Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Oatmeal Cookie of Destiny

You make me want to be a better baker.
Every now and then I reach a moment of complete and total clarity while baking (this is likely just a minor diabetic seizure, but we'll treat it as an epiphany) when I know I've made something addictive that propels my desire to one day actually open up Terry's Crafty Confectionery Crafts. This devilish oatmeal cookie supersaturated with cherries, white chocolate, pecans and Heath bar bits is deserving of its own illegal street corner trading. No longer will the oatmeal cookie be relegated to banishment in the corner as that kind of healthy looking cookie with the weird texture! It's ready for the big time.

The Oatmeal Cookie of Destiny
Servings: 24+ cookies
Time: 30 minutes

1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup brown sugar, packed
2 large eggs
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups quick cooking oats
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup cherries, quartered and pitted
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup Heath bar bits
1/2 cup honey toasted pecans, chopped
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
  2. Whisk the flour, oats, baking soda and salt together in a large bowl. Set aside.
  3. Cream the butter and sugars together using a stand mixer at medium speed until light and fluffy.
  4. Add the vanilla and eggs one at a time until fully incorporated. 
  5. Stir in the flour mixture at low speed until just combined.
  6. Incorporate the remaining ingredients with a rubber spatula until evenly distributed.
  7. Scoop the dough in 2-3 tsp sized chunks onto baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Leave ~2 inches between cookies.
  8. Bake for 10-13 minutes or until browned.
  9. Let cool on the baking sheets for 3 minutes to crisp up the bottoms then move to wire racks.
  10. Pair with stout-like beer.
I tend to get overzealous when it comes to proper cookie dough proportions and spacing.
This cookie has so much going on. The truly ridiculous conglomeration of cookie fillings could stand as a memorable cookie with one or two ingredients removed, but when properly assembled this cookie becomes a force of nature (or some horrible post apocalyptic nature in a world where the only remaining resource is sugar). The cherries were my personal favorite as they had a freshness and natural sweetness to counterbalance the other slightly more decadent aspects. The pecans supplied a nice crunch, while the white chocolate further emphasized the richness and the Heath bar bits added a nice caramel finish.
Who needs cookies and milk? Surprise and delight your kids with these oatmeal cookies paired with an imperial stout or brown ale (because, really, is there anything more hilarious and adorable than drunk children?). 
These cookies helped appease a packed townhouse since Nancy was over helping cooking dinner and Jaime and Jess were escaping their air-condition deprived home (It was only 92 inside their place. I think they just wanted an excuse to see me.). Thankfully, all these people were present to prevent me from eating the entire batch and then knowing shame. More importantly, Jaime brought along appropriate stouts and brown ales to pair with the cookies.
Refugee Jess enjoys a cookie to forget her air-conditioner woes. 

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