|I had no idea just how enthusiastic Lars' painting would be.|
Could I, along with the decorating skills of cooking neophyte Lars, come up with a cake that fittingly honored the over the top violence of the fight for the Iron Throne?
Dun Dun DuDuDun Dun DuDuDun Dun...
Red Wedding Cake
Servings: 1- 2 level tiered cake
Time: 2 hours
Almond Wedding Cake (recipe below)
Blackberry Curd (recipe below)
Cream Cheese Frosting (recipe below)
Fake Blood (recipe below)
- Prepare the cake, curd, frosting and fake blood. Once everything is cooled begin assembling.
- Cut each of the two cakes in half. Fill the larger cake with curd and replace the top. Cover well with frosting.
- Place the bottom of the second cake on top of the frosting and fill with curd. Cover and finish frosting.
- Take out your inner aggressions by creating blood splatters all over the cake with the fake blood.
|Much like the outside, the inside lived (or should it be died?) up to its name.|
Almond Wedding Cake
Adapted from I am Baker
Servings: 1- 9" and 1- 7 1/2" Round Cake
Time: 30 minutes
2 1/2 cups cake flour
1/2 cup milk, at room temp
1/2 cup buttermilk, at room temp
2-3 tbsp sour cream
6 large egg whites, at room temp
1 tbsp almond extract
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
|So white and pure. Just like a silly Stark.|
- Preheat the oven to 350 F.
- Whisk cake flour, sugar, baking powder and salt together in a bowl.
- In a separate bowl, mix the milks, sour cream, egg whites and extracts together.
- Cream the butter in a stand mixer at medium speed.
- Add in the flour mixture and let go for 1-2 minutes until you see a change in texture from the butter.
- Add half of the milk mixture and mix well at medium-low speed.
- Scrape the sides down and beat in the rest of the milk.
- Pour the batter between your two cake pans.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until the toothpick test comes back clean.
- Let cool in the pan for 2 minutes then transfer to wire racks. Let cool to room temperature before any other steps.
|Not to be outdone, it's actually a really tasty wedding cake.|
Adapted from Cupcake Wars
Previously Seen Here
Servings: About 4 layers worth
Time: 20 minutes
1 quart blackberries
1/4 cup water
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg yolk
2 tbsp unsalted butter
|Blunt force instrument of blackberry death. I call this whisk "Ice" now.|
- Combine the blackberries and water in a pot. Simmer until the blackberries change color and start to come apart easily.
- Pour the hot mixture through a strainer and press the blackberries to get all the juice out.
- Mix the sugar and flour together in a separate, clena pot.
- Slowly pour in the juice while whisking constantly until fully incorporated.
- Add in the eggs and egg yolks while still whisking over medium-low heat until it begins to thicken (about 5-7 minutes).
- Once the curd has formed, remove from heat and stir in the butter.
- Cover and cool in the fridge.
|I could never get it quite the right level of red from its starting purple.|
|Thanks to the curd, my kitchen was beginning to resemble a scene from the show.|
Servings: 1 tiered cake's worth
Time: 10 minutes
16 oz cream cheese, room temp
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 tbsp almond extract
1-2 tsp vanilla extract
4-5 cups powdered sugar, sifted
- Make sure the butter and cream cheese are at room temp (this will help avoid lumps).
- Cream the butter for 2 minutes until smooth using the whisk attachment on a stand mixer. Beat in the cream cheese and extracts.
- Gradually whisk in the powdered sugar until it reaches your desired level of sweetness.
- Store in the fridge until ready to use.
|Even before the drizzle, the frosting wasn't free of some fake blood swirled in thanks to the inner curd.|
Fake Blood Drizzle
Servings: Enough to satisfy even the most depraved decorator
Time: 5 minutes
10 oz strawberry preserves/jam (make sure there are chunks of strawberry)
8 oz red raspberry preserves/jam
8 oz cream cheese
Red food coloring
|Don't forget, chunks of berry are key for pulling this off.|
- Mix all the ingredients together until smooth and the desired level of red is achieved.
|I've determined that all decent parties should have at least 2 fake blood options.|
|It looks like the Hound himself sliced it.|
Stay tuned for the conclusion to our premiere party- Dragon Eggs with Fire Sauce, where I also attempt to teach Lars a thing or two about cooking.