6. Bake for 15-17 minutes or until the toothpick test comes out clean.
7. Make the single greatest use of sugar in all of existence, Nutella cream cheese frosting. Stick to the lower end of powdered sugar if using actual Nutella. 
8. Sprinkle until your inner child is satisfied and enjoy.

The Nutella is practically teasing you with just a hint of its presence.

Nutella is the single greatest weapon someone could have to make simple desserts seem amazingly rich and complex. The vanilla buttermilk cupcakes themselves were nicely moist and bouncy (thanks to employing my current obsession of using oil over butter and the super aerating buttermilk), but they would have benefited from a little more vanilla. Fortunately the gooey Nutella center instantly catapults the cake into rarified air. Even with all those great components, everything plays second fiddle to the Nutella cream cheese frosting (which managed to entrap Robin in its Siren spell). This frosting is the stuff of dreams (to quote our friend Bridget), and has proven to yet again to be the best use of sugar that I have ever found (see Cafe du Monde Cupcakes). In the end, these cupcakes were essentially a grown-up flavor blasted version of everyone's favorite yellow cake with chocolate frosting that is sure to have you and your guests salivating for more.

If for some reason you do not have a cupboard full of sprinkles, feel free to improvise and use fruit instead.

Easter Redux: Cadbury Creme Egg Cupcakes

Way back three Easters ago Robin and I had a great flirt bake-athon where I taught her the ways of the holiday with adorably decorated Sugar Cookies, the only time peeps have ever been tasty, and the true candy spirit of the season capturing Cadbury Creme Egg Cupcakes. While we thoroughly enjoyed eating cupcakes stuffed with the greatest holiday candy known to man, I always felt like something was missing. They were great but not nearly memorable enough to be worthy of their British namesake.

This year, I decided to prove how far my baking skills have come over the past few years by combining all the knowledge I have acquired over time to generate the ultimate Cadbury Creme Egg Cupcake. I was going to have to dig deep going all the way back to my first ever time baking cupcakes with Jenny (which is sadly pre-blog) to achieve maximum Easter.

Cadbury Creme Egg Cupcakes Take Deux
Cake Adapted from Food.com and Previously seen Here
Ganache Adapted from The Barefoot Contessa
Time: 90 minutes
Servings: 36 cupcakes


Cake
3 cups all-purpose flour

Yet another great culinary Rorschach Test. I see a dog dancing!

2 cups sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups milk
10 tbsp vegetable oil
2 tbsp cider vinegar
2 tbsp vanilla
16 oz cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
2/3 cup sugar
36 Mini Cadbury Creme Eggs, frozen
36 Crispy Cadbury Mini Eggs

Ganache
12 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup heavy cream

My double boiler needs some work

1. Decide to show everyone that your Easter game is on point.
2. Hate yourself for thinking that statement.
3. Preheat the oven to 350 F. 
4. Whisk the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt together in a large bowl. Set aside.
5. Make the creamy sugar filling by beating the cream cheese until soft. Then add beat in the eggs and sugar until smooth. Set aside.
6. Stir the milk, vegetable oil, cider vinegar, and vanilla together with in a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment at medium speed.
7. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the oil mixture at low speed until just incorporated. 
8. Fill lined cupcake tins ~ half full with batter. Scoop ~1 tbsp of the filling on top of each, and insert a frozen mini creme egg in the center. It is extremely important that you do not overfill as the egg will displace a decent amount of batter. The overfilled ones will tend to get horrible dimples above the creme egg (which are thankfully covered up with ganache).
9. Bake for 14-18 minutes (rotating once halfway through) or until the toothpick test comes back clean and the tops have set.
10. Let the cupcakes cool on wire racks.
11. While the cupcakes cool make the ganache by stirring the chocolate chips and heavy cream together in a double boiler until melted and smooth.
12. Frost each cupcake with ganache, and top with a crispy mini egg. For best results, serve cold.

These cupcakes already look like the most fun ever and they don't even have frosting yet!

It is unbelievably fortunate that science says calories don't count on holidays, because I don't even want to think about the Sisyphean task that would be attempting to work these off (which would at least keep you busy until next Easter). Many times during my baking career I have thought that I could not possibly make anything more rich or decadent (see Pop Tart Cake, Car Bomb Cupcakes, and two versions of Chocolate Covered Strawberry Cupcakes), but time and time again I have proven myself wrong. When cream filled candy is the least sinful aspect of your dessert, you just know it's gonna be good (and worthy of a tall glass of milk). The black and white cupcake featured my favorite moist and bouncy chocolate cake recipe that was only made more absurdly delectable by the smooth cream cheese swirl that perfectly embodied the creamy heart of our hidden Cadbury treat. The ganache emphasized the bursting chocolate flavor and helped replicate the egg shell, while the crispy egg garnish added a nice crunch to all the gooey goodness contained in the cake. Our last attempt may have been great, but these were unholy levels of legendary. Fortunately for us, it only makes sense to eat them once a year.

Failure to properly place the egg or putting too much batter will lead to some interesting developments once the cupcakes start to cool. Fortunately, ganache will hide this.

Layer upon layer of pure, absurdly rich perfection. This is my favorite picture ever not involving dogs.

Hummingbird Cupcakes

Since starting my part-time work at a doctor's office during the Great Job Hunt of '15, I have taken it upon myself to conduct extensive diabetes research among the office staff by bringing my baked goods to a new state. This past week, our young whippersnapper of a boss had his birthday, and I was tasked with supplying the confections and with telling him how your body breaks down once you're no longer 25 (here's to infinitely longer hangovers and bum knees!). I decided to embrace the great Southern charm of Charleston with the most requested recipe in the history of Southern Living- the fruit filled cinnamony delight known as hummingbird cake.

Would the office be inspired by my latest round of cupcake magic leading to a promotion, or would I be out on the streets begging for work?

Hummingbird Cupcakes
Recipe adapted from Southern Living
Servings: 24 cupcakes
Time: 60 minutes

Do not be deceived into thinking you're making muffins.

Cake
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups granulated sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
3 large eggs, beaten
1 cup vegetable oil
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 (8 oz) can crushed pineapple with juices
1 cup chopped pecans, plus additional for topping
2 cups chopped bananas

Frosting
16 oz cream cheese, softened to near room temp
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
4-6 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1/2 to 1 tsp cinnamon

Make sure you only focus on the really pretty one in the center. The fruit inside may lead to some interesting dimples...

1. Sip on a mint julep to get in the proper Southern spirit.
2. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
3. Whisk the flour, baking soda, salt, sugar, and cinnamon together in a bowl.
4. Stir in the eggs and oil until the dry ingredients are just moistened.
5. Mix in the vanilla, pineapple, pecans, and bananas until evenly distributed.
6. Fill cupcake tins ~ 2/3 full with batter.
7. Let bake for 18-22 minutes until golden and the toothpick test comes back clean (be careful of pineapple and banana messing up the test).
8. Let cool on wire racks.
9. While cooling, make the frosting. Beat the cream cheese until smooth, then beat in the butter. Add the powdered sugar 1 cup at a time until you reach the desired sweetness. Stir in the cinnamon and vanilla extract.
10. Top your cupcakes with frosting and additional pecans. 
11. Resist the urge to eat them all before sharing with your coworkers. 

Since there was not already enough sugar in the cupcakes themselves, I just had to add on pure sugar lettering for extra fanciness.

In the least shocking development ever, it turns out Southern Living knows what they're talking about when it comes to cake. My only real change to the cake was adding more vanilla (which is a given in pretty much every dessert I make), while I added cinnamon and altered some of the ratios of the frosting to reflect some of my previous cupcakery. Hummingbird cake is one of the most moist, delicious desserts you will ever have. The banana and pineapple filling kept the cake interesting without adding much additional work while also preventing it from drying out, and the cinnamon cream cheese frosting reinforced the spiced nature of the cake without making it overpoweringly sweet. When all was said and done, the office was abuzz with praises of the cupcakes, and I was allowed to stick around for at least a little longer.

See if you can guess where I decided to stop worrying about a piping tip and just started piling on delicious frosting.

Pi Day: Bayou Goo Pie

Saturdays in high school were spent on the battlefield. Legends were forged and Letterman Jackets were earned one equation at a time at Mu Alpha Theta math competitions across the state of Louisiana. The pressure was enough to snap your perfectly sharpened number two pencil and make you throw your TI-86 across the room (something I saw happen more than once).  The mathletes needed a leader, and as their president I was there to guide the way to glory.  I answered to only one person (aside from Pythagoras), and that was Mrs. Vedros. Whether putting up with a bunch of teenagers randomly serenading her with "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" at the Math State Convention Dance (yeah you wish you could have been there) or giving us moon pies to teach us about the importance of Pi Day, she was always there to make sure math won the day.

Some of the finest Mathletes the state of Louisiana has ever seen: (L to R) Eric, Thienan, Perry "P-Squared", and yours truly holding the massive trophy. I know it's hard to believe, but we were all single when this picture was taken.

Despite having the blog for over three years now, I had never properly celebrated Pi Day (aside from Kevin's write-up of Bumbleberry Pie). As this was the ultimate once in a century Pi Day extending all the way out to four decimal places (3.1415), I was not going to settle for another year of staring longingly at other people's pies on Facebook. I was going to recreate one of the greatest dessert concoctions from the pie Eden known as House of Pies that started it all and make my fellow mathletes proud.

Me in all my glory in high school (far left) receiving my outstanding math student award from Mrs. Vedros. Sadly my killer (and against the Catholic school dress code) side burns cannot be properly admired.

Bayou Goo Pie
Filling adapted from Real Cajun Recipes and Crust from All Recipes
Servings: 1 ~ 28.3" circumference Pie
Time: 20 minutes (plus setting in the fridge overnight or at least 2 hours)

Crust
1 1/2 cups finely ground graham cracker crumbs
1/3 cup sugar
6 tbsp butter, melted
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

Filling and Topping
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
8 oz Cool Whip (separated)
1 (4 oz) box chocolate instant pudding
1 (4 oz) box vanilla instant pudding
2 cups milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup milk chocolate chips (separated)
Cocoa powder, sifted

Amazing graham cracker crust ready in under 15 minutes.  

Calculate the proper dish depth or be "forced" to eat the excess

1. Preheat the oven to 375 F.
2. Make the easiest crust ever by mixing the graham cracker crumbs, sugar, butter, and cinnamon together in a bowl.  Press the mix into a 9" pie tin. Bake for 7-10 minutes until golden and crisp.
3. Let cool to a level greater than or equal to how awesome you were in high school.
4. Make the first layer by combining the cream cheese, powdered sugar, and half of the cool whip using the whisk attachment of an electric mixer. 
5. Stir in half the chocolate chips and fill in the first layer of pie.
6. In a separate bowl, whisk the puddings, milk, and vanilla together. Stir in the chocolate chips, and let set for 5 minutes.
7. Create a pudding layer on top of the cream cheese layer. Cover and let set over night.
8. Top with the remaining cool whip and dust on some cocoa powder.
9. Relive your glory days in math club while enjoying a delightful slice.

The pie should be filled with peaks, like those that we fortunately did not reach in high school.

For being by far the easiest pie to make, this also just may have been the tastiest as it stacked up quite nicely to its House of Pies inspiration. The graham cracker crust was a departure from the standard pecan crust of a Bayou Goo pie, but it did invoke the childhood sensation of eating s'mores. Future attempts could involve using both graham cracker and pecan in the crust at 0.927 and 0.573 cups, respectively, for a beautiful golden ratio achieving the best of all worlds. Resting gloriously above that crust lies the amazing cream cheese and chocolate vanilla layers (reminiscent of Black and White Cupcakes). My only regret (other than not having a kiddie pool filled with it) was that my pie dish was not deep enough to allow for maximum enjoyment of all layers.

Attempts to calculate the rate of consumption were hindered by its exponentially growing nature due to optimal deliciousness.

While enjoying my Pi Day creation, I took some time to think back fondly on my Mu Alpha Theta days. Some of my best high school experiences were those weekends where my fellow square pegs and I got to forget about our lack of sports acumen at a school that best resembled Varsity Blues meets Friday Night Lights and come together to kick some scantron ass. From Thienan's and my attempts to see how many times we could karaoke Sk8er Boi on the bus before even our fellow geeks turned against us (the answer is about 3) to coming in second to what I am still convinced is the world's first sentient robot in FACTORIAL!, a Jeopardy like event at State, thanks to my encyclopedic movie knowledge to Perry and I pushing each other with our rivalry to be the smartest mathlete around driving us to new, mathier heights, I will never forget all the fun times we had just being ourselves. We were nerds, and we loved it. We even have the trophies to prove it.

Next up: Mole Day!

Two Mu Alpha Theta presidents partaking in some Quiz Bowl and most likely answering the question "Who is the most awesome mathlete of them all?".

Brinner Madness: Sriracha Waffles

In this period of life transition where I currently reside, I have come up with a new life goal- to make waffles more often (Yep, I'm definitely getting a little ambitious over here. It's a good thing that I'm too young to run for president...). Perhaps I am overcompensating for the loss of my beloved Parks and Rec, or maybe my body is expressing its cravings for delicious breakfast-fare that my usual granola bar as I leave the house just can't satisfy.

Tonight I found myself in a brinner kind of mood, and it was time to try a savory waffle after the previous two Funfetti and Chocolate varieties. Could I find inspiration in the ghosts of Kimchi Pancakes from long ago and deliver a spicy dish worthy of the sriracha name?

Sriracha Waffles
Heavily Modified from All Recipes
Servings: 4-6 waffles
Time: 20 minutes

1 egg, beaten

If it doesn't appear super-saturated with sriracha, then you're not done.

1 cup plus 2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp granulated sugar
2 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt
3/4 cup and 2 tbsp milk
1/4 cup vegetable or canola oil
1/2 white onion, diced
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced
Sriracha, to taste (but use loads of it)
Turkey sausage patties
Eggs, fried or poached
Cheddar cheese, grated
Black Pepper

1. Beat the eggs, flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, milk, and oil together in a medium bowl until a smooth batter forms.
2. Mix in tons of sriracha. Then just when you think you have enough, put at least 25% more.
3. Stir in the jalapeno and onion.
4. Pour into a preheated waffle iron until crispy and golden ~5 minutes. These are best served fresh for maximum crispness, but you can keep them warm in an oven preheated to 200 F while you work through the batches.
5. Top with sausage patties, egg, cheese, black pepper, and additional sriracha.

Feel free to just roll it up and eat it like street food at this point. 

By itself, this spicy waffle would make a wonderful hand-held snack, but combined with the day starting power of sausage, a poached egg, and cheese, this became a hearty meal for the ages deserving of a spot amongst the Brinner of the Gods (I'm also pretty sure I figured out Taco Bell's next big campaign). The crispy veggie filled waffle provided exactly the spicy sriracha goodness I was hoping for and should be wrapped around all breakfast foods imaginable, while the gooey ruptured poached egg brought each and every bite together in beautiful breakfast-y harmony. Sometimes, it's good to succeed at your life's goals no matter how insignificant or delicious they may be.

Is there any greater satisfaction in life than breaking an egg yolk? Feel the power!

Here's to Leslie Knope: Funfetti and Chocolate Waffles

For the past seven years, Parks and Rec has provided countless half hours of pure joy. More so than any show on television, it was about hope and never left you without smile on your face the size of Lil' Sebastian. From Duke Silver to Bert Macklin to Jean-Ralphio, Parks always found a ridiculous way to make us laugh. When it came time to both celebrate fellow Parks fanatic (and award winning shortbread decorator) Kathryn's birthday as well as watch the finale, we knew what we had to do (sorry, Ben, but calzones just aren't dessert food). The result was an amazingly delicious night of birthday waffles that would have made the world's greatest fake public servant, Leslie Knope, proud.

For the life of me, I will never understand why Jerry Terry Garry looks so sad here.

Funfetti Waffles
Adapted from Celebrations.com
Time: 20 minutes
Servings: 3-4 large waffles

Now you have to decide if it goes in a cake pan or a waffle iron

Waffles
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup Funfetti Cake mix
3 tbsp baking powder
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp  salt
1 1/4 cups milk
1 egg
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
Colorful sprinkles to your heart's content

Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
4 tbsp Funfetti Cake mix
4 tbsp milk
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
Even more colorful sprinkles, preferably shaped like dinosaurs

1. Preheat your oven to 200 F.
2. Whisk the flour, cake mix, baking powder, sugar, and salt together in a medium bowl. 
3. Make a well and add in the eggs, milk, olive oil, and vanilla extract. 
4. Whisk together until a thick batter forms. 
5. Stir in extra sprinkles to make it more colorful.
6. Add ~ 1/3 of the mix to a hot waffle iron coated with cooking spray and cook until the waffle is easily removed (typically ~3-5 minutes). Keep waffles warm in the oven after they're done.
7. Make the glaze by whisking all the ingredients together in a bowl. Change it to your desired consistency by adding milk or powdered sugar. The current recipe is on the thick side.
8. Prove to the world that bringing your sprinkles with you during your move was the best choice ever and decorate the hell out of some waffles.

Layer upon layer of sugar the way god intended. 

Of our two waffles, I think these were the most up Leslie's alley. It's a waffle made of cake! The funfetti taste (and of course fun) really came through in this unique sugar bomb that held the distinction of being the birthday girl's favorite. Plus it finally gave me a chance to prove to Robin that bringing all of my sprinkles with me during the move was not in fact insane (dinosaur sprinkles all the way!). My only regret was that we have a thinner waffle maker and these would have been even more caketastic in larger, Belgium Waffle form.

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Waffles
Adapted from Alton Brown
Time: 20 minutes
Servings: 6-8 large waffles

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3 tbsp sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
3 eggs at room temp, beaten
2 oz unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
16 oz buttermilk, room temp
Milk chocolate chips
Whipped cream
Raspberries

1. Preheat your oven to 200 F.
2. Whisk the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt, and baking soda together in a large bowl.
3. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs, melted (and cooled) butter, vanilla, and buttermilk together. Make sure to have these near room temp, or your batter may take on a weird consistency.
4. Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients and whisk well.
5. Stir in the chocolate chips.
6. Ladle the desired amount into the waffle iron and let cook until finished (typically around 3-5 minutes). Keep waffles warm in the oven until finished.
7. Apply a small, yet pretty amount of whipped cream and raspberries for the picture. Immediately add a Leslie Knope-ian amount once said pictures are taken.

Picture showcases ~1/10 of the final amount of whipped cream used while eating.

For Robin and I, these chocolate waffles won the night. The perfect amount of chocolate soothed us while we said goodbye to our favorite show, but it also allowed us to have tons of fun with a can of whipped cream while we made sure each bite of waffle was properly covered (and then washed them down with some straight from the source). These were great for the size/texture that our waffle maker produces, and they blew away my previous attempt at chocolate waffles.

Parks taught us many important life lessons like the love of breakfast foods

These waffles provided us with a proper sendoff for our most beloved Parks crew, while they in turn gave us one of the most brilliant and rewarding finales ever. I thought I was going to be sad to see my tv friends go, but I was too busy being excited and smiling yet again while watching their pitch perfect futures. Goodbye, Pawnee, and thanks for everything!

I now leave you with the immortal wisdom of Leslie Knope.

"We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third."